When stones cry. Когда плачут камни

When stones cry. Когда плачут камни
Hanna Daysi

I had a happy childhood. I could live happy. But they took my happiness. They took my house. I put my heart in stone and started to kill, kill… But for you it was not enough. You took my memory, my parent’s graves. But I do not give up to.У меня было счастливое детство. Я могла бы жить счастливо. Но у меня забрали счастье. У меня забрали мой дом. Я одела свое сердце в камень. И начала убивать, убивать… Но вам и этого было мало. Вы забрали мою память – могилы моих родителей…

When stones cry

Когда плачут камни

Hanna Daysi

© Hanna Daysi, 2019

ISBN 978-5-4496-8401-1

Создано в интеллектуальной издательской системе Ridero

When stones cry

What is the secret of this old tower,

Which survived people and centuries?

Noble and powerful

The hand has conquered the stones.

We caressed the cold stones,

Heated hearth sore chest…

The symbol of the spirit is the Ingush tower,

Beacon illuminated the way.

She did not fall mad

Not bent your stone camp.

Only quietly moaned in the wind,

When they were driving people to Kazakhstan.

And when we returned home,

Like a gentle, kind mother,

Gathering children at the foot,

To tell your grief…

There are graves in faraway Bishkek…

It is heavy, chilly in them to all mothers.

Dear them more often Ingush tower,

Sing to them the song of running stream.

Chases us to rock a hell of a circle..

How many were there in our fate!!!!

We put our hearts in stones

Having become like a tower.

Ingush Tower

Written by Maryam Lyanova.

My name is Dasy what means from my relative Ingush language «honor of fathers». I am explaining this for you because I have some doubts about the fact that you are Ingush, but you say that you are. I don’t think that you are the part of my nation. I want to tell you that I lived in the real castle when I was young. Even in not simple castle, in the whole castle complex, with defensive, residential, combat towers, with a barrier wall. It calls «Aegi Chozh» and it is located in my native Ingushetia near village Dattih. Do you remember? Yes. This is the castle complex that you sold on the twenty-sixth on September in 2018 to the governor of the Kremlin in Chechnya. I want to tell you about it, about that piece of land, about life and pain of my native, not small mental emotions. For what? Answer is simple: I understood that you don’t know me, you don’t know them, and you don’t know any misery which we suffered from. I want to tell you that stones cry when they see how the heart of a tied father breaks, unable to bear the scene, how their son is slaughtered, and how these stones groan when they were burned alive and buried alive. And also I want to tell how people turn into walking stones. I want to tell this story beginning with my young years. The first childhood memory that pops up in my head is my decade (1930). I turned 10 years old on day of the murder of governor of the Kremlin in Ingushetia (at the time – the Ingush Autonomous Region) – Chernoglaz. He had not got any difference from you. He impassively hurt and insulted Ingush old man’s feelings by telling him that will make him personally breed pigs. That evening, Joseph Chernoglaz was beheaded. The Chernoglaz’s head was not found and he was buried without it. In the court, the Ingush who made revenge refused to answer the question about where is the Chernoglaz’s head is. He just told that Chernoglaz had not got head, otherwise he would not have told the Ingush that he will make them breed pigs. On that fateful day, a large number of Ingush were sent to Kolyma as state traitors. At that moment I did not understand anything, I did not feel the whole grief of their wounded and humiliated people, their suffering and overcoming. In those times shooting a rifle seemed to me a fun and activity that allows you to escape from the hassle and useless thoughts. My brothers and I often came across a forest in which they taught me how to hit the target and climb mountains. It was a happy time, no one had any thoughts about a difficult future, no one thought about it at all – we didn’t want to plunge into hard thoughts.

When I was 15 years old I participated in shooting competitions, according to the latter even received a discharge.

