Wife For Real

‘But he will if you ask him!’ Peter gave her a quick hug. ‘I’d better get back to Diane before she thinks I’ve run out on her. You will ask him as soon as you can, though, Kitty, won’t you? I don’t want those people running to Diane’s parents and causing a fuss while we’re away.’

Katherine opened her mouth to repeat her warning that she wasn’t sure if Jordan would agree, only Peter was already hurrying away. She shivered as she turned to stare towards the shadowy hills again. The thought of asking Jordan for all that money scared her, but what else could—?

‘Well, what are you waiting for, Katherine? They always say there’s no time like the present, so why don’t you get it over with right now and ask me if I’m willing to lend you fifty thousand pounds for Peter. Or are you waiting to catch me at the right moment?’

Jordan gave a soft laugh which made her skin prickle as she turned and saw him standing in the shadow of the trees. ‘Mmm, I’m almost tempted to find out exactly when that is.’

Katherine took a deep breath and tried to close her mind to the nuances she’d heard in his voice, but she could feel ripples of awareness spreading through her, as though he had touched one nerve and all the others were responding.

‘I...I didn’t know you were there,’ she said huskily.

‘No? Never mind; don’t let that deter you.’ He gave another of those disturbing laughs as he came and leant against the fence beside her. He was so close now that she could smell the musky aroma of the aftershave he wore, and she could feel the heat of his body flowing through the thin fabric of her jacket. Suddenly it was as though all her senses were heightened to an almost unbearable degree, so that when his shoulder brushed hers she jumped, and saw the amused look he gave her.

‘Nervous, Katherine? I don’t see why you should be. After all it isn’t the first time you’ve found yourself thrust in at the deep end to help a member of your family out of a sticky situation, is it?’

Katherine’s face flamed as she understood what he meant immediately. It had been the need to help her father out of even worse financial straits that had brought her and Jordan together—although if she’d had any idea of the repercussions she would never have gone through with it!

She turned to glare at him, her grey eyes stormy as they met his mocking blue ones. ‘No, it isn’t new to me, Jordan. However, that doesn’t mean I find it any easier second time around.’ She gave a harsh laugh. ‘In fact, bearing in mind what happened the last time I asked you for help, I must have been mad to let Peter talk me into asking you again!’

Jordan’s lids flickered but his smile never wavered. ‘You got what you wanted, Katherine. Your father has been able to live comfortably ever since. Are you really trying to claim that you would have preferred to see him being dragged through the courts and ending up with nothing more than his name at the end of it?

‘No! Of course I wouldn’t have wanted that to happen. You know very well what I mean, Jordan!’

‘Of course I do. How could I be in any doubt, Katherine?’ His brows rose, his eyes glittering as they centred on her angry face. ‘You have always been totally honest about your feelings towards me, haven’t you?’

Katherine looked away, wondering what there was in the depths of his eyes which made her feel as though she was standing on the edge of some vast precipice, and that one unwary step would send her plunging into its unknown depths. ‘I... don’t think either of us is under any illusion about how we feel. However, that has little bearing on this present situation.’

‘Hasn’t it?’ Jordan’s tone was openly sceptical, the mockery she heard in it making her heart beat even faster.

‘No.’ Katherine’s hands clenched as she turned and stared into the distance while she fought to keep all trace of emotion from her voice. ‘Will you lend Peter the money he needs? That’s all I want to know.’

‘I’m sure it is, but has it never occurred to you that every time you bail Peter out it just makes matters worse? He is old enough to stand on his own two feet, but he’ll never do that while you keep fighting his battles for him.’

Jordan’s tone was scornful, and Katherine reacted immediately to it despite her determination to remain detached. ‘That’s not fair! How on earth can Peter get himself out of this mess?’

‘Not as easily as he apparently got himself into it, Kitty.’

Jordan mocked her with the childhood name, yet it was a measure of how upset her brother had been that he should have used it tonight. The thought made her even angrier. Jordan considered himself so infallible that he couldn’t understand how anyone else could make a mistake!

‘Unfortunately, not everyone is as perfect as you, Jordan! But surely even you could see how upset Peter was? Is it too much to ask that you try to be a little more sympathetic?’

He smiled contemptuously. ‘I imagine that Peter is far more interested in the support I can give him financially rather than emotionally. I shall leave that side of it to you.’ He sighed, sounding suddenly weary. ‘However, this is hardly the place to discuss Peter’s failings. I came to tell you that it’s almost time for him and Diane to leave; so shall we get back to the party? We can sort this out later.’

‘No. We need to sort it out now. I want to be able to tell Peter if you’re going to help him or not. Jordan, wait!’

Katherine felt her temper rise to dizzying heights as Jordan started to walk away. She caught hold of his arm to stop him, determined that he was going to give her an answer. It was only when she felt him go utterly still that she realised what she had done.

