Miracle Under The Mistletoe

‘Mr Forster was complaining of feeling sick,’ she replied in the coolest possible tone.

Quite frankly, Sean wouldn’t have thought her capable of sounding so frosty and blinked in surprise. Molly had always been known for her warmth, for her kindness, for her sheer joie de vivre. Her earlier anger had been upsetting enough but to hear her sounding so frigid was even worse. It sent a shiver straight through his heart. Had he done this to her? Had he turned her from the warm, loving woman he remembered to this … this chilly replica of herself? Even though he hated the idea, he couldn’t dismiss it.

‘I imagine it’s the morphine,’ he said evenly, clamping down on the guilt that threatened to swamp him as he lifted the patient’s notes out of their holder. Frank Forster had been admitted after complaining of severe pain in his lower back. Apparently, he had been lifting a large Christmas tree off the roof of his car when it had happened. A subsequent scan had shown that one of the discs in his lumbar spine had prolapsed and was pressing on a nerve. The poor man was in a great deal of pain, which was why he had been given morphine while they waited for a bed to become vacant in the spinal unit. Now Sean frowned as he looked up.

‘Why didn’t Dr Collins prescribe an anti-emetic with the morphine?’

‘I have no idea,’ Molly replied coldly. She finished straightening the blanket and patted the middle-aged man’s hand. ‘I’ll be back in a moment with something to stop you feeling so sick, Frank. Just hang in there.’

She treated the man to a warm smile and Sean felt some of his guilt ooze away. So the old Molly hadn’t disappeared completely, as he had feared. It was just with him that she was so frosty; she was perfectly fine with everyone else. That thought might have set off another round of soul-searching if he had let it, only he refused to do so. As he followed her out of the cubicle, he ruthlessly shoved all those pesky feelings back into their box and slammed the lid. He had to focus on the fact that he had done what he had needed to do to protect her, and that he would do exactly the same thing all over again too if it became necessary …

Wouldn’t he?

Sean felt his vision blur, the sterile white walls that surrounded him turning a fuzzy shade of grey. He would finish with Molly again if he had to—of course he would! However, no matter how many times he told himself that, he didn’t quite believe it. Maybe he was ninety-nine per cent certain but there was that one per cent of doubt lurking in his mind. One tiny but highly dangerous percentage of uncertainty that sent a chill rippling down his spine. Until he could erase it completely then he couldn’t be sure exactly how he would react, so help him!

Molly made her way to the desk, trying to ignore the fact that Sean was following her. That was the best way to handle this situation, she reminded herself—she would ignore him and concentrate on doing her job. It shouldn’t be that difficult. They were always so busy that there was little time to think about anything of a personal nature; however, she had to admit that several times she had found her thoughts wandering. Sean had had a major impact on her life and it wasn’t easy to forget that when they had been thrust together again like this.

Molly’s generous mouth tightened as she set about making the adjustment to Frank Forster’s meds. Although she knew exactly what was needed to make the man comfortable, it required a doctor’s signature on the prescription. She glanced round, hoping to catch sight of Steph Collins, their F1 student, but there was no sign of her. Although everything was calming down now, there were still a few patients in the unit. Undoubtedly, Steph was dealing with one of them.

‘Here. I’ll sign that.’

A large tanned hand reached over her shoulder and took the script from her and Molly jumped. She hadn’t realised that Sean was standing quite so close to her and she couldn’t stop herself reacting. There was a tiny pause and she held her breath as she willed him not to say anything. She didn’t want him to suspect how nervous she felt around him, didn’t want to admit it to herself even. She just wanted to be indifferent to his presence, as he was undoubtedly indifferent to hers.

The soft rustle of paper as he scrawled his name at the bottom of the script broke the spell. Molly nodded as he handed it back to her without comment, relieved that she had got off so lightly. She would be wary of that happening again, she thought as she took the keys to the drugs cupboard out of her pocket. The last thing she wanted was to appear vulnerable when Sean was around.

‘Thanks. I’ll get Mr Forster sorted out and then check if there’s a bed available yet. He may have to be transferred to Men’s Surgical if the Spinal Unit can’t come up with anything soon.’

‘Hardly ideal, is it, to shunt seriously injured patients about?’ Sean observed.

‘No. It isn’t.’ She shrugged, causing another wayward curl to spring out of its clip. ‘However, needs must. We either move him to Men’s Surgical or get a rocket off the powers-that-be for overrunning the time limit. I sometimes wish that they all had to do a stint down here. Then they might appreciate just how difficult it is to get a patient seen and treated within such a ridiculously short space of time.’

