The Gentleman Cadet

“Any fool knows that,” interrupted the head of the room, whom I had called Foxey. “Don’t tell us what we know; tell us something original!”

“O moon?” continued the cadet in the same tremulous voice; “with a face in you, you are not made of green cheese! And you shine by night, and are not seen by day!”

“That’s a lie!” said Foxey. “The moon can be seen by day, and you are trying to deceive us poor mortals! I’m not going to remain quiet, and hear the moon slandered in that way! You must have a boot at your head for that!”

A boot was here hurled at the cadet by Foxey, which seemed by the sound to have struck the mark, and also, from certain sniffling sounds, to have added to the grief of the orator. “Go on!” said Foxey. “O moon! – ”

“If you commence ‘O moon!’ again, I’ll hurl another boot at you!” said Foxey.

“Lovely moon!” continued the cadet. “Lovely moon! – I don’t know what more to say, please.”

“You’re an idiot!” said Foxey; “and if you don’t write out an ode for to-morrow night, I’ll give you another licking! Now where’s the last-joined neux, Shepard? Now then, up on the table and sing a song!” I climbed onto the table, and hesitated a moment as to which song I should sing.

“Look sharp, sir,” said Foxey, “or you’ll have a boot at you! I’m going to teach you manners.”

At this warning I at once commenced the “Bay of Biscay,” and sang it through without a mistake.

“Very well sung,” said Foxey; “now give us another!”

I now sang the “Arethusa,” when Foxey exclaimed, “That’s a stunning song! You must write me out the words of that by to-morrow night. Now, as you’ve sung so well, you may go, but mind, I must have some more songs from you.”

I thanked Foxey for letting me go, and crept into my room, and went to bed as quietly as I could.

Before going to sleep I thought over the events of the day; it seemed to me an age since the morning, and not a few hours only. I had passed through so many different scenes, and had experienced so much anxiety, that each event seemed to have occurred a very long time after its predecessor. The thought uppermost in my mind was, how little the general world knew what a neux had to go through on joining the Academy, and how trying an ordeal it was for a sensitive and delicate boy.

I remembered my father saying to me on one occasion, that on joining the Academy I should be fag to an old cadet, and should have to run messages for him, and fag at cricket, but that I was not to mind this, as it was almost a recognised system at all the large public schools, and was supposed to teach a boy the respect due to his seniors.

I little imagined at the time, and my father would not have believed, the extent to which fagging had degenerated into bullying, in consequence of its being left in the hands of those totally unfitted to exercise it.

That some boys are benefited by being brought under a rigid discipline, and “kept down,” as we may term it, by a system of fagging, and thus brought to respect their seniors in a school, there is no doubt; for an “unlicked cub” is undoubtedly a most obnoxious youth, and grows into a disagreeable man. But where fagging is now only winked at by the authorities, it ought to be recognised, and to a great extent be under their surveillance. If such power is left entirely to boys or youths from fifteen to eighteen, it not unusually becomes a system of tyranny, that damages alike the exerciser of the power and the victim of it.

At the time of which we write, bullying was at its height at the Woolwich Academy. It was winked at by the authorities, for it was known to exist, and no endeavour was made to put it down. If, however, a case of bullying came so prominently before the officers that they could not avoid taking notice of it, then a rigid inquiry was made, and the cadet found guilty of the offence was severely punished.

These examples, however, had little or no effect in checking those who delighted in exercising the power they possessed, and so for several years the same system prevailed, until an entire reorganisation of the establishment occurred.

On awaking, on the following morning, there was a feeling of anxiety came over me that something was wrong. I did not at first realise where I was, but soon the events of the preceding day were recalled, and I anticipated with dread what might happen to me on this day. Any feeling of pride or satisfaction at having passed my examination so well had been entirely knocked out of me, and occasionally I believe I regretted that I had passed, for I knew that there were many months of fagging before me, and if each day was like the last, I doubted whether I could endure it.

The rule established by the old cadets at that time was that a cadet remained a neux or fag for three half years, and on the fourth became an old cadet, when he could exercise the power of fagging others. It was considered that a third-half cadet should not be fagged except under exceptional circumstances, such as being very unpopular or there being no first or second-half cadet available. Those who had the hardest time of it were of coarse the last-joined, but second-half cadets were often as much bullied as the last-joined. To give an idea of the bad spirit that sometimes was shown by certain individuals at that time, the following fact may be related: – A cadet, whose father was a distinguished officer, but who was considered a Tartar in discipline, was fagged to the end of his third half, because the elder brothers of some of the old cadets had suffered at the hands of the disciplinarian. Another similar case was where a young cadet had had a brother at the Academy, who, as an old cadet, had fagged an individual who now happened to be an old cadet, and who used to boast that he had paid back on the younger brother the thrashings he had received from the elder, with one hundred per cent, interest.

