The Little Book Café

Tash warmed to her. She’d thought the girl was a bit of a milksop when she first met her but she came alive at the mention of books. ‘I’m sure that will go down well.’

The cheers from the crowds on the beach told them something was beginning to happen and a roar of planes swooping in low over the cliffs behind them, followed by trails of coloured smoke, told them the Red Arrows had arrived.

Chapter 21 (#ulink_e319625d-3768-50f9-b307-8e52bd3d99e6)

Kit accompanied Tash and Benji back along the prom. The crowds were gradually dispersing but there was still a buzz about the place. Cars inched along the road, heading out of town, windows down, music blaring.

‘I love it when it’s like this,’ Tash said. ‘All happy faces and suntan lotion, buckets and spades and sandy feet on the prom.’

Kit scuffed his feet through a puddle of sand on the hot concrete. ‘Certainly half the beach along here. Have you always lived in Berecombe?’

‘Yes. Berecombe born and bred. I couldn’t ever imagine living away from the sea.’

He followed her gaze to the sea, a vividly deep blue, glistening in the hot sunshine. ‘I take your point.’

‘What about you?’ Tash steered Benji past a yappy dachshund. He was getting tired after his long walk, and grumpy.

‘Oh, lived all over the place. Grew up in Bristol, trained in London, ended up here.’

Tash looked up at him. He wasn’t giving much away. ‘And no girlfriends or wives lurking in any of those places?’ She bit her lip, horrified that the question had slipped out.

‘I was married once. Briefly. A long time ago.’ He flashed a grin at Tash. ‘All ended amicably I’m happy to say and she’s now living in the States with her new husband.’ He laughed. ‘And much happier.’

‘What happened?’ Benji dragged her to a bin where he sniffed with interest. Tash leaned against the railings separating the prom from the beach below, letting the dog explore. She lifted her face to the sun, drinking it in. It really had been the most glorious summer. Then she realised what she’d asked. ‘I’m so sorry. That was nosy.’

Kit joined her, his shoulder resting companionably against hers. ‘It’s not rude at all. Just curious. We met when we were dental students. Rushed into something too young too soon. I think Melanie was fully-formed at twenty-two but I most certainly wasn’t. She’s still a friend and having a lovely life with another dentist. Howard is a great bloke.’

‘You’re very calm about life, aren’t you?’ Tash wasn’t sure how she felt about Kit having an ex-wife somewhere. She knew she had no right to be jealous but she was. Great swooping waves of jealousy filled her. She stamped down on them. ‘You’re very—’ she searched for the right word ‘—zen, aren’t you?’

Kit laughed. ‘Am I? I suppose I am. Takes a lot to get me riled.’

Tash turned and leaned her elbows on the railings behind her. She held her hair out of her eyes and looked at him. ‘Tell me then, Kit Oakley, what gets you riled?’

He scuffed his feet again, maybe embarrassed. ‘Oh, I don’t know. Injustice, cruelty, unfairness. That sort of thing.’ He looked up and locked gaze. ‘I hate to see animals mistreated. And I hate to see people unhappy.’ Reaching out a hand, he put it on her arm. ‘I hate to see you unhappy, Tash.’

‘What makes you think I’m unhappy?’ It came out as a strangled whisper. His touch was hot on her bare skin. She longed to tell him everything. Ached for the comfort of his strong hold. For the feel of his body on hers. He was very close. She was mesmerised by his mouth and the urgent need to kiss it. The crowds melted away. There was only her and Kit and the hot sun drilling down. The moment crystallised. She reached forward and gave in to impulse. His lips were firm and warm and welcoming and she wanted to drink him in.

She leaped back, appalled at what she’d allowed herself to do.

Scrubbing a hand across her mouth, she shook her head in a desperate attempt to clear it. ‘I’ve got nothing to be unhappy about,’ she said through clenched teeth. ‘I’ve got everything I’ve always wanted. A gorgeous house, a good job, a great boyfriend.’

Kit stared at her intently. ‘Who are you trying to convince, Tash?’ he said. ‘Me or yourself?’ He took his hand away and Tash shivered, despite the hot sun. ‘You put on a front. All brittleness and confidence,’ he went on in a hoarse voice. ‘You keep telling us how great your life is but you’re far too thin and you’ve got shadows under your eyes. You look haunted, Tash. You look like you’re being eaten alive.’ He ignored her gasp of horror. ‘You know, you can always come to me if you need to.’

‘How dare you!’ Tash spluttered. ‘What right have you to say that?’ She pulled herself up. ‘You hardly know me.’ She turned to go but Kit put out a hand to stop her.

‘You’re right, I hardly know you but I see what I see. You look like you could do with a friend, Natasha Taylor the estate agent. And when you do, I’ll be there.’

Tash wrenched her arm away. How could she have kissed him? And now he felt he had the right to say these horrible things to her. She’d let him get too close. He’d seen too much and she hated it. ‘I’ve got friends,’ she spat. ‘Plenty of them. I’ve got a boyfriend waiting for me. I don’t need you. I’ll never need you because, Kit, unlike you with your donkeys for company, I’ve got the perfect life.’ A shudder rippled through her. ‘And now, if you’d let me, I’d quite like to get back to it.’ She stomped off, bumping into a family with a Labrador on the way. The dogs’ leads got entangled for a moment, thoroughly spoiling her attempt at a dramatic exit. When she’d freed Benji she looked back to where Kit stood. He’d gone.