‘Amen to that,’ Sean murmured. Leaning forward, he carefully tucked the unruly curl behind her ear and nodded. ‘There you go. All nice and tidy again.’

‘I … erm … I’ll get that anti-emetic.’

Molly turned and fled, uncaring what he thought as she hurried into the office. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, rapid little flurries that sent the blood gushing through her veins in a red-hot torrent, and bit her lip. She didn’t want to react this way, but she couldn’t seem to help it. The moment Sean had touched her, it had been as though a fire had reignited inside her and the thought filled her with dismay.

She couldn’t go through what she had been through two years ago all over again. Sean had meant the world to her back then; she had honestly thought that she had found her Mr Right, but she had been mistaken. Sean wasn’t interested in making a commitment to her or to any woman.

‘About what happened before, Molly, well, I’d hate to think that it might create a problem between us.’

Molly spun round so fast when she heard Sean’s voice that the room started to whirl around her and she grabbed hold of the desk to steady herself. ‘What happened before,’ she repeated uncertainly. Her heart suddenly leapt into her throat. Was Sean talking about their affair? Was he attempting to explain why he had ended it so abruptly? Even though it shouldn’t have made a scrap of difference now, she found herself holding her breath.

‘Yes. That incident with the drunk, I mean.’ He grimaced. ‘You were quite right to take me to task because I should never have interfered. I’ve always had the greatest respect for the way you handle even the most difficult patients and I should have left it to you to sort things out.’

‘I …’ Molly found herself floundering and desperately tried to collect herself. Of course Sean wasn’t talking about their affair! That was over and done with so far as he was concerned. In fact, he probably hadn’t given her another thought after he had left Dalverston. The idea was so painful that it cut through the muddle in her head as nothing else could have done.

‘No, you shouldn’t have intervened,’ she said flatly, afraid that he would guess how hurt she felt. She drew herself up, forcing all the injured feelings to the deepest, darkest corner of her mind. Letting herself get upset at this stage was pointless. It wouldn’t change what had happened; neither would she want it to. ‘I was perfectly capable of handling it myself. However, there seems little point going on and on about it. It’s all over and done with now.’

‘Of course. I just wouldn’t want it to cause any … well, friction between us. I realise that working together isn’t exactly ideal but I’m hoping that we can call a truce. Do you think that’s possible, Molly? Can we put what happened two years ago behind us?’

‘It isn’t an issue,’ she said quickly and then flushed when she saw the scepticism in his eyes. ‘Don’t flatter yourself, Sean. Oh, I may have been upset at the time—I’ll admit it. However, I soon got over it, I assure you.’

‘Good. I’m pleased to hear it.’ He grinned at her, apparently relieved to have got everything settled so successfully. ‘Right, I’d better get back before we have a mutiny on our hands. The rest of the team will think we’ve gone AWOL!’

Molly filled in the sheet to say that she had taken the prescribed drugs after he had left then took a deep breath before she made her way back to the unit. From this point on she would follow Sean’s example and treat him as nothing more than a colleague. It was only what he was, in all honesty, so it shouldn’t be that difficult, especially after what he had said to her just now.

A tiny stab of pain speared through her heart but she steadfastly ignored it. Obviously, Sean didn’t view her as anything more than someone he worked with and she was glad about that too!

CHAPTER THREE (#ulink_d8ea302c-3465-5ab2-add1-1c461afdc7b1)

IT WAS WELL after seven a.m. before Sean finally left the unit. Although he had been due to leave at six there had been a last-minute rush which had held everyone up, not that he minded. As he made his way to the staff car park, he deliberately set about erasing the night’s events from his mind. There was no point dwelling on what Molly had said about how quickly she had got over him. And definitely no point wondering why he had felt so hurt when he had heard it. He had learned through experience that it was best not to examine his feelings in too much depth. No, they had called a truce and that was it. End of story.

Sean sighed as he unlocked his car and got in, all too aware how shallow it made him appear to take such a view. However, as he couldn’t think of a better approach, he had to go along with it. There was a film of ice covering the windscreen and he switched on the engine to clear it. There were a lot of night staff leaving at the same time and he recognised several people from the last time he had worked at Dalverston.

He had enjoyed his stint here, he mused as he waited for the ice to melt. There was a strong community feel about the hospital, plus it was situated in such a glorious part of the country. He knew that they were desperately in need of a permanent registrar to fill the vacancy in A&E and was seriously tempted to apply for the post himself. He would enjoy living and working here full-time.

