The Best Policy

“If rebates on insurance premiums were not unlawful,” he asked, “do you think people of your kind are the ones who would get them? Well, hardly. The millionaires, the rich men, the men who take out the big policies, would get them, and you little fellows would pay the full price, just as you do wherever else the rebate evil exists. This law was made to protect you, and you want to break it down. Well, I suppose there are others just as bad. The men for whose benefit a law is made frequently insist upon playing with it until they drop it and break it, and then they wonder why the splinters won’t do them as much good as the original law.” Having warmed up to a subject that interested him, Murray was talking for himself now. Adolph could understand in a general way what he meant, but many of the remarks were entirely beyond his comprehension. “Look at it in another way,” Murray went on. “As a speculation, the insurance rebate is a mistake. The man who gets or accepts a rebate is taking a risk. ‘Well,’ he argues, ‘so is the man who buys wheat or stocks or undeveloped real estate of problematical future value.’ Quite right; but when you speculate you want to be sure that your probable or possible profits bear a fair proportion to the risk and your possible losses. It’s all right to make a secured loan of one thousand dollars at five per cent., but when you put your thousand into a scheme where there is a chance of losing every cent of it, you also want a chance of making a good deal more than the legal rate of interest. Russell Sage is said to look as closely after the small profits as the large, but Russell would shy away from an investment – a real safe investment– that promised only a ten cent profit on five dollars; and if it were a speculation, where he might lose the whole five, he would want to see a possibility of winning at least half as much. The man who accepts an insurance premium rebate is going into a speculation – a flimsy, cheap speculation, with a chance of loss so entirely out of proportion to the slight advantage he gains over other policy-holders that no man with a grain of sense would consider it for a moment. To secure a discount on his premium he risks his whole policy. Why, in your case you would put a two-thousand-dollar policy in danger to save a few miserable dollars. It isn’t cleverness, it isn’t shrewdness, it isn’t business, it isn’t sense; it isn’t anything but damn foolishness. Do you understand?”

“Sure,” answered Adolph. “If we iss found out, I looss the policy and you looss a fine. We both looss.”

“That’s it exactly.”

“Vell, if we both looss by telling, who iss going to find it out?” demanded Adolph triumphantly. “You bet you, I take the chance. Go ahead with her.”

Murray leaned wearily back in his chair.

“You’d better get out of here,” he said. “This company wouldn’t issue a policy in which you had any sort of interest on any terms. I was curious to discover if I could not stir up just a glimmer of business sense in you, and my curiosity is satisfied. You seem to me like a man who would risk all his money to win a fly-speck, if he thought he was going to win it by some underhand deal. Get out as quick as you can! But I tell you again, don’t fool with rebates!”

Adolph stopped in the doorway.

“You got to haf the whole commission, yes?” he remarked with accusing bitterness. “I take you for a hog.”

Then he disappeared very suddenly, for he feared Murray would pursue.

Here again was the measure of Adolph. In spite of Murray’s explanation, he could see nothing except a chance to win by saving a part of the commission. He could not comprehend that he was running any unusual risk or doing anything that another would not do, if the other had the sense to see the chance. In fact, he was fully convinced in his own mind that Murray was merely talking for effect and really desired the whole commission for himself. This made him the more determined to gain this small advantage for himself – partly because his little business world was made up of such devious methods, and partly because it would be an evidence of his own cleverness.

Now, occasionally a solicitor for a company of high standing, acting on his own responsibility, will divide his commission in order to get some one to take out a policy. If he is trying to make a record, the temptation is considerable. If the policy is large, his half of this commission may be more than his whole commission in most other cases. He does this secretly, but he is inviting three kinds of trouble: his own discharge, a fine for his company, and a loss for the policy-holder. These three things will follow discovery, but he takes the chance. And there are irresponsible or unscrupulous companies or agencies (so it is said) that will tacitly approve such a course in some instances, taking the necessary risk in order to get business. Of course, no first-class or reliable company will sanction or even tolerate such methods.

Nevertheless, Adolph, the shrewd fool, finally found the man for whom he was searching. A man may nearly always find trouble if he searches for it industriously, and Adolph was industrious. Unfortunately for him, however, he treated several other solicitors to his knowing wink before he met the one who agreed to his proposition, and, when it was learned that Adolph was taking out a policy on his wife’s life, they were quick to reach conclusions. But it was none of their business, and they said nothing. What they knew merely made it easier to prove the case, if the question should ever arise. The solicitor who finally entered into the deal was one who had done the same thing before. He was “broke” a good part of the time, and, when in that condition, he did not question closely the ethics of any proposition that promised an early, even though small, cash return. He was an outcast among such of the many conscientious men of the fraternity as knew him, but the local agent of the company that employed him was not particular, and there were rumors that the company itself might have been more strict.

Anyhow, Adolph got the policy he wanted. His wife was disposed to object at first, for she had not been consulted until Adolph had made his bargain. There was no use, he argued, in telling her about it until he knew what he was going to do.

