The Rebel Who Loved Her

Ewan straightened up and Becky hurriedly smoothed her face into a suitably noncommittal expression. Maybe Millie had responded unusually favourably but it meant no more than her own reaction had. They were both exhausted and the sooner they were home in Bride’s Bay the better. She glanced at the carousel, willing her suitcase to appear. Cases were being claimed from all sides but she couldn’t see any sign of her bag.

Ewan reached over and grabbed a battered old holdall and dropped it on the floor by his feet. ‘That’s mine sorted. There’s just yours to come now. Shout out when you spot it.’

He seemed to have taken it for granted that he should help her and Becky wasn’t sure what to do. It didn’t seem fair to make use of him, especially not after the way they had parted all those years ago. The guilt that had become such a large part of her life of late rose up inside her and she shook her head.

‘Don’t worry about us, Ewan. We can manage. You’ve got your bag so you get on off home.’

‘And leave you to struggle on your own?’ His dark brows rose. ‘I can just imagine what my mother would say if she found out. She’d have my guts for garters!’

Becky summoned a smile. ‘I think you’re a bit too old to worry what your mother will say.’

‘True.’ His smile faded and he looked at her with a seriousness that made a shiver pass through her. ‘However, I’d never forgive myself if I abandoned you, Becky. Mum wrote and told me what had happened to Steve. I’m really sorry. Losing your husband like that must have been horrendous. You’ve had a really rough time and I’d like to help any way I can, even if it’s only by seeing to your luggage.’

Becky felt a lump come to her throat when she heard genuine concern in his voice and looked away. She was afraid that she would do something silly if she wasn’t careful, and cry. She had learned to hold back her tears in the past year for Millie’s sake. It hadn’t seemed fair to upset her daughter so what little crying she’d done had been done in private. Maybe it was tiredness or the fact that she’d been caught unawares by seeing Ewan again, but she knew it would take very little to make her break down.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You’re very kind.’

‘It’s my pleasure.’ He touched her hand then turned towards the carousel, thankfully missing the start she gave.

Becky took a deep breath as she focused on the cases travelling along the conveyor belt. She was tired, so it was little wonder that she seemed to be overreacting. The fact that her pulse had started racing when Ewan had touched her wasn’t an indication of anything else.

She finally spotted her case and pointed to it. ‘That’s my case—the red one with the yellow tag on it.’

‘Okey-dokey.’ Ewan elbowed his way through the crowd and lifted the case off the belt with an ease that belied its weight. Setting it down on the floor, he looked at her. ‘I take it that you’re being met?’

‘Yes.’ Becky sighed. ‘Mum and Dad insisted on coming to meet us. I tried to talk them out of it but they were adamant.’

‘Of course they were.’ Ewan frowned as he released the handle of her suitcase and turned it towards the exit. ‘You’ve just flown right across the globe, Becky. Anyone would be tired after a journey like that—I know I am. Plus you’ve had the added stress of looking after your daughter. What’s the point of making your life even more difficult by refusing to let your parents collect you?’

Becky bit her lip. What Ewan had said made sense but she still felt bad about her parents making the long drive from Devon. They had been through enough in the past year thanks to her and she was determined that she wasn’t going to put them under any more pressure. Once again the thought that she might be making a mistake by returning to England rose to her mind.

She’d thought long and hard before she had made her decision but, in the end, she had accepted that she didn’t have a choice. She needed to work to provide for herself and Millie, and the cost of full-time childcare would have been exorbitant. There simply wouldn’t have been enough money left over each month to pay all the other bills. Her parents had not only offered her and Millie a home, but her mother had offered to look after Millie while Becky went out to work. Becky knew that she should be grateful for their kindness, and she was, but it wasn’t easy to sacrifice her independence. She would be right back where she’d been eight years ago, living with her parents and dreaming about Ewan.

The thought slid into her mind so fast that she didn’t have time to stop it. Becky shook her head, determined to dislodge it as she followed Ewan towards the exit. There was no chance of history repeating itself. Maybe she had fallen under Ewan’s spell once upon a time but it was Steve she had married and Steve she had loved….

