The Family Man

Grimacing, Amy set her cup back on her desk with more force than necessary, sloshing brown liquid onto the polished mahogany surface. Disgusted, she reached for some tissue in her desk drawer and sopped up the mess. If she was this rattled before Bryan even started, how was she going to cope with his presence every day?

As she swiped at the puddle, her thoughts were as dark as the sodden tissue in her hand. In her gut, she felt this was a mistake. Yet, after interviewing all three candidates, it had been clear that Bryan was far and away the best qualified. After much soul searching, Amy had reconciled herself to offering him the freelance job. Then Heather had come to her with the news that one of their most-seasoned feature writers had turned in her resignation because her husband had been transferred. And she’d suggested that they combine that job with the freelance family-columnist position and offer it to Bryan, giving him a much higher income—and benefits.

Heather’s proposal had been logical. And short of admitting to her sister that she found Bryan’s presence disruptive, there had been no alternative but to tell her to extend an offer. Amy’s faint hope that Bryan would turn it down had been quickly dashed when he’d accepted the same day.

The good news was that she wouldn’t have to deal with him one-on-one. Heather would be his boss. The only time their paths would have to cross was at weekly staff meetings—like today. And once they got past the initial awkwardness, things would be fine, she reassured herself. It had just been a shock seeing him the first time. After all, she was an adult. She could cope with this. She ran a magazine, didn’t she? Dealt with dozens of crises every day? The reappearance of an old boyfriend shouldn’t cause too many problems. And if it did, she’d just plunge even more deeply into her work, which had provided a great refuge for her during the past eight years. If some thought she was a workaholic…well, so be it. Keeping busy had always helped her survive when life got crazy. Something it had been doing more and more in recent weeks.

As if to underscore that point, she caught sight of Tim barreling toward her, threading his way through the maze of cubicles that occupied most of the second floor. Tall, with dark, wavy hair and intense eyes, he looked like a man with a mission as he bore down on her. Considering how impeccable he always was about his custom-tailored clothing, the fact that his tie was a bit askew did not bode well. Now what? Amy wondered in dismay.

She didn’t have to wait long to find out. Tim strode into her office, shut the door, planted his fists on his hips and gave her a furious look. “Are you ready for this? Jeremy is leaving town.”

“What?” The shock on her face was echoed in her voice.

“You heard me. He’s going off to find his roots.” Sarcasm dripped off the last word.

“How do you know?”

“Mom called to tell me. He spoke with her last night before taking off for parts unknown.”

Struggling to remain calm, Amy tried for a reasonable tone of voice. “He’s upset, Tim. He’s angry, and he feels betrayed. How would you like to be told that your father isn’t your father? That the man who’s groomed you to be his successor, who you’ve loved with all your heart, isn’t even a blood relative?”

For a second, Tim’s anger dissipated. “Okay, I’ll admit it’s a tough break. But of all times to leave… Dad hasn’t even been out of isolation for that long. It’s still touch-and-go with the transplant, and he’s already worried about Hamilton Media. He doesn’t need any more stress.”

Amy thought about how pale her father looked each night when she stopped at the hospital to visit, his anxiety about the family business apparent as he plied her with questions. He was under more than enough pressure already. “I agree. So let’s not tell him.”

With a frustrated sigh, Tim raked his fingers through his hair. “That’s what Mom said.”

“She’s right.”

“Then who am I supposed to go to if I have a problem with the newspaper? Jeremy’s gone, and I can’t ask Dad without raising suspicion.” All at once, his shoulders slumped and his voice grew disheartened, reminding Amy of the little boy he had once been, always striving to compete with his older brother yet never able to live up to his own lofty standards. “I don’t want to mess things up and disappoint Dad.”

Because they were so much alike, Amy knew how much that admission had cost Tim. Both high achievers, both driven, both perfectionists, both always striving to please their father, neither had ever handled setbacks or failure well. And neither liked to expose any vulnerability, to show any sign of weakness. Through her faith, Amy had discovered that it was okay to admit that she didn’t have all the answers. And she’d found a way to temper her sometimes unrealistic expectations, to cut herself—and others—some slack. Tim hadn’t learned that lesson yet. She prayed that someday he would. In the meantime, he needed a pep talk.

“Things will work out, Tim,” she reassured him in a firm, quiet voice. “You’re smart and you’re conscientious. You’ll make this work. And you know you have the support of the whole family. We’ll help however we can. If we stick together, we’ll get through this. The Hamiltons are made of strong stuff.”

For a few seconds, he stared at her. Then he expelled a slow breath and straightened his shoulders. “Right. Okay. We won’t tell Dad. And I worked on the Dispatch when I was in college. I just need to get up to speed.” His usual confidence was returning with amazing speed. The matter settled, he swung around and headed for Amy’s door. He was almost out when her voice stopped him.

“One more thing.” He turned mid-stride to look at her, one eyebrow raised. “Ease up a little on the staff, okay? They’re starting to duck when you pass by.”

“I haven’t been that bad.”

Rolling her eyes, she shook her head. “Trust me. You’ve been that bad. Poor Dawn was almost in tears the other day. You’ll be looking for another administrative assistant if you don’t change your ways.”

At least that seemed to get his attention. A flicker of panic flashed across his face. “I can’t afford to lose her right now.”

“And I can’t afford to lose anyone. A word to the wise. Try being nice. You remember that word, don’t you? Nice. It goes a long way.”

