The Family Man

“Sorry to startle you. I didn’t realize you were that deep in concentration.” His focus shifted to the screen behind her, and she tried to remember if the type had been large or small. In either case, she was sure he couldn’t read it from the doorway. Could he?

Steeling herself, she swiveled her chair just enough to reach her keyboard. In the second before she closed her Internet connection, she saw that the headline on her screen, “Long-term Effects of Premature Birth,” was more than big enough to be read from across the room. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and caught her lower lip in her teeth. She couldn’t keep her back to him forever. She might as well turn and face the music. Praying he’d let it pass, she clicked out of the screen, then eased her chair around.

“No problem. I was just doing some research. What can I do for you?” She congratulated herself for sounding far calmer than she felt.

Instead of responding at once, he folded his arms and propped a shoulder against her doorway, as if debating his next move. When he spoke at last, her heart sank. “If you wanted to know anything about Dylan, you could have just asked.”

Amy was used to being in control. At the magazine, at home, in her life. At least, as much as God let her be. Her self-confidence was solid, and it took a lot to fluster her. But Bryan had been doing it with almost no effort ever since his return. His mere presence was enough to throw her off balance, let alone his straightforward, cut-to-the-chase manner. She should have remembered how direct he could be when she’d agreed to hire him. At one time she’d admired that trait. Had liked his honesty, his willingness to address problems without game playing. Not anymore. Not when it put her on the hot seat.

His regard was steady as he waited for her response, and Amy forced herself to maintain eye contact as she spoke. “I didn’t think it would be appropriate to ask for more information about such a personal subject. But I found Dylan charming, and after your comments this morning I wondered how rough his early start might have been for him.” And for you. She left the latter unvoiced, however.

Again, a couple of beats of silence ensued. She wasn’t sure he was even going to reply. But he did. “Pretty rough.” He studied her, as if considering how to proceed. Then he inclined his head toward the door. “Do you mind if I close this?”

She shook her head, and he pushed himself away from the frame, then eased the door shut. Before she could suggest that he sit down, he strolled over to stare out of her window. It offered a scenic view of the Cumberland River, which ran through the middle of town a few blocks away. The strong midday light highlighted the faint lines around his eyes, the slight horizontal creases in his forehead, the hard line of lips that had once been supple and soft. He had changed in so many ways, Amy thought with a pang. He’d been tested by fire, and while he’d survived, he’d paid a price. Bryan had always been serious, but he’d known how to laugh, too. The flashes of spontaneous joy in his sparkling eyes, his dry wit, his ability to make lemonade out of lemons—and do it with a smile—had always appealed to her. Looking at him now, Amy suspected that joy and laughter had been absent from his life for some time. Only around Dylan did she catch a glimpse of the man he had once been. Bryan might still be doing his best to make lemonade, but the flavor of the ingredients seemed to have left a bitter taste in his mouth.

He turned to her then, and his question caught her off guard. “Why did you hire me, Amy?”

Trying to steady her fluttering pulse, she told him what she’d told herself. “You were the best qualified person for the job. Heather recommended you. I couldn’t find any grounds to object.”

“But you don’t want me here.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to. I’m picking up…unsettling…vibes.”

“Maybe it’s your imagination.”

“I don’t think so.” He walked over and put his hands flat on her desk, leaning toward her, his face just inches from hers. “Look, let me just lay this on the line, okay? I know you don’t want me around. I got that message a long time ago.” His mouth twisted into a mirthless smile, there and gone in a flash. “Frankly, I don’t want to be here, either. In fact, I wouldn’t be if it wasn’t for Dylan. But I need this job, Amy. At least until something else comes along. In the meantime, I’ll try to stay out of your way as much as possible. I promise you that I’ll put our personal history and differences aside and give the magazine a hundred and ten percent.

“Now, as for what you were looking at on the Net. That’s why I need this job. After what I’ve been through these past six years, I know the value of insurance, and I can’t afford COBRA long-term. When Dylan was born, he spent eight weeks in neonatal intensive care. Even though he didn’t suffer from starvation or severe oxygen deprivation in the womb, he had problems. He couldn’t breathe on his own at first, so he was hooked up to a ventilator. Twice we almost lost him. When I was finally allowed to take him home, I was scared to death. At five pounds, he was so tiny that I didn’t see how he could survive. But he did.”

A muscle clenched in his jaw, and he sucked in a deep breath. “That didn’t mean we were out of the woods, however. As I’m sure you discovered, premature children can have vision problems. That’s why he wears glasses. And why he’s already had one eye surgery. I hope that’s the only one he needs. But I don’t take anything for granted anymore.” Bryan’s eyes, intense and raw, held her captive. “Now you know Dylan’s story. And why I need this job. No matter how much you dislike me, no matter how awkward it is to have me around, I ask that you try to overlook your discomfort for Dylan’s sake. To have compassion for my child. In return, I’ll give Nashville Living everything I have to offer until something else comes along. Can you do that?”

Amy was so caught up in Bryan’s gripping gaze that it took several seconds for the sound of knocking to penetrate her consciousness. By the time it did, Heather had cracked the door and was peeking in. As Bryan straightened up, her sister looked from him to Amy, then back again, her eyes widening.