If I or my family knew how useful it would be for me …but neither I nor they knew anything. In that time I couldn’t even think that my hobby will turn into killing real people. I continued to do my hobby, study, and read a lot of information about Lenin and Stalin. I admired this person and thought that exactly Lenin made all people equal to each other, exactly Stalin is the father of nations. At the same time in the Ingush society flight excitement against the union with Chechnya but I absolutely did not understand why adults so zealously refused possibility of unite with brotherly native. I often looked at the map of Ingushetia and USSR, I just wanted to understand what will be if it would happen. It seemed for me that nothing, just it will be better for all people. It turned out that old men who were against were seers. They said: there must be a fence between the brothers and each of them should have his own. …but in 1934 we were united. And now I want you look at the map which I drew by using my memory as well as I remember it. Do you remember that you argued that this land in which located my lovely house, my castle, the graves of my relatives never was Ingush? If conscience allow look with attention and tell right now that my house wasn’t my. I will not depart from the story. I want to tell you about how happy I was, how colorful was my life at the beginning, and how people with epaulettes as you took it away. Particular, the one who sat in the Kremlin – Stalin. At the day of my seventeenths birthday (1937) I conquered Elbrus. I will never forget how I stayed on the top and I was inspire and full of happiness, O was relaxed, and near me – my lovely person. I don’t think that you can understand my feelings. Anyone who is not able to penetrate the native land, and people will never penetrate. When I stayed on the top I was feeling myself like eagle. Wings grew from my shoulder blades, and I rushed over the world and understood that all my efforts were not in vain. Standing on the top of mountain I understood how small can be land from bird flight’s destination. And I thought about my native Ingushetia. It always was for me like a world, and from the top of Elbrus I understood that compared to the whole of the Earth, this is just a small island. Island which I really loved and wanted to see from such high. And it even seemed to me that I see it, there, far, far away. But in my 17 I did not know that that I will be pushed away from my native land at a distance far greater than the height of Elbrus that I conquered. I met my lover in shooting competitions, where I received first place, and Byrd – second. My heart was beating madly and almost jumped out of my chest when he came up to congratulate me with victory. I was ready to give up this first place and everything in the world, so that he always stood by his side and burned with his green eyes the very soul. I still remember how they sparkled, as if echoing gentle words. «You are so Beautiful…". I was able to read them in his lips, because I did not hear anything from the obsession, simple, but such a strong girlish love.