The thought shocked him, mainly because it was the first time that he had seriously considered taking a permanent post. After Claire had died so tragically in that road accident, he had found it impossible to settle. He had signed on with a leading medical agency and taken only short-term contracts ever since. Two months here, six months there; it had been exactly what he had wanted. To suddenly discover that his peripatetic lifestyle had started to pall was a shock and not a pleasant one either, especially when it was the thought of working here that had triggered it. It would be asking for trouble if he remained in Dalverston. Working with Molly, day in and day out, would be far too much for him to handle.

As though thinking about her had somehow conjured her up, Molly suddenly appeared. Sean felt his heart and what felt like the rest of his vital organs scrunch up inside him as he watched her walk over to her car. She had parked in the row behind him and he studied her reflection in his rear-view mirror. She looked weary, only to be expected after the busy night they’d had, but was that the only reason for the defeated slump to her shoulders? Or had it anything to do with him? Had she found it a strain to work with him after what had happened between them in the past? Even though there was little he could do about it, he hated to think that he was the cause of her unhappiness. Out of all the women he had dated since Claire had died, Molly was the only one he had truly cared about.

Molly slid the key into the lock and opened the car door. Picking up the can of de-icer, she squirted a generous dollop onto the frosty windscreen. She hated winter, hated the fact that she couldn’t just get in her car and drive away. There was no point pretending—working with Sean had been an ordeal, one she wished with every scrap of her being that she wouldn’t have to repeat, but there was no hope of that, was there? He was covering the entire Christmas and New Year period which meant he would be around for at least six weeks and probably longer if the management team could persuade him to stay on. Finding cover over the festive period was always difficult as most locums wanted to be with their families at this time of the year. There were very few with Sean’s skills and experience willing to relocate.

Molly tucked the can under the passenger seat, trying not to think about the problems it could cause if she had to see Sean on a daily basis. Slipping the key into the ignition, she attempted to start the engine, only to be rewarded by a nasty grunting noise. She tried again with the same result. The battery, always dodgy, was completely flat. Brilliant! Now she would have to catch the bus, which was just what she needed after the night she’d had.

‘Problems?’

Molly almost jumped out of her skin when her car door opened. She had no idea where Sean had appeared from and found it impossible to reply. He gave her a quick smile as leant into the car to try starting the engine himself.

‘Sounds like a flat battery to me,’ he declared when he received the same response. Resting his forearm against the roof of the car, he grinned down at her. ‘They always go at the worst possible moment, don’t they?’

It was the sort of comment anyone might have made in such circumstances, so Molly had no idea why she reacted as she did. ‘Thank you, but I did manage to work that out for myself! Now, if you’ll move aside …’

She gave the door a hefty push to fully open it, not even flinching when it caught him a glancing blow on his hip. It was his own fault for poking his nose in again where it wasn’t wanted, she assured herself as she lifted her bag off the passenger seat. She didn’t need his help. She didn’t want anything to do with him. Quite frankly, if he disappeared in a puff of smoke it would make her day!

Slamming the car door, she started walking towards the gate, wondering how long it would be before a bus came along. She lived on the other side of the town and it took forever by bus, which was why she had saved up for a car.

She was just nearing the gate when she saw her bus coming along the road and started to run, but it was difficult to make much progress thanks to the frosty conditions underfoot. She groaned as she was forced to watch it drive away. She would have to wait at least half an hour before another came along.

‘Hop in. I’ll give you a lift.’ Sean drew up beside her but Molly shook her head.

‘No, thank you. I prefer to wait for the next bus,’ she said snippily.

‘Are you sure?’ He shrugged, his broad shoulders moving lightly beneath his heavy quilted jacket, and Molly gulped. Sean had always possessed the most wonderful physique and it seemed little had changed in that respect. He had gone running when they had been seeing each other, setting off early each morning so he could fit in a run before work.

How many times had he come back from one of those runs and persuaded her to take a shower with him? she wondered suddenly. She had no idea but the memory of those times seemed to flood her mind. They had made love in the shower, their desire heightened by the sensuous feel of the hot water cascading over their naked bodies, and then followed it up by making love all over again in her bed. She had never realised that lovemaking could feel like that, had never experienced desire on such a level before. It was Sean who had taught her what it could be like. Only Sean who could make her feel that way again too.

The thought was too much. It made a mockery of all the plans she had made about how she intended to live her life in the future. What hope did she have of sticking to her decision to be in charge of her own destiny when one night working with Sean had had this effect? She had to rid herself of all these foolish memories, finally put an end to that episode in her life. Until she did so she would be always looking back, constantly comparing how she felt now to how she had felt then.