Friends and Enemies: Our Need to Love and Hate

Friends and Enemies: Our Need to Love and Hate
Dorothy Rowe

One of our most admired and loved psychologists turns her attention to the essence of the good relationship, and why we need enemies as well as friends.At the end of each of her books Dorothy Rowe describes how happiness and satisfaction come not just from achievements but from enjoying good relationships with other people. To date, however, she has not explored what constitutes a rewarding friendship, and in Friends and Enemies she sets out to do just that.But if human beings crave good relationships, they also need bad ones. In imagining we have enemies we at least have the comfort of knowing that someone, somewhere, is thinking of us. At every level both people and nations seek out hate-figures, whether they are children at school or the Serbs and Albanians in Kosovo.By delving into what it is that makes us hate as well as what makes us love and need each other, Dorothy Rowe addresses fundamental issues of human behaviour, drawing upon her own prodigious wisdom and the work of neuroscientists and intelligence specialists to show not only what friendship is but how it may be learned as a skill.

Friends and Enemies

Our Need to Love and Hate

DOROTHY ROWE

DEDICATION (#ulink_4b40c64c-b20f-5231-9771-9e9ce6b73964)

To the memory of my dear friend

Hilary Surman

CONTENTS

Cover (#uf9c8ab26-b81e-5700-80d0-2700023cc644)

Title Page (#u545024b0-46ad-592e-87a5-6e67436c386d)

Dedication (#ua2c80870-6860-5826-8255-0a4445ff2964)

Preface (#u16583548-12c1-51c3-8e88-b38992a6a363)

CHAPTER 1 Friends and Enemies (#u0faf5d8c-45a8-57f1-a0f9-6bf80f5ed7d8)

CHAPTER 2 Learning to Become Ourselves (#udb6f4dc6-b5b5-5799-86c7-26c30bb54cba)

The Meanings in Our Brain (#ulink_0d2e8ae1-2e2c-50ed-a5b9-a061dc946ea2)

Your Meaning Structure (#ulink_c9d7586c-8b61-5672-9b47-1f73a4208ceb)

Forms of Thought (#ulink_46fb754e-42d9-5049-afa5-58251f90d7dd)

Others – The Necessity and the Threat (#ulink_7e2b80b4-cd3e-530f-9796-19a7f781d47c)

CHAPTER 3 Belonging to a Group (#u52c112f6-b2a1-578d-9570-04e6a357ffd4)

Defining Yourself and Your Group (#ulink_d53215e4-2122-5e2f-b97c-16897b10c3f8)

Owing Allegiance to Your Group (#litres_trial_promo)

Is Your Group Your Friend or Your Enemy? (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER 4 Belonging to a Family (#litres_trial_promo)

Becoming Part of the Family (#litres_trial_promo)

What Are Family Values? (#litres_trial_promo)

Family – The Tie That Must Bind Us All? (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER 5 Belonging to a Place (#litres_trial_promo)

Losing Your Place (#litres_trial_promo)

You Can’t Go Home Again (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER 6 Strangers and Enemies (#litres_trial_promo)

The Necessity of Enemies (#litres_trial_promo)

The Leaders We Deserve (#litres_trial_promo)

The Meaning of Violence (#litres_trial_promo)

The Pleasures of War (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER 7 The End of Enmity (#litres_trial_promo)

The Satisfactions and Failures of Revenge (#litres_trial_promo)

Who’s Responsible? (#litres_trial_promo)

Becoming Reconciled (#litres_trial_promo)

Is Forgiveness Possible? (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER 8 The Art of Friendship (#litres_trial_promo)

Living in a Peaceful World (#litres_trial_promo)

Can Your Lover Be Your Friend? (#litres_trial_promo)

The Art of Friendship (#litres_trial_promo)

Notes (#litres_trial_promo)

Index (#litres_trial_promo)

Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)

By the Same Author (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)