At the all next competitions we took part in it with hope meet each other. We understand that we do not want to live alone and we married soon. It is not possible to describe hat happiness which I felt. When I once went outside, I tried to breathe air. It seemed to me so pure, infinitely light and inspiring that it seemed to me for a moment that I was flying in the clouds. My young girl’s amorousness turned into big and it could be called really love. Byrd never leaved me and we walked on out native land and I heard how stoned were laughing with us. It was a beautiful, heavy, and carefree laugh, just like ours. Until this moment I did not thought that stones can be such alive. But I heard it, it was the real laughing! And I no longer looked at the stones as something inanimate, as if they became friends for me. Sooner I understood. I was surprised at this for nothing, because my happiness was enjoying the land of my homeland with me. Those same stones laughed at it. They laughed at it voice! I was the best partworker, always the first, as Byrd- always in good standing. We are the ideal Soviet family. Later we born a ball of happiness with pink heels who we called Cha-Borz (in translation – wolf bear). In the same year, the Great Patriotic War began. I visited military registration and enlistment office and asked for go to war without any doubts. I got refuse but I proved that I am a good sniper. But words couldn’t help me. A year later, the enemy has already overtaken the city of Malgobek. Byrd and I took part in the defense, leaving year-old Cha-Borz and his mother. Everything ended successfully – the enemy was abandoned by Malgobek. If it were not for the cooperation of the Ossetians with the Germans, they could probably cope several times faster. But what difference does it make if we have already won a small one, but still a victory? I felt an extraordinary pride that exploded in a flash of pleasant heat in my chest. I breathed deeply and realized that, despite the strength of the enemy, we were able to overcome everything and protect our land. Looking at my comrades, I looked into their eyes and smiled, knowing that they, too, could not hold back their joy. Each of us was proud of each other, for himself and everyone who helped this happen. After this battle I and my husband were awarded. We were happy and glad to serve our homeland faithfully. Byrd was took on the front-frank in this year too. I remember how I steadfastly conducted him without any tears but I will not lie – I suffered crazy pain of separation. I convinced myself that Byrd needs homeland more than me however, fear for him and for us prevailed over me and all my feminine nature. Time by time beloved sent me letters from the front and I read it for my son. And so… I got to the fateful date, the twenty-third of February 1944 is the date from which my life was divided into «before» and «after.» I was called to the regional party committee on the twenty-second of February they gave me a permit for unimpeded movement and asked to agitate the people not to resist exile. I was assured that they would evict only traitors. It was given special task -agitate the nearest villages. Just in case I asked sniper rifle and climbing equipment and I got consent. In the end, they trusted me one hundred percent. I calmed my mother-in-law, saying that I would go back home, put the child to bed and went on a journey at night, somewhere in the hour. This night – twenty-third of February, 1944. Remember, I only stepped on the mountain being in way about one hour and I heard sounds and screams from side of village. I was not be slow and did not think about anything which is not means. I ran really fast forgetting how much time it can take again. It makes no sense to describe the panic which mastered my body at return. My house was empty. My and other, only the noise of cars leaving away was heard in the distance. I instantly saddled a horse and rushed after it. I did not catch up with the car, but I arrived at the nearest station, where my nation people were loaded into cattle cars. Using the case, I ran from railway carriage to railway carriage and looked for son, mother-in-law. I screamed, almost yelled, called them, but the crying of thousands of women and children interrupted everything. They, like ordinary cattle, were loaded into cold, unheated cars. And then – just like in a dream. I remembered only the words of some old man who shouted at those who were crying. «Calm down, we will not be taken to where there is no Allah!» -it was his instruction. The unhappy people calmed down, the districts plunged into complete silence… I remember how they pushed me away from the railway carriage, and then – the sound of wheels and nothing more. A void arose in my chest, and I put my hand on my heart, trying to at least somehow occupy it. But instead, I felt something moving away from me, flowing through my fingers like sand. The confusion turned into a burning stunned, and misunderstanding in the very present impotence. Not believing that I lost my son and mother-in-law, I tried to say something, to call for help, but I could not. The last thing I did was to glance somewhere on the railroad and noticed how the metal silhouette of the train disappeared. I woke up because I was shaking by the shoulders. The secret companion was my colleague, part worker Ivan. Also he was friend of our family. Let’s go Dasy, the political party needs you» – he whispered, I did not understand what he meant. And through some minutes I felt terrible insight- l have mother and brothers, maybe I can still protect them. I have not seen Ivan anymore. And I did not want to see him because I was stifled by envy and I hated people who had whole families. I remember how pushed up Ivan, jumped to the horse and after a few seconds rushed to the castle in which my mother live and after a few seconds rushed to the castled. I felt crazy horror when I crossed Fortange (river) but I had a hope and moved on. I haven’t got the habit to give up. Even in such hard time I believed – there is the road which leads forward. … But if in my house I was met only by emptiness, the castle ««Aegi Chozh» was not empty. Is it happiness? By no means. It was full of corpses. My dear mother, the most gentle and kind woman in the world, the one to whom I owe my life, lay with a broken head and hugged my younger brother, whose body was riddled with bullets. He was not taken to the front because of his age. I don’t remember whether I was crying or howling, whether I was tearing off my nails on hard crumbs. Only the earth was incredibly hard to dig when she dug it to bury them. I first thought about what the first pain is. Looking around at the onset of tension, I could not understand why I could hear this deafening silence. And then I glanced at the stones. They were all silent but waited for the moment to mourn those who are now buried in the ground. To mourn in silence without tears and with a groan which is only heard by them. Two my brothers were on the front and their families lived apart. One – in Jeyrakh, the second – in the Prigorodny district. By an inhuman effort of will, I convinced myself that at least everything was fine with them, buried mother and younger brother, and then rushed off to Jayrah. When I manager to get there, I saw people from the mountain and felt a shine of spark of hope- it means that there are alive people, and there are not empty and corpses like in other villages. For joy (could I still experience joy?…) I rushed faster until I did not noticed chord of people which was led towards Hamhi. When I managed to get there, I saw people from the mountain and felt a spark of hope shine somewhere inside – it means that there are living things here, and not emptiness and corpses, as in other settlements. For joy (could I still experience joy?) rushed faster, until she noticed how a crowd of people were led towards Hamhi. «They were certainly arrested and taken somewhere for detention… But at least they are alive, they are alive!» – I thought so when I called my daughter-in-law, nephews. People were too far away, nobody heard me and nobody answered. The village disappeared out of sight of the trees, when I came down from the mountain, spurred my horse and rushed after people at full speed. Oh, Allah, what I saw then… T

he burning building, the people burning alive… In an inhuman panic, rushed to the door, but I was ruthlessly pushed away. Through the buzz in my ears I heard only: «Go away, if you do not want to share their fate with them.» I was saved because of my pass. I climbed the mountain, no longer thinking at all about anything, took off the sniper rifle tied to my horse and began in the mad pleasure of shooting everyone I saw in the convoy near the burning building. I laughed harshly, just to drown out the torment, with eyes blind from behind the wind watching the burning fire, and then for a long time I searched for nephews and daughter-in-law. I could not understand who is who in this pile of burnt bodies. Not despair, but intoxicating anger seized me. Bloodthirsty madness seized me. I did not want to cry, but wanted to break the world in half, turn everything upside down. I writhed on the ground and trying to understand what was going on. I banged my head against the stones, trying to wake up. But I did not wake up. Somewhere, deep in my chest, a wild emptiness has long grown, which did not allow me to become the same, and who will remain as such after what happened?.. Later, I learned that they simply forgot to send the dead, but were afraid to tell Stalin about it and decided to just burn it.

