The Bee's Bayonet (a Little Honey and a Little Sting)

To help our Women win the Ballot Box?
The trouble lies, not here, but with the Bosses
Who trade in graft and deal in double crosses.
The sooner we eliminate this class
The quicker will full freedom come to pass.
But watch the Anti! Make her hold her tongue,
Or duck her in the pond, the geese among;
Or lock her in the booth, without a mirror,
Where she can't see herself and we can't hear her.
Thus, neck and neck, these two great questions lead:
Will men be equal to their Country's need?
If one Reform upon the other waits,
Speed Equal Suffrage to the White House gates,
And Prohibition (Farewell, Dear old Liquor!)
Will follow as the tape pursues the ticker!
But if, perchance, the Dry's should get a trimmin',
Smile, if you please,—but don't prohibit Women!

A REUNION

Once more, Good Friends, we're gathered 'round the board
To feel the joys of fellowship restored.
There's nothing like them! Friends can't be replaced,
Nor thoughts of them from Memory be effaced!
Of course we form new friendships, but I feel
That these, like old ones, are not staunch and real.
It takes long years to prove our friends, you know,—
Those who are steadfast in our weal or woe.
So here's to you, Miss Prim! and you, Miss Prude!
We wouldn't have you different if we could!
Two Roses rare you are, and sweet; I ween
You were not doomed to bloom and blush unseen.
I've seen your cheeks suffused with crimson hues;
(Dame Nature's make-up is the rouge you use!)
I've seen your lips in saucy challenge perked;
(But for your protests, they'd be overworked!)
I've seen your eyes with mischief filled and tears;
(But I could never pity you, My Dears!)
I've seen your breasts with agitation heave;
(Your hearts must be affected, I believe!)
I've seen your shapely forms pass in review
Before my lonely couch, in dreams of you,—
And what I haven't seen, some little bird
Has told me all about. Upon my word,
If what he says be true, what I have heard
To what I've seen, methinks, would be preferred.
Then here's to Friendship! What more potent force
Doth link mankind together? Love, of course,
Doth fetter us betimes, but Time must say
Whom we shall cherish, whom to cast away.
When Love and Friendship, heart and hand, are bound,
What more of Joy can compass us around?
So, Friends and Sweethearts, Comrades tried and true,
We pledge our love and loyalty to you!

THE CRUISE OF THE SQUIRREL

Somewhere, sometime, I've heard it said, or read
That Fools butt in where Angels fear to tread.
A single "Angel" with a Pack of Fools
Is not enough to change established rules;
And so, I think, the "Angel" in this case
Should bear, alone, the onus and disgrace,—
For Angels should know better than to swoop
Upon the Dove of Peace and fowl her coop.
The Good Ship Squirrel has left our shores behind
To measure human breath 'gainst Ocean Wind.
"Laden with Nuts" her clearance shows. Four Bells!
She's off! to fight for Peace with all those shells.
No Port, however, figures in her quest,
Her "papers" show,—and this is manifest!

The Dove of Peace, perched on the mizzen-top,
Hath disappointments sticking in her crop.
The peaceful bird is shy and very frail;
Can't stand the weight of salt upon her tail;
The War has made her nervous, and the roar
Of many cannon made the poor bird soar.

Up springs a storm! The Dove's white feathers show,
While Nuts are cracking on the deck below.
And then an iceberg looms against the sky,
But still the Dove is far too proud to fly;
But when, anon, a periscope appears
The Bird of Peace is overcome by fears,
And "beats it" to the iceberg's crystal crest,
Where she prepares to build her neutral nest.

The Submarine atop the billows now,
Stands by the Squirrel until she dips her bow
And sinks beneath the waves; then looks above
And takes a parting broadside at the Dove.
The "Angel" then, in Neptune's sky-machine
Ascendeth in a blaze of gasoline;
The Dove, marooned, broods over many things,
Nestling her poor cold feet beneath her wings.

Regenerate, the Angel has returned
From empyrean Flight, to Earth, and learned
(I think Saint Peter gave him sound advice!)