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Классная книга. Очень многое объясняет, что скрытое реально происходит в человеке
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The Bee's Bayonet (a Little Honey and a Little Sting)
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If a Lion
Were a dyin',
Would you go into his lair
And attempt to soothe his cryin'?
Do it! Do it, if you dare!
AMENITIES
The Parson tied the Hymen knot
That made two halves a whole;
The while a speculating what
Would be his marriage toll.
The Groom, when he had kissed the Bride,
Was taken with the chills:
Her icy lips could not abide
Osculatory thrills.
But soon his fever was effaced;
His hand obeyed his will,
And in the Parson's palm he placed
A soiled One Dollar Bill.
"Anathema!" the preacher cried,—
"Thou reptile of the Earth!"
The Groom replied—"Then take the Bride!
I think it's all she's worth!"
"DANSER SUR UN VULCAN"
Now goeth forth the Swell elite,
With patent leathers on his feet;
With collar spotless, cuffs to suit,
In truth bon-ton, from hat to boot.
A bootblack, with an eye to biz,
With dirty hands and ugly phiz,
Beholds him as he goes, and throws
Banana peels beneath his toes.
Along the pave Adonis trips;
He steps upon the peel, and slips
Into the juicy gutter:
His eyes are filled with fire and ire,
But water, muck and mire conspire
To drown the words he'd utter.
L'ENVOI
Go where you will, the stars will shine,
And so will Tony, I opine:
But O! the stars Adonis spied
When he went "out," a sewerside.
AT THE BULGING UDDER TIME
Years have passed since I, an urchin,
Drove the Cow, so sleek and prime,
Down the path, where crows were perchin'
At the Bulging Udder Time.
Those were days well worth one's living,
When I watched, with joy sublime,
What the generous Cow was giving
At the Bulging Udder Time.
Later on, when we grew older,
Father gave us each a dime—
Me and Bill—to milk and hold her,
At the Bulging Udder Time:
But, alas! we came to grieving:
Bill was kicked and smeared with grime,
And the Cow boo-booed on leaving—
"Come around some udder time!"
VAGARIES
The husky Corn has pushed ahead with silken locks atop;
O, Brother, ain't it shocking?
And Colonels are expecting quite a bumper Bourbon crop—
Saloonward they are flocking!
But when they strip the ears and find the wasteful worms surrounding,
'Twill make the "moonshine" dimmer;
For ev'ry still has coils of worms illicitly abounding
Where sour-mash mixtures simmer.
The hillside Stills their fragrance breathe, and wood birds are a sounding;
My jug is in the hollow:
So fill it up, but watch your step and Secret Service hounding!
The scent is sweet to follow.
The Cotton Bolls are bursting forth with weevils in the sepals;
Come, Dinah, get to picking!
And rush the staple to the mart to clothe the naked peoples!
Or you will get a licking!
The baleful Gins are all prepared to do the fibre-squeezing:
Get busy, Massa Willie!
And set the weevils back a bit, and save the folks from freezing!
It's getting powerful chilly!
Последний отзыв
Классная книга. Очень многое объясняет, что скрытое реально происходит в человеке