The Narcissist Test: How to spot outsized egos ... and the surprising things we can learn from them

Since her mother’s death, Lisa had thrown herself into a bunch of new projects. She was so tightly scheduled she barely had time to think. “I’m always on the go,” she said. “But I’m really pushing myself these days.”

Lisa, who had successfully launched a number of programs for the homeless and elderly, was something of a local celebrity. She had myriad political connections, from alderman to senators, and made frequent TV appearances. “Most people hate all the media work, but I love making speeches or being on camera. I feel so alive then. I’m kind of a ham, anyway. I used to be an actress.” She’d hit the stage as a toddler and continued acting in plays and musicals through high school. “I adore applause.”

“But lately it feels like too much?” I asked.

“Isn’t it?” she asked, and took a deep breath. “How do you know when it’s healthy—all this chasing after success? All these big dreams?” I could tell she’d gotten to the heart of what had been eating at her. She visibly relaxed once she’d said it, her eyes glistening.

“You’ve been more driven than usual these days, since losing your mother. We can work on that. But the joy you take in dreaming big hasn’t just made you happy—it’s made others happy, too,” I said. “I’d say that’s the definition of health.”

At the heart of healthy narcissism is the capacity to love and be loved on a grand scale. People who live in the center of the spectrum don’t always take to the stage, but when they do, they often lift others up with them.

Lisa embodied many of the traits of healthy, centered narcissism. Her grief had driven her into the public eye a little more than usual, but she had enough self-awareness to realize something was wrong. People who live in the center know when their grandiosity is getting the better of them. They know when they’re getting too caught up in themselves. Lisa’s delight in feeling special never blinded her to how other people felt. Her main concern came down to her husband, Doug. She worried he’d become lonely—and he probably had.

“I found him in front of the TV the other day,” Lisa admitted, “and he was looking pretty down. I’d been up all night working on a project and hadn’t come home.”

That prompted a long conversation in which Doug admitted to Lisa that he felt she’d been too self-involved lately.

“He told me all I talk about is work,” she explained. “And he’s right.”

Lisa’s ambition had ratcheted up to high gear. She’d regale Doug with the intricacies of her latest project and how much she’d impressed the clients. She’d surge into a monologue, her voice charged with excitement, as she brought him up to speed on her latest, grand vision to fix the homeless shelter.

“He was feeling totally unimportant,” she said. “I knew I had to fix that. The last thing I want is for Doug to feel like he doesn’t matter to me.”

“So what did you do?” I asked.

“I told him I’d been selfish and would make it up to him,” she said, smiling. “I stayed home the next night and cooked us dinner.”

Lisa displayed other features typical of people around 5 on the spectrum. She drew inspiration from her grand ideas. She’d become a creative leader in her field, rallying supporters even in the political arena. Her dreams pushed her to achieve and rise above an ordinary life but she never used them to make people feel beneath her. If anything, people felt important in her presence, as if they brought value simply by being who they were. Lisa made the quiet woman in the waiting room light up.

That’s a sure sign you’re with someone in the middle of the spectrum—they bring out the best in everyone.

Interestingly, they’re not an especially modest bunch. They don’t need to brag or boast or show off to feel good about themselves, but they’re not bashful about their talents either. Lisa, for example, met her husband at a nightclub and she’d approached him. She slipped up beside him, brushed his shoulder, and after a few minute of flirting, invited him onto the dance floor. “Come on,” she’d said. “I’m a great dancer—promise.”

And she was.

Now you’ve met people along the whole range of the spectrum, from extreme echoists to extreme narcissists. And you can see that narcissism has many faces, both healthy and unhealthy. No doubt at this point you’re wondering: Where do I fall on this spectrum? You may already have some sense just from reading and relating to these stories, but you can get an even better idea by completing the Narcissism Test.

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The Narcissism Test (#ulink_d9e8cf2c-021e-5dc9-b125-cb50090173b7)

How Narcissistic Are You?

Before you grab your pen and flip to the test—I know you’re itching to—you should know a few things.

First, don’t expect to fly through this test. It’s not like one of those quizzes you’ll find in popular magazines. As you’ve seen, narcissism is far more complicated than most people think, which means that any test worth its salt is bound to require a little work. It’ll be worth the extra effort, however; you’ll learn a lot about yourself by the end. You might even be surprised.

Also, this test is not like others designed by psychologists to measure narcissism. Most surveys start with the assumption that any narcissism is bad. Answer “True” to “I like looking at my body” or “I am assertive,” and your narcissism score begins to grow. Say “True” enough times, and you’ll score high enough to be a “narcissist.” But there’s obviously nothing harmful or destructive about feeling confident about your body or being assertive. And it certainly indicates a lack of healthy narcissism when someone freely admits they’re nothing special.

The big failing in present measures of narcissism is their singular focus on the right—mostly the far right—side of the spectrum. What’s more, no other test captures the deficits in healthy narcissism, on the left side of the scale. To address these shortfalls, I and my colleagues, Dr. Stuart Quirk, professor of psychology at Central Michigan University and doctoral candidate Shannon Martin, created a new assessment tool called the Narcissism Spectrum Scale (NSS). To ensure its accuracy, we’ve collected data from several hundred people, young and old, male and female, rich and poor, from all around the world, for a far more representative sampling than the typical college study.

The original NSS consists of 39 questions. To make it easier for people to take on their own, we’ve narrowed it down to 30 items and simplified the scoring system, which you’ll find at the end of the quiz. We call this abbreviated version of the NSS the Narcissism Test. (For more information on the development of the NSS and the preliminary research supporting it, see the references at the end of the book.)

Go ahead now. Get out your pen and get to it. If you’re feeling especially brave, and want to get a really clear idea of where you fall on the spectrum, give the measure to a close friend or your partner and ask them to rate you. Other people often see us far more clearly than we see ourselves.

The Narcissism Test

On a scale of 1 to 5, indicate how much you agree or disagree with each item, using the guide below.

* (#litres_trial_promo) © 1987 American Psychological Association. Adapted with permission from Emmons, R. A. (1987). Narcissism: Theory and measurement. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 52(1), 11–17. Further reproduction/distribution prohibited without written permission of APA.

Narcissism Deficits (ND):

Healthy Narcissism (HN):

Extreme Narcissism (EN):

Understanding Your Score

The scale breaks down into three “factors.” Think of these like three large piles the items fall into mathematically. All three are related to narcissism (or the lack of it). But they predict dramatically different patterns of behavior. Each factor is also a rough indicator of different positions on the spectrum.

As you can tell by the name of each score, the first total represents your placement on the left the spectrum, the second reflects your tendency toward the center (or healthy narcissism), and the third gives you a rough sense of how far you are to the right.

As you can also probably tell, the only factor it’s good to score high on is healthy narcissism. That’s because we designed the scale to mirror the spectrum. It’s the extremes (too little and too much narcissism) that cause all the trouble.

Here’s a quick guide to what your scores mean.

The Narcissism Spectrum