In that time I still believed that Stalin did not know anything – I remember how I ran in the city to give the telegraph. I sincerely hoped that he would take action and punish all people who are guilty. I gave telegraph with the mark «The lighting» and waited the answer. It took time to recover and to go to the suburban area without any hope. I repeated myself that maybe my brother’s family survived, they cannot disappear all at once. It would be unfair! But in this I believed little. At the entrance to the village, I immediately had a chance to see a lot of people who rushed from side to side with things. I did not immediately understand that they were Ossetian marauders and Ingush neighbors. My brother’s house remained as before: each thing laid in its place, nothing changed, only in the middle of the room his Ossetian neighbor, Soslan, stood in a businesslike manner. So he stopped dead in motion when he saw me. At that moment, I desperately regretted that my rifle was tied to the stake – having seen it, the man began to shout and call other people for help. I had to run away before they got caught me. I returned to «Aegi Chozh». There still wasn’t any soul. If you close single entrance then the path to the gorge became cut off, and so I was safe. As soon as I took to the top of the battle tower and took up the position from which I saw the world around, then… I wept. I cried tearfully, in a voice, so loud that it rang in my ears. Have you ever heard stones cry? Hardly, because they cry only in answer. So I heard. They cried and moaned with me. I felt the pain of gray mountains and inaccessible rocks. They wept because they were deprived of their children. Once I heard the stones laugh at me in response, they rejoice in my happiness with my husband… With the dawn there was a decision to find Israilov’s squard. He was accused of treason and for a long time he had been hiding in mountains, where he was exactly- it was unknown. I remember how I managed to find Abrek Akhmed Khuchbarov, Magomed Idrisov, became connected between them. Real patriots of their fatherland, unshakable representatives of the all-Caucasian national liberation movement of the thirties and forties years. There are not impostors, not bandits. I do not know how it happened, but dear comrades handed a letter about my location to Byrd, and after a while he joined us. How to describe our meeting with Byrd? I think it is meaningless. I felt alive, not desperate, not beaten, not wounded mentally again. I sincerely thanked Allah for the fact that he saved my husband. And our common struggle has begun. In Sharo-Argun we had a chance to test our own spirit for a fortress once again. Byrd and I learned that in the early morning a cart with three Chekists, who had hidden something in the straw, left the village of Sharo-Argun in Hima. On horseback, on the faithful racers, we managed to outrun travelers-strangers when they passed the Dai farm, and at the bridge near the Kiri farm they presented General Tseretelli’s passes to them. «Hands up!» Barked so loudly that the security officer got scared, rolled out of the wagon and crawled under it in an attempt to hide. In vain. Officer Viktorov wanted to pull the gun out of his holster, but only he could not – his fingers were trembling. I had to help him. I treacherously don’t remember name of the sergeant who squeezed the reins in my hands, and raised them too. He fought and swore like he would never fight with a peaceful people. It was out quite convincingly, and he was released by us, having heard at the end: «Go, friend, home, to your mother». A little later, the lady chekist, when she already came to her senses, clung to my legs from the wagon because there was ice on the roads and I slipped and fell down. I remember how Lieutenant Viktorov took advantage of our confusion, brazenly jumped out and rushed under the bridge, but Byrd shot out of the gun and struck him cleanly. I used my dagger when I fought off the security officer – I used it without a twinge of conscience, without any fear whatsoever. I saw so much horror when I saw it with my own eyes …The sergeant who was released by us has already managed to cross the bridge. He just looked back and closed up arms over head like he thanks us or felt solidarity, it is not clear… In our hands was leaved the package sealed with wax seals, with a «top secret order» and other equally valuable instructions including leaflets with calls for the population to surrender to the winner.

