This Is The Way

How do I look he says.

Bad I says. You stink. You’re still wearing the clothes you came in I says.

Have you a shower here he says.

There’s one down on the landing I says.

Will there be a queue for it he says.

All my time here I never seen anyone using it I says. I don’t think they shower I says.

He leaned back crossway on the bed then rolled on his right and pushed himself up. It was an effort for him, I seen it.

Ah sweet fuck he says.

Relax there now I says don’t be taking things too quick.

Ah that’s good, that’s good he says sitting up. Aaah he says.

Relax I says.

He sat there the edge the bed a minute his face settling into a more easy look.

Well he says.

Just sit there steady a minute don’t be trying too much I says and he rolling his head round his shoulders. Don’t need to be rushing to have a shower you’re not that bad I says.

No he says. Then he says to me this, he says do you know where Grafton Street is.

Yes I do I says.

Good he says. He reached in his pocket his good hand and he had a bundle of money, must have been two three hundred euros.

Do you know where the Tommy Hilfiger store on Grafton Street is he says.

The what I says.

I heard there’s a Tommy Hilfiger store on Grafton Street he says.

Where did you hear that I says.

I asked someone he says.

Who I says.

Someone on the street before meeting you he says.

You were fucking dying taking a turn I says and you ask someone where the fucking, I couldn’t remember the name of the place.

Tommy Hilfiger store he says. It’s a clothes shop. A big operation he says.

I says the only fucking operation you should have been worried about is the one they done on your hand.

Here he says giving me the money. Get me a long sleeve polo shirt large size. Blue or white or black or brown but don’t get pink. And get me a pair of jeans not too loose at the ankles make sure. They do smart ones Tommy Hilfiger he says. I’m a thirty six waist thirty four in the leg.

Want me to get anything else with this money I says.

He reached in his pocket again pulled out another fifty.

Take this too in case he says.

Will I go down there now I says.

Whenever he says. Oh listen he says. Will you look out for something else for me. Will you see about getting me one of them wire camp beds. I wouldn’t want to be throwing you out of your own bed. And I’m too sick to sleep on the floor he says.

This was too much to be hearing, I had to get out now, I had to do some thinking about all this.

I went for the door I says Arthur.

Yes he says.

Nothing I says. Then I says no I’ll just say this.

I smacked the frame of the door my back to him.

What he says.

I turned I says I’ll talk to you when I get back.

He says why you talking to your Uncle Arthur like that.

I stopped again I says no just tell me this. Tell me this. Are you worried about me kicking you out on the street. Because you can tell me you know. You can tell me the truth I says.

He says aren’t you after getting awful big.

He looked at me.

I didn’t say nothing, then goodbye I says.

4 (#ulink_3184c0e8-bc89-57a2-8ce8-5a64c9357ba4)

Judith said to me to write because I am literate but I did not think of anything to begin. I did not understand and the truth of it is I wanted to forget it. I wanted to walk out of her room. I said I did not like the smell of coffee because I did not like coffee to drink. She said there was no smell of coffee because she was not allowed bring coffee in that room, she said that that was the smell of rotted paper. She said we could go in another room. The other room was brighter and had newer books and like the first room it had the marks of wood pressed in the concrete. She laughed at me she said I had more interest in the building than anything. Maybe that’s your calling was the word she used. I said it to her I should have built buildings. She said no that she meant I should have designed them.

Then we started again. Would you like to talk to me she says.

About what I says.

Look she says and she took me and brought me the way we came. We went in a room beside the first one we were in. The books were bigger but they were brown and again I thought about the smell of coffee.