My meditations were interrupted by the sound of a bugle which sounded in front of the Academy, and at the same time Snipson called out, “Hullo! what’s that? Why, that’s reveille! Shepard?” he shouted, “I’ll lick you to within an inch of your life! Didn’t I order you to call me at five o’clock? and now it’s half-past six! Now come here!”

I got up and was going to put on some clothes, but Snipson made me come to him as I was, when, taking down a racket that was on the wall, he belaboured me with this till I howled. Holms here interfered, and threatened Snipson with a thrashing if he did not desist – a threat that seemed to produce its effect on Snipson, who, warning me never to forget to call him again, told me to get up and dress so as to be ready to hand him the various things he required whilst performing his toilet.

I now began my regular duties as fag, and as these, with but slight variations, continued during nearly a year, I can here describe them.

About twice a week I had to call Snipson at five o’clock in the morning and light a candle for him, in order that he might work, for he was very much behind in his mathematics and feared he would not qualify for a commission, so he was now working hard to make up leeway. Very often I had to stand beside Snipson’s bed for an hour to hold the ink and a candle, because he could see better than if the candle rested on the bed, and could get at his ink more easily. Snipson, I found, had been longer at the Academy than Holms, and had been reduced from the rank of corporal on account of keeping up lights in his room after hours. This, it was said, had made him very savage, and caused him to be one of the greatest bullies at the “shop,” as the Academy was termed.

Half an hour before Snipson got up I had to be washed and dressed, in order to hand Snipson his sponge, towel, soap, tooth-brush, etc, and to have his coat brushed and held ready to be put on. I then had to inspect him to see if there was a speck of dust on him, and to brush this off if there was.

Holms exacted very little fagging from me; he merely required to be brushed and his things kept tidy in his cupboard, so I was mainly occupied with Snipson.

One of my most difficult duties was at breakfast parade. For our breakfast we were allowed only bread and butter to eat, and Snipson had a great fancy for jam, hot rolls, and marmalade. It was strictly against orders to take any such things into the dining-hall, and as we were all assembled on parade and inspected by an officer previous to going into breakfast, it required considerable dexterity to convey a pot of jam or a roll into the hall without being discovered. The method in which this was managed was the following —

I, being a small boy, was in the rear rank whilst Snipson was in the front rank. I carried the pot of jam in my tail-pocket until the officer on duty had inspected the front rank and the faces of the rear rank. Just as he reached the end of the line and before he inspected the rear of the rear rank, Snipson used to turn round whilst I, extracting the pot of jam from my tail-pocket, tossed it over to him; he caught it and put it in his tail-pocket.

We became quite dexterous at this performance, and accomplished it like a sleight-of-hand trick, till one morning Snipson missed catching it, and the pot fell on parade, broke, and the jam was discovered by the officer on duty.

“Fall out, the gentleman who brought that jam on parade!” said the officer.

I hesitated a minute, and then fell out and said I had done so.

“Then you will be in arrest, sir, till further orders!” said the officer.

I was rather alarmed at this, for I fancied I might receive some severe punishment for this breach of regulation.

Snipson was very angry with me, and accused me of carelessness in pitching the jam to him, so on returning to my room he told me he would give me an angle of forty-five as a punishment. As this angle of forty-five was a very popular punishment in those days, we venture to describe it with some detail.

The cadet to be thus treated stood to attention against the cupboards, his arms rigid to his side, and he rigid from head to foot. He then rested the back of his head against the cupboard and gradually moved his feet out till he rested at an angle of nearly forty-five degrees with the cupboards. The old cadet with a kick then kicked the neux’s feet outwards, and the victim came down heavily on his back.

Cadets upon whom this was practised were not uncommonly so much hurt that they had to go to hospital for several days.