Hadn’t she?

Becky felt her breath catch as her eyes rested on Ewan’s broad back. All of a sudden she wasn’t sure what was true any more. Had she loved Steve, really loved him, or had he merely fitted her idea of the perfect husband? Steve had appeared so calm and dependable, so focused on what he wanted from life. They’d held similar views, shared the same objectives—marriage, a home and a family—that she had believed she had found her soulmate. Ewan, however, had been very, very different.

Ewan had been charming, funny, exciting, sexy—everything Steve hadn’t. Although he’d had numerous girlfriends, he’d made no secret of the fact that he didn’t plan on settling down. As he’d stated on many occasions there was a great big world waiting to be explored and he was going to do his level best to see as much of it as possible. Even though she had been deeply attracted to him, and had known he’d felt the same about her, Becky had realised it wouldn’t work. They had wanted such different things out of life that any kind of relationship had been doomed from the outset.

In the end she had chosen to stay with Steve, sure in her own mind that it was the right decision. Steve had offered her the security she’d wanted, the chance to create a marriage exactly like her parents’—stable and enduring. It was only now, looking back, that she found herself wondering if she had made the biggest mistake of her life. Who knew what might have happened if she had chosen Ewan?

Ewan could feel a knot of tension twisting his guts. He took a deep breath, forcing the oxygen through his lungs. Seeing Becky at Christchurch Airport had been a shock admittedly, but he’d had hours to get over it. As he had sat in the cramped confines of the aircraft, he had, quite deliberately, gone over everything that had happened eight years ago.

He’d been doing his rotations and Becky had been in her final year, training as a nurse, when they had met at the hospital where they were both seconded. Although they both came from the Bride’s Bay area, he was a few years older than her so she’d not been part of his set. It had been a while since he’d seen her, in fact, and Ewan had been surprised by how attractive she was. Not only was she extremely pretty but she had a lively and engaging mind.

He’d got into the habit of stopping by the ward she was on, timing his visits to coincide with her breaks. They’d chatted about this and that over coffee, but each knew the conversation was merely a cover for their real feelings. If he was attracted to her then it was obvious that Becky felt the same about him. Although he knew that she was seeing someone—a definite no-no in his book as he made a point of never encroaching on another man’s territory—he asked her out and she accepted.

They went for dinner at a little bistro down by the river recommended by one of his friends. Candlelight, soft music, discreetly attentive waiters—it was so self-consciously romantic that it would have been laughable if Ewan hadn’t been mortified in case Becky thought he was trying to seduce her. However, when he apologised, she simply laughed. And it was then that he realised he could very easily fall in love with her.

He drove her home afterwards with his head in a spin. He had always ruled out the possibility of falling in love just yet. He wanted to see something of the world before he settled down and making a commitment like that would make that impossible. However, meeting Becky had changed everything; he was no longer certain what he wanted any more. And when he kissed her, right there in the street, he was less certain than ever. Maybe he had found something even more wonderful than anything the world had to offer?

In other circumstances he might have asked her if he could spend the night with her but what had happened was just too profound. He drove himself home in a state of turmoil, aware that he needed to decide what he was going to do. However, before he could work it out, Becky came to see him. She told him that she and Steve were getting engaged and that in the circumstances she didn’t think they should see each other again. Whilst Ewan was stunned by the announcement, he was also relieved. Now he could carry on with his plans, do everything he wanted to do. There was nothing and no one to hold him back, although if Becky hadn’t called a halt, he wasn’t sure if he could have done so …

Ewan cursed under his breath as they reached the arrivals hall. He was acting like an idiot by thinking about all that. It was over and done with and they had both moved on. Turning, he smiled at Becky, seeing the dark circles that exhaustion had painted under her eyes. His hands clenched because it was all he could do not to reach out and smooth them away.

‘Where did your parents say they’d meet you?’

‘They said they’d be waiting when I came through Customs …’ She broke off, a smile lighting her face. ‘There they are!’