“I have a business to run. I can’t afford to waste time on niceties right now. We’ll give everyone a bonus at Christmas to thank them for their patience through all this turmoil.”

“You can’t afford not to be nice. And dollars don’t build loyalty or longevity or commitment in employees.”

“They can’t hurt.” His pager began to vibrate, and he reached for it, then gave the message a rapid scan. “Gotta run. See you later.”

As Amy watched him hurry away, she shook her head again. One of these days, she hoped someone would find a way to tame Typhoon Tim. But it sure wasn’t going to be her. Sisters just didn’t have that kind of power—even when they really did know best!

The staff meeting had gone well. Amy had let Heather introduce Bryan, and as the group had tossed around story ideas for upcoming issues, he’d jumped right in, impressing her with his suggestions. He’d always had good instincts, and it was clear that time hadn’t changed that. If anything, they’d been honed through the years, seasoned with experience and polished with practice. She’d particularly liked his idea about a story on separation anxiety…in parents. It was a unique twist on a familiar topic, and with his only child starting kindergarten in two days, he could write with authority on the subject.

As the meeting wound down, Amy stood. “I think that wraps things up, unless there are any other issues we need to discuss?” When no one spoke, she reached for her notepad. “Okay. The pizza should be here any minute, so don’t wander too far. Although I don’t think I’ve ever had to twist anyone’s arm to take advantage of a free meal.”

Her comment elicited some chuckles, and as everyone gathered up their papers and rose, Amy turned to Heather. “Would you check with Herman? The pizza should have been delivered by now.”

“No problem.”

This was the part of the meeting Amy had been dreading. After regular sessions, the staff just dispersed. But Amy had started a practice of welcoming new employees with a casual lunch after their first staff meeting. If she skipped the custom this time, it would raise questions—which she didn’t need or want. Better to act as if this was any other welcome party. Meaning she had to stick around, mingle, chat with the new employee. The thing to do was talk business, she counseled herself. Stay away from personal topics.

Steeling herself, she walked over to the tub of soft drinks on a side table and chose a diet soda. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted that Bryan was talking with a couple of other writers in the far corner. Good. As long as they kept him occupied, she could lay low. And once the pizza arrived, she’d grab a piece, say a few words to Bryan and disappear.

“Pizza’s here!” Heather called from the doorway, juggling several large flat boxes. As she spread them out on the conference table, the staff converged like hungry buzzards. All except Bryan, Amy realized. He was still standing off to the side, one shoulder propped against the wall, his hands in the pockets of his khaki slacks. As if sensing her perusal, he angled his head her direction and looked at her. Short of being rude, she saw little option but to join him. Better to get it over with, anyway.

As she walked toward him, he straightened up. With her heels adding three inches to her five-foot, five-inch height, Amy was only two or three inches shorter than Bryan. As a result, she didn’t have to look up very far to get a good view into his deep green eyes. Though cool and dispassionate now, Amy recalled with a pang how they had once radiated warmth and devotion. The contrast produced an almost physical ache in her heart, one she didn’t intend to dwell on. It was obvious that Bryan had gotten over her long ago. And she had no one to blame for that except herself.

Looking back, she knew that her cavalier assumption that he would wait around until she was ready to make a commitment had been arrogant and insensitive. She’d known how much family meant to him, how much he wanted to establish a home of his own. But she’d selfishly disregarded his needs, his hopes and dreams. Maybe if they’d talked, they could have found a compromise. Instead, Amy had expected him to dance to her music. Even when he’d stopped calling, she’d just assumed he was giving her the space she’d asked for. His profession of love had been so ardent, so sincere, that it had never occurred to her that he was giving his heart to someone else.

By the time she’d realized what she’d lost, it had been too late. He’d been committed to another, and pride had kept her from contacting him. End of story. Or so she’d thought—until his résumé had crossed her desk. Now he was back, stirring up the embers of the flame that had once burned in her heart for him. And she had no idea how to deal with it.

She stopped beside him and tried for a smile, hoping that her inner turmoil wasn’t reflected on her face. “So…did you find the meeting helpful?” Her tone was a little too bright, and the speculative look on his face told her that he’d noticed.

“It was a good chance to get a feel for everyone’s working style. I’m glad you came over. I wanted to thank you for offering me the job.”

“It was Heather’s decision.”

“But not without your stamp of approval, I’m sure.”

Since she couldn’t refute that, she remained silent.

Glancing over her shoulder, he lowered his voice. “I hope this isn’t too awkward for you.”

Jolted by his direct approach, Amy stared at him. But she supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Bryan never had been one to dance around issues. Put the problem on the table, deal with it and move on. That had always been his philosophy. And still was, it seemed.

“Not really,” she responded, carefully lifting one shoulder in an indifferent shrug. “Our history is…ancient. A lot of things have happened since then. And we’ve both moved on with our lives.”

“True.” His gaze flickered to her ringless left hand, which had a death grip on the notebook she was clutching to her chest. “I hear you’ve never gotten married.”

His unexpected comment threw her for a second, but she made a quick recovery. “No time. Work has been pretty all-consuming.”

A sardonic smile touched the corners of his mouth. “You always did have more important things to do.”

That hurt. Especially since he was right. Back in college, when she’d planned to take the publishing world by storm, the only thing on her radar screen had been her career. But her priorities were different now, even if Bryan had no way of knowing that. Or of knowing that her workaholic style was an escape from loneliness.