At every parade – and there were about six per day – Snipson and Holms had to be brushed, and I was responsible if they were in the least dirty. If the servant (for there was one servant to sixteen cadets) did not put the washing-basins down soon enough, I had at once to do his work for him. At the dinner I had occasionally to secure two large potatoes, and carry these out without being seen by the officer on duty or the head of the squad. These potatoes I had to conceal in my room, and then, when evening came, to bake them under the grate for Snipson. If I forgot salt I was sent down to the far end of Woolwich to buy a small quantity, and the time allowed me for the journey was so limited that I soon became a good runner.

Of an evening there were two candles in our room, and when Snipson worked he would not allow me to be in the room, as he said seeing me interrupted him, so I had either to wander about outside on parade or go to the library, where I was almost certain to be called upon by some old cadet to run messages for him, or to go to his room and do something, as it was concluded I was idle, or would not be in the library.

About four nights a week I used to be sent for to some of the eight rooms in the division to sing songs. Other neuxes were usually there also, and were also called on to sing, make speeches or odes, or tell stories, and if they did not acquit themselves to the satisfaction of the old cadets, they became the targets for boots, brushes, and other missiles.

This may be called the regular routine through which a fag had to pass on first joining and for a year after his being at the Academy. To work out of academy hours at any study was impossible; and, in fact, it was considered “cool” for a neux to work in his room, so that there was an advantage in taking into the Academy a more extended stock of knowledge than was sufficient for passing only.

One of the great days of dread to the neux was Saturday afternoon. It was usual then to grant leave, from Saturday at three to Sunday night, to all cadets who could produce invitations; and as all who could do so went away during that time, those who remained were in great request. There were two reasons why a neux could not always get away: one was, that he might not have a written invitation; the other was, that he had been turned out to drill twice during the week, either by a cadet having the rank of corporal, or by the officer on duty, for unsteadiness on parade, or want of attention to drill.

The fagging required on Saturday afternoons was somewhat varied. Those old cadets who were not on leave usually made up a party in one of the rooms, and required something to eat and drink. To accomplish this it was necessary to use great caution, for such feasts were against orders, and to bring wine or spirits into the enclosure entailed, if discovered, the gravest punishment.

The most successful manner in which the matter was accomplished was the following: —

Two or three fags were sent out of an afternoon with cloaks on; one of these returned with the others and carried two bottles concealed under his cloak. Sometimes as many as six or seven cadets would be sent out, and if any of these were met by an officer and examined, the chances were against the one who had the wine being caught among so many.

Snipson sent me on these smuggling expeditions very frequently, and threatened me with the most dire punishment if I ever divulged that he had sent me. He assured me that it would only be by stupidity or carelessness that I should be discovered, and so I must take the blame myself.

I had been very successful in avoiding detection until the fifth time; then, however, as I was coming round by the lodge with a bottle of sherry in each hand, and my cloak on, I ran almost against the officer on duty. I tried to slip one bottle under my arm and salute with the other hand, but I did this so awkwardly that he told me to take off my cloak. I did so, and of course was placed in arrest and the bottles taken from me. An inquiry into the matter led to my receiving seven days’ arrest and a month’s stoppage of leave, with a threat that if I were again found guilty of a similar offence I should be rusticated.

From Snipson I received nothing but blame; he declared that it was my own fault that I had been found out, and might consider myself lucky in not getting a thrashing from him for having lost the wine for which he had paid.

Some days after this event Snipson received what was called an “inattentive return” in some of his studies; the result was, that he had also seven days’ arrest, with its attendant drill. This seemed to utterly sour his temper, for he became a greater bully than ever, and invented an amusement from which I was a sufferer. Being unable, in consequence of his arrest, to leave his room, except for meals, drill, and study in the regular academy hours, Snipson used to send for three last-joined cadets, making, with myself, four. He would then ask Timpson in from the opposite room and commence his amusement, which was carried on as follows: —

Taking a seat about five feet from the angles of the table, he used to provide himself with a towel, which he twisted up and tied at the end; this end he wetted, so as to make it an excellent weapon for flipping. The four last-joined cadets were then started to run round the table – two in one direction, two in the opposite. When the cadets had to pass one another there was a struggle between them as to which should be the insider. The outsider of course got all the flips with the towel, so there was a reason for the straggle for inside place.

Snipson described this amusement as such capital fun that several cadets used to come in to see it; but Holms, who was never present, came in one day and stopped it, saying it was bullying for no reason, and he would not allow it; and I was consequently saved from this in Holms’ room; but when Snipson’s arrest was over he used to take me to other rooms and there practise the same amusement.