Pride and Prejudice, a play founded on Jane Austen's novel

[They also embrace.]

Lydia

Oh, mamma! Aren't you glad to see us? [Wickham turns and talks to Jane and Elizabeth.] Do all the people hereabouts know that I am married? I was afraid they might not, and so I let my hand just rest on the window-frame outside the carriage, so that everybody could see my wedding ring; and then I bowed and smiled like everything.

Mrs. Bennet

You may be sure, my dear, that everybody will rejoice with us in our good luck. [Sighing.] Your marriage is a great compensation to me after all my disappointment about Jane and Lizzy. I do not blame Jane, for she would have got Mr. Bingley if she could. But Lizzy! Oh, Lydia, it is very hard to think she might now have been Mrs. Collins! But how about your clothes?

Lydia

Oh, I have a lot already. You may be sure I would not forget them.

Mrs. Bennet

[Alarmed.] But you didn't know the best warehouses! Well, never mind, we will see to that later. Now you must all come in and have dinner. You must be famished. Come, girls. Come, my dear Wickham.

[They all go toward the house. At the door Lydia pushes Jane back.]

Lydia

Ah, Jane, I take your place now. I go first because I am a married woman.

[They all go into the house. After a pause, Harris's voice is heard outside.]

Harris

Will not you come into the house, Madam?

Lady Catherine

[Entering, followed by Harris.] No, I prefer to remain here. Tell Miss Elizabeth Bennet that a lady wishes to see her at once. Remember, I cannot be kept waiting.

Harris

Yes, Madam. [He bows and goes out.]

Lady Catherine

[Looks about her with a sniff, then deliberately seats herself in the big garden chair with the umbrella over it. She mutters to herself from time to time and taps her foot impatiently.] Insufferable impudence! Conceited little minx! She shall have a piece of my mind.

[Elizabeth comes to her from the house.]

Lady Catherine

[Without moving.] Miss Bennet, you can be at no loss to understand the reason of my journey hither. Your own heart – your own conscience must tell you why I come.

Elizabeth

[In unaffected astonishment.] Indeed, you are mistaken, Madam. I am not at all able to account for the honour of seeing you here.

Lady Catherine

Miss Bennet, you ought to know that I am not to be trifled with. I have just been told that you – that Miss Elizabeth Bennet would in all likelihood be soon married to my nephew, Mr. Darcy. Though I know it to be a scandalous falsehood, I instantly resolved on setting off for this place that I might make my sentiments known to you.

Elizabeth

[With astonishment and disdain.] If you believed it impossible to be true, I wonder you took the trouble of coming so far. What could your Ladyship propose by it?

Lady Catherine

At once to insist upon having such a report universally contradicted.

Elizabeth

[Coolly.] Your coming to Longbourn to see me and my family, will be rather a confirmation of it, if indeed such a report is in existence.

Lady Catherine

If! Do you then pretend to be ignorant of it? Do you not know that such a report is spread about?

Elizabeth

I never heard that it was.

Lady Catherine

And can you likewise declare that there is no foundation for it?

Elizabeth

Your Ladyship may ask questions which I shall not choose to answer.

Lady Catherine

This is not to be borne. Miss Bennet, I insist upon being satisfied. Has he – has my nephew made you an offer of marriage?

Elizabeth

Your Ladyship has declared it to be impossible.

Lady Catherine

It ought to be so. But your arts and allurements may have made him forget what he owes to himself and to all his family. You may have drawn him in.

Elizabeth

If I have, I shall be the last person to confess it.