Ewan turned, glad of the excuse not to look at her. When she smiled like that she looked like the old Becky, the one he had found so beguiling, and it wasn’t easy to reconcile the mix of emotions that thought aroused. There had been umpteen women in his life since Becky. Admittedly, none of them had made much of an impression on him, but he hadn’t wanted them to. He’d been happy to play the field and enjoy his life as a bachelor. Maybe he had decided it was time he settled down, but he wasn’t in a rush. He would wait until he found the right woman …

If he hadn’t found her already.

Ewan felt alarm scud through him. Was Becky that woman? Was it possible that he was still attracted to her? He didn’t want to believe it but he couldn’t pretend that he didn’t feel anything. Maybe it was only sympathy because of what she’d been through, but, there again, maybe it was something more.

He groaned. Once again it felt as though all his plans were up in the air. And once again it was all down to Becky!

CHAPTER TWO

‘DARLING, IT’S so wonderful to see you!’

Becky smiled as her mother enveloped her in a hug. She hugged her back, surprised by the feeling of relief that swept over her. Maybe she did have reservations about coming back to England, but she couldn’t deny that it was good to know she wasn’t on her own anymore. She kissed her mother’s cheek then turned to her father.

‘Hello, Dad. How are you?’

‘All the better for seeing you, sweetheart.’ Simon Harper gave her a bear hug then bent down and chucked Millie under the chin. ‘And for seeing you, too, poppet.’

Becky felt a lump come to her throat when she saw tears in his eyes. Her parents had been marvellous and she knew that she wouldn’t have coped without their support. No matter how difficult it was, she was going to make sure their new living arrangements worked for all of them. Perhaps it would be like stepping back in time, but that didn’t necessarily mean it was a bad thing. A lot of good things had happened in the past, like her friendship with Ewan.

Heat rushed through her as she glanced at him. He was standing to one side, obviously giving them the chance to say their hellos in private. It was so typically considerate of him that Becky’s heartstrings twanged. Despite his playboy image, Ewan had always been incredibly thoughtful. It was one of the reasons why she’d been attracted to him, that plus the fact that he’d been so exciting and sexy, of course. She had never felt bored when she was with Ewan but wonderfully, vibrantly alive.

She blanked out the thought as she turned to her mother again. She wouldn’t allow herself to be seduced by memories. She’d had her fill of relationships and she didn’t intend to make the mistake of getting involved again. ‘Ewan very kindly helped me with my luggage.’

‘Ewan?’ Ros Harper repeated uncertainly as she glanced at him. Her face suddenly cleared and she smiled in delight. ‘Ewan! What a wonderful surprise.’

‘It’s good to see you too, Mrs Harper.’ Ewan stepped forward and shook hands with Ros then turned to Simon. ‘And you, too, sir.’

Simon smiled warmly as he shook the younger man’s hand. ‘Make that Simon, eh? I heard via the grapevine that you were coming back to England, although I thought you’d been working in Australia, not New Zealand.’

‘I was,’ Ewan agreed. ‘I did a twelve-month stint at a hospital in Sydney.’ He shrugged. ‘I did consider staying on there but in the end the lure of home was too strong. I popped over to New Zealand on my way back to visit my sister. Shona’s third child is due any day and I was hoping it would arrive while I was there, but no such luck.’

‘Another grandchild for your parents!’ Ros exclaimed. ‘How many is that now?’

‘Eight … or is it nine?’ Ewan grinned. ‘I’ve lost track. We MacLeods tend to be highly productive in the baby-making department.’

Everyone laughed at the comment, Becky included, although there was a hollow ache inside her. She bent down, tucking a lightweight blanket around Millie so that nobody would notice how much it hurt. She still found it hard to accept that she would never have another child. She loved children and had planned to have at least four, but the accident that had cost Steve his life had robbed her of that chance. She stood up, feeling her heart lurch when she caught Ewan’s eyes and saw the concern they held. Surely, he hadn’t realised something was wrong?