Sometimes I forgot about this feeling which pulls and breaks me from the inside and remind me death pain due to my husband and my passion. I was forgotten, I allowed my thoughts to disappear. And I allowed myself – sometimes to experience real idle fun. Thanks in large part to my husband, even there I could take the time to take a deep breath and feel a second wind. I would probably break like a dry branch without this. During the day, I did not think about Cha-Borze, about my mother, my brother, about a burning building with people – they all came to me at night …In that time spring was at the full swing, the sun was scorching, sometimes the warm wind lashed cheeks. But just around- complete ruin. Orphaned domestic animals whined, cows mooed, sheep bleated, and the dogs went out of their voices the loudest. The carts cracked when Ossetian marauders took out the loot from already empty houses and shouted triumphantly. They did not worry about anything, shamelessly rejoiced, profited from other people’s misfortunes and drove their own horses. I, Byrd and other people managed to detain ten such bad guys. We shooted over their heads and warned them – at the next time we will get right on target, not in the air. I remember how frighted marauders fell to their knees, pounded themselves in the chest, promised that they would never again be in a strange land. Our shots were heard by enkawedes who were walking around. They flew at us with weapons, and there were many of them, and there were only four of us – Bird, Abubakar Bahoev, and Yahya Mamedov. I had only carbines and binoculars with us. We had to shoot at random and run away but only we did not even notice how we were surrounded on three sides and led to abyss. Nothing did not afraid me – the main thing is that I am not alone, I am with my relative person. I was terribly worried about him. And we did not prevent the abyss because we had equipment for climbers with us, in the hearts – a pinch of unshakable courage. We descended quickly without problems and we were laughing for a long time in our thoughts while the unlucky opponents tried to crawl awkwardly along the slopes. I took the binoculars, the carbine and climbed the summit that dominated the farm, from where everything could be perfectly seen. And punitive screamed, loudly, ran to the attack. I admit, it was annoying to shoot everyone – there would be too many orphans left. Cruelty never prevailed over me to the end, and the terrible pain that had to be experienced from time to time at the recollection of crazy spectacles did not win. Prudence – yes, I did not part with it. That is why it became through binoculars to look out for officers, alas, there was no sniper rifle and it would have been easier with it. But I managed! Handled! As soon as I noticed the enemy – a shot. Collapsed down. I do not watch the lifeless body, but look out for the next one. And a shot again! Killed. So I did this! Adrenaline flowed like hot metal through my veins, and I will never forget this heat. From every new enemy falling through the «Aegi Chozh», I felt the approaching victory. At that time, I still did not understand that this is a system that neither my people nor my officers like you have is sorry for, it sacrifices everything for its own sake, for the sake of the commander-in-chief’s ego. Here are just barely we managed to exhale, as the horsemen came. They began to storm the hut, where my friends were hiding. We heard shot from three carbines and the three enemies fell from their horses in this moment. I remember I was looking through binoculars and saw a new officer and immediately picked it up. And how it all ended I noticed Byrd with affection in his eyes, who was waving a palm below me, say, come on, get off. Only I was going to follow his request, more and reinforcements arrived. But this time lucky, no attack followed. I went down to my friends, taking advantage of the lull, and those were about to roll up and leave. And again shots rang out, bombing with grenades was heard. Bert cheerfully said: «Art preparation, getting ready for the assault!» Together we crossed the gorge again and stepped onto a narrow path, and a few seconds later we saw an officer with two soldiers in front of us. We were equipped in military uniform, so the trio easily caught up with us and stopped. As they caught up, Abubakar slashed the officer with a blade in the face, after which the rest of the soldiers rushed scatteringly. And what do we need? We didn’t need them. Together with our comrades, we only picked up the abandoned weapon, removed the uniform with the documents of the senior state security lieutenant from the lifeless body and returned to our home base. For the time being, everything went smooth. I stopped repeat moments of my memory and did my job well together with my husband. Magomed Idrisov was the first person from our group who died. Opponents figured out his location when they tortured Sultan Mamedov. The shelter was surrounded, shooting began, and Magomed lost his hand… He could be saved, he could defend himself, but he sacrificed himself – he did not want the whole group to be killed along with him. He ordered to leave him alone in a small boulder. Hasan Israilov found out about this and immediately ordered me to help the poor thing. I never argued – on the same night I secretly made my way to the right place, and a few minutes later I tied up the wound on my shoulder to my friend and drank tea with honey. And he moaned from the terrible pain, but suffered, kept himself in check, only begged to load the weapon. Fell asleep when I raked up dry grass brought by me. How else to help – I sincerely did not know, bent over him and silently cried. It is mentally hard to lose comrades, even if from the very beginning it seemed as if you were not that close. I did not get used to losing… Then he woke up and began to shake me with a scream «Run, my darling! I hear the steps of my death, they are going!» It was enough to look around just once to see the security officers on the trail. I did not argue and silently ran to the cleft or the rock where I hid.