Chapter 22 (#ulink_2ed7164e-c562-555d-a1b2-1408a58860ab)

‘Where have you been?’ An ashen-faced Adrian met her at the door. He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it sticking up on end. ‘I’ve been worried sick.’

‘I took Benji out for a walk. Didn’t you hear me? I shouted where I was going.’

‘I didn’t hear anything, Natasha. I had my music on. You’ve been gone for hours, darling.’ He followed her as she took an exhausted Benji through to the utility room and gave him some water. ‘I tried your mobile but you had it switched off. Natasha, I insist you stop fussing over that dog and talk to me!’

‘I told you where I was going, Ade. I didn’t hear any music playing when I left.’ Tash blew her fringe off her hot face. She was in no mood to deal with Adrian.

‘Well, of course not.’ Adrian huffed irritably. ‘I had headphones on.’

‘Not much I could have done to make you hear, then.’

‘You could have come into the study. I was really worried, Natasha.’

Tash felt the burn of Kit’s kiss on her lips. ‘Yes, I could have done. Sorry.’ She was exhausted. Still smarting from Kit’s words, she didn’t want an argument with another man and hadn’t the energy for a mental dance around Adrian’s moods. A pang of guilt shot through her. ‘Look on the bright side, I’ve walked Benji further than he’s been in years so he’ll sleep like a baby tonight.’ She took his arm and led him through to the kitchen. ‘How about we make do with a pizza tonight? I’ll make a nice salad and we can open a bottle of Rioja. Have a lazy night in front of the TV.’

Adrian smiled, mollified. ‘That sounds good.’ He took her by the arms. ‘I’m sorry I get so het up. It’s just that I love you so much. I worry about you.’ He wrapped her in his arms. ‘I want to know where you are every minute of the day. Every second. Every millisecond.’

‘I don’t know what you think might happen to me in Berecombe, Ade.’ She tensed for his reaction then, to her relief, felt a ripple of a laugh go through him.

‘I know. I’m a silly old man.’ He kissed her. ‘Did you see the Red Arrows go over? Did they frighten the dog?’

Tash disentangled herself. She hunted in the dresser for a couple of glasses, hiding her burning face behind the cupboard door. Guilt gnawed at her insides. Why couldn’t she just tell him the truth? That she’d bumped into friends and watched the display with them. And then had launched herself at one of them and kissed him. She screwed up her eyes. ‘Yes, I had a good view of the planes. They were fantastic as usual. Be an angel and fetch a bottle of wine from the garage, will you? I forgot to get a new one out.’

Adrian came to her again. He kissed her cheek. ‘Honestly, what would you do if you didn’t have me to look after you? You can be so disorganised sometimes.’ He went out humming, happy to be useful.

Tash went to the window and looked out at the garden. She clung onto the icy sides of the Belfast sink, willing the cold porcelain to shock her senses. She and Adrian had spent weeks finding just the right one and even longer hunting down the taps to go with it. This kitchen was her pride and joy. She took immense pleasure in the black granite work surfaces, in the state of the art NEFF oven, in the gadgets that she and Adrian had collected but rarely had time to use. He loved her. He really loved her. Look at what they’d created together. Then why was it now flawed? If she was able to kiss another man, to contemplate going much further, then what was the future for her and Adrian? Thoughts of Kit filled her. Consumed her. The very core of her being ached for him. She hardly knew Kit and yet he’d managed to sum her up after a few weeks’ acquaintance. She concentrated on her breathing then splashed cold water over her face. This was her life. Her perfect life. This house and Adrian was all she’d ever wanted. And it was no longer enough. Adrian was no longer enough.

When he returned she greeted him with a smile.

The evening passed companionably. Adrian had drawn the line at the dog coming into the sitting room. When Benji woke them in the middle of the night howling, Adrian was too stupefied by wine, an Americano and a bout of vigorous sex to complain too much.

After seeing to the dog, Tash lay wide awake, staring at the ceiling. She didn’t know herself any more.

Chapter 23 (#ulink_6ae2f639-71ac-5d47-9212-c260222d8b6f)

‘Oh, hello Benji,’ Emma crooned. She got up to help Tash with the dog bed. ‘We’ll put you just here, shall we?’ She took the bed off Tash and put it in the back corner of the office. Bending down she stroked his ears. ‘You won’t be any trouble at all, will you?’

‘Do you think this will be alright?’ Tash flung her briefcase onto her desk and went through to the kitchen to stow Benji’s supplies. ‘It doesn’t look very professional. Having a dog in the workplace, I mean,’ she shouted through. ‘Adrian said it might lose us clients.’

‘I think it makes us look friendlier,’ Emma replied, stoutly. ‘Besides, Berecombe’s known to be dog-friendly and all the tourists come in with theirs. If anyone is really bothered we can always put him in the kitchen.’

‘Poor Benji. He’s being pushed from pillar to post. He had us up both nights at the weekend. He’s just not used to sleeping on his own. Mum lets him sleep on her bed.’

‘And I expect Adrian won’t tolerate that.’

‘No need to be snippy.’ Tash returned and collapsed onto her chair. ‘You’re right though. Ade won’t hear of Benji being anywhere in the house apart from the garden and the utility. He must be so lonely. Mum dotes on him, spoils him rotten.’ The little dog trotted up to her and rested his nose on her knee. ‘I’d live at Mum and Dad’s while they’re away but Adrian won’t hear of it.’