The Bad Book Affair

The Bad Book Affair
Ian Sansom

The Bad Book Affair features the magnificently hapless Israel Armstrong – the duffle-coat wearing, navel-gazing Jewish librarian who solves crimes, mysteries, and domestic problems whilst driving a mobile library around the north coast of Ireland.In The Bad Book Affair Israel finds himself on the verge of his thirtieth birthday and on the trail of a troubled missing teenager, the daughter of a local politician.Why has the young woman disappeared? Does it have something to do with Israel’s lending her A Clockwork Orange and Lady Chatterly’s Lover from the library’s special ‘Unshelved’ category? Will the young woman’s father run Israel out of town? How will Israel recover from his own break-up with his girlfriend, Gloria? And how exactly does a Jewish vegetarian celebrate his thirtieth birthday in Tumdrum? With a bacon scone?And will Israel and his irascible companion Ted ever agree about anything?

The Bad Book Affair

Ian Sansom

FOURTH ESTATE • London

For my correspondents,

with all due respect

Table of Contents

Cover (#u17317b7b-9ac1-54bd-b69a-a993713a5807)

Title Page (#uaa589111-b538-5f25-b93e-bc97f2f9c198)

Dedication (#ub6596cd0-a96d-51b8-854b-b632e3ea9c5f)

Chapter 1 (#ua351b60f-da1a-5825-a983-ce917928c89a)

Chapter 2 (#u43d09bed-5c96-5297-8505-76ca116e27c0)

Chapter 3 (#u62c7f187-44a8-5c65-8311-652cd5150216)

Chapter 4 (#u62102871-d8db-5327-bfda-75e4f49a15d5)

Chapter 5 (#ubbe2fcf0-400e-50cf-a392-c637d5f5c48b)

Chapter 6 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 7 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 8 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 9 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 10 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 11 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 12 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 13 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 14 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 15 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 16 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 17 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 18 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 19 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 20 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 21 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 22 (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter 23 (#litres_trial_promo)

Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)

Other Books By (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

1 (#ulink_25a8d2db-648f-55b7-afa0-3729ad9f3e9e)

‘Here we are, then,’ said George, opening the creaking, paint-flaking, hinge-rusted, wood-rotting brace-and-ledge door to the former chicken coop that was now home to Israel Armstrong (B.A., (Hons.)), certainly Tumdrum’s and possibly Ireland’s only English Jewish vegetarian mobile librarian.

‘The King of Siam,’ said Ted, striding in. ‘Let’s have a look at him, then.’

Israel lay on his metal-framed bed in the middle of the room, dirty quilt pulled up around him, broken-backed books everywhere, empty bottles of wine and Jumping Jack cider stacked around like giddy sentinels. A row of broad-shouldered peanut butter jars stood lined up on top of the rickety shelves next to the bed, staring down disapprovingly at the squalor below.

Israel raised his head wearily and dismissively from his book as George and Ted entered.

‘Quite a sight, eh?’ said George.

‘Ach, for goodness’ sake,’ said Ted.

‘Morning, Israel!’ said George.

Israel placed his index finger on the page of Infinite Jest that he was currently reading, and rereading, and rereading again, looked up at his visitors, returned to the book.

‘This what he’s been like the whole time, is it?’

‘Well, I only came across him last week,’ said George. ‘I was wondering why I hadn’t seen him for a while. He’d not been in the house and I hadn’t seen him leaving for work.’

‘Hmm,’ said Ted, going up to the end of the bed, like a doctor on his ward rounds. ‘What’s with the auld face-lace, then?’