She never touched him—not willingly, at least. In the whole year of their marriage not once had she reached out and placed her hand on his arm as she had done just now. Now the shock of the contact spread through her so that her fingers and arm tingled.

There was a moment’s tense silence before Katherine abruptly let him go. She drew a ragged breath of air into her deprived lungs while she avoided looking at him. But she sensed that Jordan was watching her. It disturbed her to wonder what she would see in those deep blue eyes if she looked...

‘It’s still there, isn’t it, Katherine?’ His voice was so low that it barely disturbed the silence of the night, yet she still jumped. Her eyes flew to his face, and what she saw there filled her with fear. Jordan was looking at her with an assurance and a certainty which allowed no room for doubts as he continued in that same soft tone.

‘Despite how much you hate yourself for it, you still feel that same desire for me that you felt on our wedding night.’

‘No!’ Katherine felt the blood drain from her head so fast that she thought she was going to faint. ‘You’re wrong... wrong! I don’t feel anything for you, Jordan. Do you hear me? Nothing at all except... except contempt!’

She tried to push past him, her whole body trembling with the shock of what he had just said. Jordan caught her wrist, his fingers cool and hard as they closed around her flesh to hold her still.

‘Don’t lie, Katherine! We both know what the truth is. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you imagine that I don’t know how you felt on our wedding night?’

‘Yes. You must be stupid, or incredibly arrogant!’ She gave a sharp laugh, then bit her lip as she realised she was verging on hysteria. She forced herself to meet his eyes, wanting desperately to convince him that he was wrong. ‘I know it comes as a shock to you, Jordan, but not every woman falls under your spell. If you want the truth, I hated what happened that night.’

His hands tightened; the violence she sensed in him made her wonder if she had pushed him too far. Then suddenly he gave a deep laugh, mocking, taunting, knowing... so very knowing, which was so much worse.

‘Mmm, is that a fact? You’re sickened by the idea of me making love to you? All you felt that night was revulsion ? Is that what you’re saying, Katherine?’

‘Yes! What does it take to convince you? Is your ego so huge that you can’t accept that I’m telling the truth? I hated you touching me, Jordan. I hated the thought of you anywhere near me!’

‘Like you’re hating me touching you now? Is that why your heart is racing, Katherine?’ He pressed his finger to the pulse which was throbbing at the base of her neck, and let it rest there, so that Katherine could feel its warmth branding her flesh. She jerked back, struggling to free herself, but Jordan was too strong for her to break the hold he had on her.

‘Let me go, Jordan.’

She saw his smile deepen. When he let his finger slide up her neck to come to rest by the corner of her mouth she closed her eyes, terrified of what he might see in them right now—all the turmoil and anguish she felt, all the shame that even now his touch could have such an effect on her.

‘It wasn’t loathing you felt that night, Katherine. Oh, you might have fought me like a she-cat, but it wasn’t because you were disgusted by what was happening—far from it.’ He slid that tantalising finger beneath her chin, forcing her head up. ‘You wanted me, Katherine. You wanted me with a passion that you had never expected, didn’t you? After all, you hadn’t married me because you were in love with me, so how could you have suspected that you would feel like that?’

His voice was like a drug, soft and deep, and so compelling that her eyes opened almost of their own volition. Katherine stared into his face, seeing the truth of what had happened that night—which she had tried so hard to escape from.

‘No. Jordan, I...’

He didn’t seem to hear her as he continued, in that same quiet tone which made a mockery of her halting attempts to deny what he was saying. ‘Maybe I was wrong to do what I did, but it wasn’t planned. It just happened, and for those first few minutes when I took you in my arms you responded to me. You can lie to yourself but we both know I’m right.

‘But tell me this, my sweet, who do you hate most? Me for showing you what you’re capable of feeling? Or yourself because for those few minutes you acted like a real woman, not a scared little girl!’

He let her go, his gaze contemptuous as he strode back up the path.

Katherine watched him go with tears burning in her eyes. She wanted to scream after him that it wasn’t true, but he wouldn’t believe her. Why should he? Both of them knew what had happened that night. One year later she was still paying the price for it.

No matter how hard she tried she could never forget how she had lain in Jordan’s arms and felt for him a passion she never wanted to feel again!

CHAPTER THREE

IT WAS almost three a.m. when Katherine heard the sound of a key in the lock. She hadn’t gone to bed. There had been no point—she had known she wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Jordan had left the reception shortly after Peter and Diane had left for their honeymoon. Katherine wasn’t sure where he had gone but she suspected that it might have something to do with Peter.

She had stayed up, waiting for him to return, longing for him to get back but also dreading it. Of course she wanted to know that Peter had nothing more to worry about, but it was the price Jordan might demand in return for his help which worried her. She knew to her cost the kind of bargain Jordan struck!