The Ex Factor

The Ex Factor
Eva Woods

'Smart and unashamedly fun… A real romantic treat’-HeatIs it possible to freecycle love?Modern dating is hard, especially when all you meet are liars, oddballs, men who wear Superman pants and men who live with their mums.So why not date someone who already comes pre-approved? Why not recycle people you’ve dated and share them with your friends? That’s Marnie’s new plan for herself and her three best friends, perennially single Helen, recently divorced Rosa and cynical lawyer Ani.What could possibly go wrong?Through bad dates and good, the four friends are starting to realise that dating your friend’s exes – and falling for them – can come with some serious pitfalls.’A fresh take on modern romance’ – Sunday Mirror

EVA WOODS grew up in Ireland and now lives in London, where she writes and lectures on creative writing. She likes wine, pop music and holidays, and thinks online dating is like the worst board game ever invented.

(http://www.mirabooks.co.uk)

To Diana Beaumont, who makes me a better writer

Table of Contents

Cover (#ub42d6df8-65ac-5bcc-9426-b14aeb12099c)

About the Author (#ub7f3b544-bd87-5b4f-b152-a4429d4eae28)

Title Page (#ubd183167-8b33-537c-8396-12461de3be47)

Dedication (#u7b7736d1-2001-502d-9f62-c70bf13e7c17)

Prologue (#ulink_bcfc043a-25d1-5226-9173-e46c3524d14e)

Chapter 1: Interrupted Routines (#ulink_528152b1-07c3-5dea-ba2c-6bc3b3d9f787)

Chapter 2: Pickled Eggs and Popcorn (#ulink_27f4bc97-e640-5ba4-ae64-7ad6141737f1)

Chapter 3: The Internet Wizard (#ulink_bd4cea2a-fb43-5699-832d-9ee89650df62)

Chapter 4: The Accidental Proposal (#ulink_5935bcaa-3e2e-5b1c-8296-25d2f2263d6b)

Chapter 5: A Decaf No-Syrup Low-Fat Soy Latte (#ulink_0bbc6b3a-6839-5d46-81f0-d8f92f1cc6f9)

Chapter 6: The Ex Factor (#ulink_dd6500f9-abdf-544d-b95f-27d6f67213d1)

Chapter 7: How Everyone Met Everyone (#ulink_62d3dd95-8851-5782-98e1-907c098a41fe)

Chapter 8: Four Dates and a Social Funeral (#ulink_c60089f7-4bf1-5683-ab28-7774f5bb8306)

Chapter 9: The Madwoman in the Attic (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 10: Broccoli in the Bathtub (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 11: Drowning in a Vat of Rescue Remedy (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 12: War and Piss (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 13: Bumhead and Eggface (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 14: Undercover Cheerleader (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 15: The Dirtiest Martini (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 16: Triple Word Scores (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 17: The Love Algorithm (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 18: The Leather Ceiling (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 19: Bling the Merciless (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 20: My Miniature Heart (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 21: Jurassic Garden Centre (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 22: Suggestive Topiary (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 23: The Awkward Makeover (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 24: The Final Showdown (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 25: The Incident (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 26: The Dating Dessert Buffet (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 27: How Voldemort met Chewbacca (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 28: Bean Counting (#litres_trial_promo)

Epilogue (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

Prologue (#ulink_4d12fec4-0626-5bac-a612-9df3dc17be98)

Marnie

‘Will all passengers please fasten their seat belts; the captain has now started our descent…’

She ignored the announcement for as long as possible. After all, when you were running away—when you had nowhere else to go—there was no hurry to arrive. Only when the air hostess came to tell her off did she grudgingly belt up, and take out her headphones and open her window blind. From above, London was grey. Like something shrivelled, shivering in the January air. She wasn’t sure why she was coming back. Not home—she didn’t know exactly where home was right now.

The plane banked lower through freezing winter fog. Around her people began to gather their possessions, crumple up their rubbish, stretch their legs and arms. Looking forward to a new city. Buckingham Palace. The Tower of London. Madame Tussauds.

Not her. She was terrified. But if her mother had taught her anything, it was this: always get your game face on. And so she put on her huge sunglasses, despite the gloom, and brushed in-flight food from her carefully put-together outfit, reapplied red lipstick. Was the cape-coat too much? The dress too bright? No time to change now. She took out her phone and composed a tweet. Hitting the tarmac! Can’t wait to see you all, London! xx.

She had a moment to think of what she’d left, and feel the tears push at her eyes for the tenth time that journey. Game face. She pasted on a smile. The tannoy dinged, and the grey ground came into sight. She was back.

Chapter 1 Interrupted Routines (#ulink_9312d212-9755-505c-bf12-37908d8a9ecd)

Helen