Stone Cold Touch

Elbows propped on his knees, he lifted his chin, and in a second, he was standing, hands open at his sides. “Layla?”

“I’m tired.” My voice didn’t sound right to me. It was too strained, too tight. I couldn’t be near him, near anyone right now. “I’m going...going to bed.”

The brilliance to his skin tone faded as he turned. He followed me through the door, closing it quietly behind us. The overhead foyer light was off and the small wall sconces cast a soft glow across the floor. Jasmine’s voice floated out from the sitting room, and I picked up my pace. Each step up the staircase sucked the energy right out of me. By the time I reached the landing on the second floor, I wanted to turn and latch myself to Zayne in the worst possible way.

Zayne edged around me, blocking the bedroom door. “Talk to me.”

Slowly, I lifted my gaze, and I didn’t know what he saw in my expression, but he reached out a hand. I stepped back, avoiding his touch, too close to breaking down and doing something I could never forgive myself for. Heart pounding, I shook my head. “I don’t want to talk.”

He cocked his head to the side. “You’re not okay.”

I held my breath.

His jaw locked down. “He hurt you?”

“No,” I forced out, exhaling through my nose.

“I don’t mean physically. He’s hurt—”

“I can’t do this right now. Please,” I whispered, and his eyes widened in understanding. “I need to be alone.”

Zayne’s nostrils flared as he stepped aside. His chest rose sharply. “Do you need anything?”

My stomach was sick from how fast my pulse was pounding. “Orange juice?”

He nodded and quickly slipped down the hall. I went into my bedroom, leaving the light off. Not that I needed it. I spent so much time in here that I could navigate it blind. I walked to the large windows, wishing I could open them to let the cool night air in, but they’d been nailed shut during my “grounded for life” phase. I guess Abbot thought I’d sprout wings and fly off to rendezvous with my demon horde.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I realized that was what I wanted to do. Not the hanging out with a demon horde part, but Hell yeah to the flying-off part. I’d almost shifted earlier tonight. Maybe I could do it again. A rush of tingles spread across my flesh. The skin along my back tightened. I opened my eyes, letting out a slow, low breath. I could almost feel the night air caressing my skin. I wondered how high I could go and if it would feel as good as taking a soul did.

Abbot would freak if I left the compound tonight, and it wouldn’t be safe for me to do so. Not because there was any danger posed to me, but because of the danger I posed to other people right now—innocent people.

Zayne’s presence filled the room. I turned and for the first time since I’d lost the ability to see auras, I was glad I couldn’t see his right now. He placed a large glass of OJ on my desk, between the notebooks and printer paper. He glanced over at me, concern etched into his handsome face. “If you need anything, call or text me.”

I nodded.

“Promise me.” He didn’t come closer, but his stare never left mine.

“I promise,” I swore, swallowing the even bigger lump in my throat. Sometimes—no, all the times—I didn’t think I deserved him. “Thank you.”

His lashes fluttered shut briefly. “Don’t thank me, Layla-bug. Not for this.” His eyes were a deep shade of blue as they locked on to mine again. “You know...you know I’d do anything for you.”

Tears raced to my eyes as I nodded blindly. His lips curved up at the corners, into a tiny smile, and then he left the room. I headed straight for the OJ, downing the contents as I held the cool glass. The acidic burn eased the cravings and when I set the glass down, movement out of the corners of my eyes snagged my attention. I turned, wiping my damp hands along the thighs of my denim skirt.

The white curtains billowed out from the closed window, trailing softly in the empty air.

My brows rose.

There was no wind in the room. The central air hadn’t kicked on. I’d have heard that mammoth beast cranking up, and besides, it was too cold outside for air-conditioning.

As I started toward the window, the curtains drifted back down, settling slowly against the wall. Okay. That was strange. An odd chill raced down my spine. All right. It was actually kind of creepy, but Bambi stirred to life, distracting me as she wound her way up my left leg. Her movement was still a painful reminder, but it served a different purpose now.

You eased my boredom.