“Sorry. I can come back later. I didn’t realize you were…in conference.”

As she started to close the door, Amy tried—and failed—to find her voice. Fortunately, Bryan had better luck. “Hang on a sec. You were the one I was looking for.”

Once more, Heather’s head appeared around the door. “I was?”

“Yes.” Bryan moved across the room toward her, and Heather opened the door wider, flashing a still-uncertain look at Amy. “I wanted to remind you that I need to pick Dylan up at school. The first day is just a short orientation. Since you weren’t here, I was going to let Amy know I’d be gone a little longer than usual over lunch.”

“Oh. Right. I remember. I had to run up to Tim’s office with some information he needed, and I was gone a little longer than I expected.”

“No problem. I just didn’t want anyone to think I was cutting out early after only a few days on the job.”

He was halfway out the door before Amy found her voice. “Bryan.” When he turned and looked at her, she continued. “About that other question you asked me. The answer is yes.”

Did the tension in his face ease a bit, or was it just her imagination?

“Okay. Thanks.”

Heather watched him go, then looked back toward Amy, making no attempt to hide the query in her eyes. Nor did she hesitate giving voice to it. “What was that all about?”

Busying herself with a stack of copy on her desk, Amy refused to meet Heather’s eyes. “Bryan already told you.”

“Sorry. Not buying. The atmosphere in here when I opened the door was thick enough to cut with the proverbial knife.”

In recent weeks, Amy had taken great joy in watching Heather bloom. The transformation from shy caterpillar to butterfly had been amazing to witness, and Amy had been delighted when Heather began spreading her wings to soar with new confidence. Until today. Today, she wished Heather would revert to her former ways and crawl back into her cocoon the way she used to do when Amy gave her the I’m-the-boss-and-I-don’t-have-time-for-this look. Instead, Heather was holding her ground, watching her sister with a speculative expression. And Amy didn’t like it. Not one bit.

“Go back to work, Heather.”

Folding her arms across her chest, Heather gave Amy a smug appraisal. “I get the message. Back off. The question is, why?”

“Heather…” This time there was a warning note in Amy’s voice.

“Okay, okay. But why won’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“Because there isn’t anything going on.”

“Then why won’t you talk about it?” At the expression on Amy’s face, Heather sighed. “Fine. Have it your way. But you know what? You may be able to fool yourself, but you can’t fool me. I know you too well. Whatever just happened in here rattled you. Big time.”

With a flounce of her stylish, newly layered hair, Heather departed, leaving Amy relieved but not at peace. Not even close. For years she’d convinced herself that she’d dealt with the loss of Bryan. That while she might harbor feelings for him deep inside, the man who had stolen her heart once upon a time, in the distant past, had no place in her future. Reconciled to that fact, she’d done her best to go on with her life. It had never occurred to her that he’d reappear. Or that if he did, he’d disrupt her peace of mind so thoroughly.

Heather was right. Bryan rattled her big-time. And there wasn’t a thing she could do about it, short of terminating his employment. But his appeal to her sense of compassion, for Dylan’s sake, had nixed that possibility. As a result, she’d best come up with another plan, pronto.

At least he didn’t know the real reason his presence disturbed her, she consoled herself. He thought she just didn’t want a guy she’d discarded years before hanging around. That she still wanted no part of him. And it was better that way. Safer. As long as he kept his distance, she’d be able to cope. Right?

She wanted to answer with a confident “yes.” But if she looked deep in her heart, she knew that the more honest—and unsettling—answer was an uncertain “maybe.”

“How did it go, champ?” Bryan grinned down at Dylan as they walked toward the car.

Dylan hoisted his backpack higher on his shoulder and beamed up at his dad. “It was awesome. Ms. Patterson is nice, and I met a bunch of other kids. Joe and Mark and Andrew. And Greg sits next to me. He wants me to come over to his house Saturday to play. Can I, Dad?”

Opening the car door, Bryan settled Dylan in his seat and verified that his belt was secure before responding. “I’ll have to check with his mom and dad first. Ask him for his phone number tomorrow and I’ll give them a call.”

As they drove home, Bryan didn’t have to do much prodding to elicit a steady and enthusiastic stream of information on the school, the students, the classroom and a dozen other topics. It seemed Dylan’s starring role in the photo shoot this morning had given him instant celebrity status, smoothing his transition to the new school, just as Ethan had suggested. Bryan was just grateful that the first day had gone well. Change was always difficult for children. And it wasn’t a whole lot easier for adults.

As Dylan chattered, Bryan kept half an ear on the conversation while he thought about the recent changes in his own life. If people had told him a month ago that he’d soon be employed by Nashville Living, he’d have laughed in their faces. Amy Hamilton had been the last person he’d ever wanted to see again, let alone work for. Yet it seemed fate had conspired to bring them together again. At one time he would have wondered if perhaps God had had a hand in it, but he didn’t spend a whole lot of time thinking about the Almighty anymore. After the blows life had dealt him, he’d grown angry with the Lord, just as Jonah had. After all, how much was a man expected to take? He’d been dumped by his first love, lost his second love, spent agonizing weeks watching his son fight for his life, lost his mother to cancer…all in the space of a handful of years. If the Lord had shown him any compassion through all of his trials and tribulations, he’d missed it.