The Devil’s Punchbowl

‘That’s easy. Annie.’

‘Touché. You’re right, of course.’ She looks back toward the carnival lights beside Rosalie, brushes the black veil of hair away from her face. ‘This feels strange. So familiar, and yet…I don’t know. You don’t seem quite yourself.’ She tilts her head and tries to penetrate the time that hovers between us like an invisible shield. ‘Is it just me? Or is something really wrong?’

‘What are you doing here, Caitlin?’

Her eyes narrow. ‘I told you. Working a story.’

‘A New Orleans story?’

She glances away for the briefest of moments. ‘There might be a Natchez angle.’

Before I can ask about this, a male voice cries her name twice in quick succession. ‘ There you are!’ says the newcomer, a handsome man of thirty-five who disengages from the chaos with some difficulty. He has a bohemian look–bohemian chic might be more accurate–and he clasps Caitlin’s right hand in both of his. ‘I’ve been looking all over for you. I ended up down at the stage, talking to some gospel singers. They’re fantastic!’

Caitlin casually extricates her hand and introduces me as the mayor of Natchez. The bohemian’s name is Jan something.

‘Jan’s doing a documentary on the Danziger Bridge incident.’

‘Bridge massacre,’ Jan corrects, as though quoting the title of the film.

On the Danziger lift bridge in New Orleans, four white cops responding to an ‘officer down’ call received sniper fire from a group of black men, returned fire, and killed two of them. The black group later contended that they had been unarmed. As with so much of what happened in the first days of Katrina’s flood, no one has yet been able to ascertain what really transpired. ‘I’m sure they’ll eat that up in Park City,’ I say with a brittle Chamber of Commerce smile.

Jan draws back in momentary confusion, and Caitlin looks startled. I usually cover my emotions better than this, but tonight I just don’t give a damn.

‘You guys have fun. I need to find my daughter.’

And with that I’m away from them. I couldn’t have stood much more, and that knowledge frightens me. Yet as I walk through the festival gate, making for the flashing neon above the rides grouped on the bluff, it’s not heartache that preoccupies me, but some of Caitlin’s last words: working a story…. There might be a Natchez angle.

As improbable as it seems, I wonder if she’s somehow picked up the rumors of dogfighting, prostitution, and illicit drugs surrounding the Magnolia Queen. A word from one of her local reporters would be enough to pique her interest, and every facet of that story would engage her. If Caitlin does have reporters working that story, she might well elide it from any conversation with me. At one time we told each other everything. But as our relationship wore on, we found that the professions of lawyer and journalist–even novelist and journalist–gave us separate agendas where privileged information was concerned, and that led to conflict.

Thirty yards ahead, I glimpse the familiar rounded line of Libby’s shoulders, and a blade of guilt pierces me. Though we’ve officially ended our intimate relationship, it would hurt her to learn that a few moments with Caitlin affected me so deeply. As I near Libby, Annie and a friend cannonball through the exit of the Space Walk and roll squealing onto the ground beside her. Only now do I remember that I need someone to stay with Annie while I’m out on tonight’s midnight rendezvous. There’s little chance of getting a high school sitter this late on a balloon-race Friday; I’ll have to ask my mother to spend the night at my house.

‘You’ve been gone awhile,’ Libby says with a shadow of suspicion.

‘They had a lot of questions about Katrina,’ I say in an offhand voice.

‘We want to ride the Tilt-A-Whirl!’ Annie and her friend scream in unison.

I’m hesitant to be alone with Libby, but she nods quickly and they set off for the Tilt-A-Whirl at a run.

‘I saw an old flame of yours earlier,’ Libby says, her eyes boring into mine with uncomfortable intensity. ‘Was she there for the interview?’

‘One of a dozen or so.’

Libby sucks her lips between her teeth and looks pointedly off into the crowd.

‘Have you seen Soren yet?’ I ask.

‘No. I guess Caitlin heard we broke up.’

‘She didn’t mention it.’

Libby tries to suppress a tight smile of judgment or envy. ‘She wouldn’t.’

‘Did Annie see her?’

‘I don’t think so.’

‘Libby…we knew there were going to be some awkward times, but—’

‘Don’t,’ she says quickly. ‘You don’t have to apologize. It’s not even unexpected. I’m just surprised to see her this fast. But I guess I shouldn’t be. Caitlin’s been a quick study all her life.’

I stifle a sigh and turn toward the Tilt-A-Whirl, where Annie and her friend spin through the air, trailing green and fuchsia light.

When I look back again, Libby is gone. Then I catch sight of her moving through the crowd toward the Tilt-A-Whirl. I follow, but time my arrival to coincide with Annie’s disembarking from the ride.

‘Should we look for Soren?’ I ask halfheartedly.

‘Sure,’ Annie says. ‘I haven’t seen him yet.’

Libby forces a smile and pats her in the small of the back. ‘Oh, he’s with his older friends. You guys go have some fun. I need to get back and let the dogs out.’

This patent lie brings another rush of guilt, but there’s nothing to be done other than to let things take their course.

Libby bends, hugs Annie, then gives my wrist a quick squeeze and musters an almost genuine smile. With an awkward wave she turns and joins the flow of the crowd.

Annie stares solemnly after her diminishing figure, as though watching the departure of a family member she might never see again. After Libby disappears, Annie turns and looks up with wide eyes. ‘Daddy, I saw Caitlin here.’

A strange numbness fills me, slowing my responses. ‘Really? Where did you see her?’

‘She was talking to a man with a camera. She was far away, but I know it was her.’

I’m not sure how to respond, but I don’t like to lie to my daughter. ‘I saw her too, baby.’

Annie’s eyes widen still more. ‘Did you talk to her?’

‘She interviewed me a few minutes ago, with some other reporters.’

Annie nods slowly, taking this in. ‘I miss Libby, Dad.’

‘I do too.’

When no explanation follows, she says, ‘Did ya’ll break up?’

God, she’s perceptive. ‘What makes you ask that?’

‘I don’t know. Did you?’

I take Annie’s hand, then kneel and look into her eyes. ‘We did. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it first.’