I sucked in a sharp breath as the blow hit me below the knees. Turning away from the window, I unzipped my hoodie and carefully slid it off. I let it drop to the floor. Glancing down at my arm, I winced when I saw the dark splotch on the white bandage. What a terrible night.

Biting my lip, I stripped off my clothes and changed into a pair of sleep shorts. Before I could pull on a long-sleeve shirt, Bambi drifted off my skin. In the darkness, she was nothing more than a shadow as she pieced herself together. Instead of leaving to hunt or running back to Roth like a forgotten pet, she slithered up to the dollhouse Abbot had built for me when I was a child.

I’d gone all badass on the poor thing while I’d been grounded and Roth had disappeared. About a week ago, it had reappeared in my bedroom, the roof and sides reassembled. I assumed it had been Zayne, and I didn’t know why he did it or why I’d been relieved to see it. Obviously, I had problems with letting go of things.

Bambi managed to get all six feet of her coiled into the top floor, her head resting on the miniature bed. She looked...comfy. And it looked weird.

Minutes passed as I stared at the demonic familiar. A chill formed in my chest, replacing the god-awful burn. Why had Roth given her up to me? Bambi was his familiar, not mine, and he’d always seemed fond of the snake. It didn’t make sense, but it probably also didn’t matter. Long ago, he’d admitted there were things he did without any reason.

And as it turned out, I was just one of those many things.

It hurt something bad as I climbed into bed, lying on my uninjured arm. It wasn’t even late as I squeezed my eyes shut, but it felt like forever since this morning. Everything seemed to have changed in the span of a few hours.

I smelled like an Upper Level demon. Roth was back and he was relatively unharmed. A Lilin had been born. Apparently an orgasm was apocalyptic. And Roth...he’d never cared about me.

I’d just been a job to him.

And nothing more.

* * *

My head ached as though I’d spent the night banging it against the wall, which would’ve been more fun and fruitful than staring at the ceiling, replaying all the moments Roth and I had shared. I’d been looking for a fatal flaw in our wannabe relationship and that had been as productive as drilling holes in a bucket and trying to carry water in it.

Roth was a demon.

A male demon.

A male demon who liked to covet pretty things.

And I was as inexperienced as a nun, so of course, I’d attributed a lot to what he’d said to me, to the way he’d looked at me, to every touch and kiss. I’d thought it all meant something and the hurt was intense, tasting like bitter grapes in the back of my mouth. Strangely, as much as my throat and eyes burned and for all the tears that built in my eyes, those tears didn’t fall. I wished they would. It felt as though there’d be something cleansing in the act.

When it came time to rise for class, I snuggled down under the heavy, warm comforter. I waited for someone to come and tell me to get out of bed, but all that came were the footsteps of Nicolai around the time he’d leave to take me to school. He didn’t open the door to check in. After a few seconds, his steps faded down the hall.

I closed my eyes, unsure if I should be grateful that no one seemed to care or if I should be hurt by that. Before Roth...before the clan knew of him and our relationship, Abbot or someone would’ve been in here, dragging me out of the bed or at least making sure Freddy Krueger hadn’t snatched me. Now? Not so much. More than ever before, I was a permanent guest in their home, one that had outstayed her welcome.

As I drifted back off, my brain wandered in every direction. An old plan resurfaced, one I hadn’t given much thought to in a while. My sleepy gaze drifted to my desk. The empty OJ glass rested on top of the stack of college applications. Those papers were nearly forgotten and it was probably too late to seriously consider enrolling for next fall, but maybe that was what I’d do.

Screw all of this—the Lilin, Roth and all the Wardens. I could go to college far away from here and pretend to be...pretend to be what? Normal? I could do it. I’d been doing it for so long. Blend in among the humans and make this all into a distant memory. It was a selfish decision, but I didn’t care. I wanted to be selfish and I didn’t want to be here, in this body any longer or stuck with these problems.

One good thing was I wouldn’t see him at school. There was no reason for Roth to return there.

At some point I drifted off again, awakening when I felt the bed shift under sudden, unexpected weight and the stirring of the covers. Disoriented, I blinked open my eyes. Heart kicking in my chest, I glanced over my shoulder.

Two cerulean eyes met mine.