Boyfriend Shopping: Shopping for My Boyfriend / My Only Wish / All I Want for Christmas Is You

“Something real sneaky and mean.” Sabrina jabbed the tabletop with her index finger three times.

“I got to give it to her. She has a real twisted way of seeing things,” Mike said.

“Hey, guys.” Keysha and Wesley walked up to our table with smiles on their faces. I guess they kissed and made up with each other. Lauren and I said hello to them.

“Well, Mike and Sabrina, I see that you don’t care to have dinner with me and Wesley, so I guess he and I will just get our own table.” Keysha made a smart remark under her breath before she turned on her heel and followed behind the hostess.

“Later,” said Wesley as he trailed behind Keysha and the hostess.

“Okay, Mike, tell me why you think Bernita is twisted,” I asked.

“I’ll let Sabrina tell you,” he said as he slouched down in his seat. At that moment our waiter appeared with glasses of water for us. I told him to give us a few more minutes to look over the menu. Once he had stepped away, Lauren and I looked at Sabrina and waited for her to share the details of her rivalry with Bernita. Sabrina took a sip of water and then began talking.

“It happened earlier this year. I accepted a Facebook friend request from a guy named Shawn. I didn’t think anything of it because friend requests pop up all of the time. Next thing I knew, Shawn started posting stupid comments on my wall as if we had hooked up.”

“What!” Lauren said as she leaned in closer to Sabrina.

“You heard her correctly,” Mike chimed in.

“So what does Shawn have to do with Bernita?” I asked.

“Wait, it gets better,” Mike said and then waited for Sabrina to continue.

“Next thing I know, Mike sees the posts from Shawn and calls me up shouting at me.”

“I thought she was playing around on me,” Mike said.

“I had to tell Mike to calm down before I gave him a real reason to be mad. Anyway, I explained to Mike that I didn’t know Shawn personally and told him that I would delete him as a friend. Well, I didn’t get around to it right away and Shawn posted another comment talking about the birthmark that I have on my back and how he loved kissing it.”

“What!” I said. “If you didn’t know him, how does he know about the birthmark on your back?”

“That’s what I wanted to know. Because when I saw that comment, my anger went into a sprint and I was ready to crack both of their skulls,” Mike broke in again. I glanced over at Lauren, who had just taken a sip of her water.

“Will you let me finish, Mike?” Sabrina had grown tired of his interruptions.

“Mike is all ticked off because he truly thought that Shawn and I had a thing going on behind his back. So Mike decides to come over to my house to confront me about it.”

“I wanted to see her in-box on Facebook and her cell phone so that I could read the messages.” Mike jumped in once again.

“Do you want to tell this story?” Sabrina snapped.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Mike apologized.

“When Mike came over, I told him that I didn’t have anything to hide. I let him go through my Facebook in-box and my text messages. When he didn’t find anything, it left us both curious as to who Shawn was, so we sat at my computer and did a Google search. We saw another Facebook profile show up with the same picture, but the name was spelled Shaun with a u instead of Shawn with a w. I clicked on the link and sent a friend request to the real Shaun. When he accepted my friendship, Mike and I both saw that he was friends with Bernita. In fact, he was Bernita’s cousin.”

“Wait a minute. I’m confused,” Lauren said.

“Bernita created a fake Facebook profile using her cousin’s name and then acted like the fake Shawn and Sabrina had been hooking up. You get it now?” I said to Lauren.

“Wow. That ain’t right. Why did she do that?” asked Lauren.

“That’s what I wanted to know, so I confronted her,” Sabrina said.

“Ooh! I know you wanted to beat her down,” I said, feeling my dislike of her boiling up.

“Yeah, I did, but I really wanted to know why she did it,” Sabrina said.

“Did she even own up to your assumption that she’d set up the fake profile?” Lauren asked.

“Yeah, she owned up to it,” said Mike.

“Really? Wow!” I said.

“So when I saw her, I asked her why she did it. She gave me a smart-ass answer of ‘why not,’ which really wasn’t an answer at all. I was about to slap her, but Mike stopped me. That’s when she started saying a bunch of bull about Mike being too good for me and how she wanted to break us up so that she could get with him. And blah blah blah.”

“Oh, hell no.” Lauren leaned back in her seat and glanced over at me with a hollowed look of disbelief in her eyes.

“That’s exactly what I said to her,” Mike added.

“So, that’s why I don’t like Bernita. She’s bad news and will do anything to get a boyfriend. My grandmother used to tell me about girls like Bernita. The ones with a pretty face and ugly ways,” Sabrina said.

“She’s crazy,” I said as the waiter reappeared. We all took a quick glance at the menu and placed our orders. I made a mental note to myself to shoot Jeremy another text message, warning him of how treacherous Bernita could be.

four (#ulink_5a6eae6a-890d-56fc-ab9b-ca71d4ef9dc7)

On Saturday evening I was in the family room lounging in my favorite chair with my laptop. I was watching the YouTube channel of a girl at my school named Allison Rivers. Allison’s mom is a local television reporter named Angela Rivers, who had come to our school for career night last year. Allison took it upon herself to create a reality video blog about life at our high school. A lot of kids relished the idea of having a brief starring role in the happenings at Thornwood High. She had posted various videos of her friends doing obnoxious things like scribbling a smiley face with a Magic Marker on the cheek of a student who had fallen asleep on a school bus. Another video showed a bunch of students dancing while waiting for the school bus to arrive. I had seen several of those students around school, and one of them was even in my psychology class. I clicked the link to another video and watched as Allison videotaped her boyfriend at a local park going down a sliding board on his stomach. When he got to the end of the ride, he inadvertently tumbled off of it. I could hear Allison in the background laughing as he pretended to be injured.

“Hey.” I looked up from my computer screen and saw my cousin Viviana, who now lived with me, my sister and my younger brother, Paul.

“Hey,” I said back and noticed how great she looked wearing a patchwork denim top with matching jeans. “Where are you going?”

“Out with Red,” she said, stepping into a nearby bathroom.

“Are you guys dating now?” I asked. I knew that Red liked her, but I wasn’t sure that she was all that crazy about him.

“Yeah, we’re dating. We made it official a few days ago. He’s not such a bad guy. I’m glad I took a chance and got to know him. Maya, Misalo, Red and I are going out to a movie. Would you like to go?”

“No. I would be the only one there without a boyfriend. I don’t want to be the fifth wheel of the group,” I said, feeling awful about being single.

Viviana exited the bathroom and said, “It’s okay. We won’t make you feel awkward.”

“No. I’m cool with just hanging out at home. Say, are you going to the holiday dance at school?” I asked.

“Of course. Everyone is going. In fact, now that you’ve said that, I need to send myself a reminder to pick up Red’s Christmas present.” Viviana removed her phone from her back pocket and typed in a reminder notice.

“What are you buying him?” I asked.

“You know where the T-shirt place at the mall is, right?” Viviana asked.