“I buy you a policy,” he finally told her in the tone that a man – another man – might tell his wife he would buy her a sealskin coat.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“It pays zwei t’ousand dollars,” he explained.

Mrs. Schlimmer was not enthusiastic.

“When?” she asked.

“When you are in the grafe,” he answered after a pause.

“What’s the use to me?” she persisted.

“My dear,” he said, with such gallantry as he could command, “it shows what you iss vorth.”

Somehow, she was not flattered. She was a good wife, who worked hard, and she herself thought she was worth it, but she was selfish enough to think she ought to realize on her own value.

“No, nein,” he argued, “it ain’t the vay it’s done. You got yourself, ain’t it, yes? When you ain’t got yourself, you ain’t here, but I am. You don’t looss yourself when you die, but I looss you, and you’re vorth a lot.”

“There’s other women,” she retorted.

“But they ain’t vorth what you are by zwei t’ousand dollars,” he insisted, and this delicate bit of flattery won the day. After all, it made no difference to her. She rebelled a little at going to the insurance office to be examined, however.

“You tell ’em I’m all right,” she urged. “You know.”

But a new gown – a cheap one – gained this point, and she went.

Adolph prided himself very much on this stroke of business. His great aim in life was to pay a little less than the market price for everything, and he was never convinced that he was really doing this unless the deal had to be carried out in some underhand way. When he could buy for less than others he was making so much more money, and it was his experience that the biggest profit lay in shady transactions. In others he had made, or saved, much more than in this, but the difficulties he encountered in this instance convinced him that it was an especially notable achievement. He was proud of his success.

“You bet you, they don’t fool me very much,” he asserted frequently.

And, in time, he told how clever he was. Not at first, however; he was very cautious at first, for Murray’s words had made an impression on him. But, after he had paid a few premiums, the lapse of time gave him a feeling of security, and one day, in boasting of his business shrewdness, he mentioned that he was even sharp enough to get life insurance at a bargain. After that, it was easier to speak of it again, and he finally told the story. The news spread in his own little circle. It was quite a feat, and he was held to have demonstrated remarkable cleverness. When another told of some sharp business deal, some one would remark, “Yes, that was clever, but you never got life insurance at a bargain.” And, in the course of time – six months or more from the time the story was first breathed – it came to the ears of one Daniel Grady. This was unfortunate, for Daniel at once jumped to the conclusion that he had been cheated. Daniel had a small policy in the same company, and this policy was costing him the full premium without rebate of any kind from any insurance solicitor or anybody else. Daniel did not like this, and neither did he like Adolph; in fact, he would have been willing to pay a little higher premium for the privilege of making trouble for Adolph. Failing that, Daniel would like to get on even terms with him.

“It’s th’ divil iv a note,” said Daniel, “that I sh’u’d be payin’ more than that little shrimp, an’ me only thryin’ to take care iv Maggie an’ th’ childhern. I’ll go down to th’ office an’ push th’ face iv th’ man in if he don’t give me th’ same rate, I will so.”

But Daniel wisely did nothing of the kind, for he recalled that there were a number of clerks in the office and a police station not far away, and he had no wish to add a fine to his expenses. Instead, after pondering the matter a few weeks and growing steadily more indignant, he went to see a little lawyer who had an office over a saloon, next to a justice of the peace. Daniel planned only to get his premiums reduced, but the lawyer saw other opportunities.

“It’s a great chance,” said the lawyer. “You’re a policy-holder – ”

“Who says so?” demanded Daniel, for this sounded to him like an accusation.

“I mean,” explained the lawyer, “that you are insured in the company.”

“What iv it?” asked Daniel.

“Why, the other policy-holders are the ones discriminated against in a case like this,” said the lawyer, “and any one of them can file a complaint.”

“I’m not the kind iv a man to do much complainin’,” declared Daniel. “I niver see that it did much good. If I c’u’d give Schlimmer a bad turn – ”

“That’s it; that’s it exactly. You can knock his insurance sky-high and get some money yourself.”

“Say that wanst more,” urged Daniel. “Me hearin’ seems to be playin’ thricks.”

“The law,” said the lawyer slowly, “fines a company for doing that – ”

“How much?”

“I’ll have to look it up. Pretty stiff fine, though, and the informer – ”

“I don’t like th’ word.”

“Well, the man who makes the complaint gets half the fine. Do you understand that? Let me take charge of the matter for you, and we’ll divide the money.”

“Will it hurt me own insurance?” asked Daniel.

“Not a bit.”

“I’m not lukkin’ to l’ave Maggie an’ th’ childhern without money whin I die, jist to land a dollar-twinty f’r me own pocket now. That’s a Schlimmer thrick.”

“Your insurance will be just as good as it ever was,” the lawyer asserted.

“Will there be twinty dollars in it f’r me?” Daniel persisted.