Where Have All the Boys Gone?

Where Have All the Boys Gone?
Jenny Colgan

Where have all the men gone? Faced with 25, 000 more women than men in London, and gleeful media reports that it's statistically more likely for single women to be murdered than get married, Katie is reached an all-time low. But all is not lost …Another hilarious high-concept romantic comedy from Jenny Colgan.While Katie's glad it's not a man's world any more, she'd be quite pleased if there were more men in it – or at least single ones, anyway.More likely to get murdered than married, according to gleeful media reports, Katie resigns herself to the fact there's no sex in the city and heads for the hills – or the Scottish highlands, to be precise.Despite the fact she's never been a girl for wellies – and Fairlish is in the middle of nowhere – the tiny town does have one major draw: men. Lots of them.But while Katie relishes the chance to do battle with armies of admirers, she's not reckoned on going head to head with her grumpy new boss, Harry, shadowy developers intent on destroying the beautiful countryside and Mrs McClockerty, the least suitable hotelier since Norman Bates.At least there's the local eye-candy to distract her, including gorgeous newshound Iain. But he is at loggerheads with Harry, and Harry despises her. Life in the country might not be one big roll in the hay but can Katie ever turn her back on the delights of Fairlish and return to city life?

Where Have All the Boys Gone?

Jenny Colgan

For my beloved boys, Mr and Baby B.

Table of Contents

Cover Page (#ue23397f7-328e-591f-b1de-a8e9f719dfe2)

Title Page (#u56dec2e6-192c-578a-82a8-09f2d2534791)

Dedication (#u3308c240-359d-5dfd-8a59-68ec997b04d4)

Chapter One (#u3be1df65-7d19-525a-9b15-d1fa943b8b71)

Chapter Two (#u081d0041-fea9-5ade-8a79-19bdcf3ca751)

Chapter Three (#uc1a91fb1-81fa-5dcf-bcda-02739b519d46)

Chapter Four (#u3f024d6b-c18d-50e3-8ea4-d0fe4c2e09aa)

Chapter Five (#u6951ce12-4b8a-5d4a-b21c-ffd58a4d6744)

Chapter Six (#ueacbb7dc-5ac6-5f28-a70a-170a002d55e5)

Chapter Seven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eight (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nine (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Ten (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eleven (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twelve (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Thirteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fourteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Fifteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Sixteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Seventeen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Eighteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Nineteen (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter Twenty-One (#litres_trial_promo)

Acknowledgements (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Author (#litres_trial_promo)

Praise (#litres_trial_promo)

Also by the Author (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

Chapter One (#ulink_d5681187-aedf-55e1-bfdf-61dd551c6814)

There is a very small envelope of seduction time available between the stages ‘just pissed enough’ and ‘disastrously over-pissed’, and suddenly, Katie wasn’t sure she was going to make it.

This man sitting in front of her wore little heels on his shoes, she remembered, swaying slightly. She’d noticed under the chippy, awkwardly tiny bar table in this stupid new bar called Square Root. OK, he was her first date in four months, and she had her best bra on, but still, she really ought to have paid more attention to the shoes…it was just, it had been a difficult week.

It had started on Sunday. Louise was still on her international bang-athon, leaving her and Olivia, who came around on Sundays to avoid getting inky fingerprints on her pristine white sofa, studiously reading the papers, watching EastEnders and ignoring the obvious sounds of sexual intercourse coming from the spare bedroom.

‘How come Kat Slater is really fat and covered in slap and millions of men are in love with her?’ Katie had asked.

There was a particularly vigorous grunting noise.

‘Umm,’ Olivia squeezed her eyes shut. ‘For the same reason everyone’s in love with Phil even though he looks like a barnyard animal. Drugs.’

‘OK,’ said Katie loudly, ‘I UNDERSTAND.’

There was an endless tense moment next door as everything went quiet. The two girls looked at one another. There was a pause. Then the ritual banging started again.

‘Jesus,’ said Olivia. She looked at Katie. ‘Couldn’t you have bought a bigger flat?’

‘In North London?’ Katie nodded. ‘Sure! I should have gone for the rooftop swimming pool. And the maid’s quarters. I’m a complete idiot.’

‘I’m just saying.’ Olivia believed in karma and therefore probably did think having a tiny flat and a huge mortgage in Kentish Town was Katie’s fault.

Katie loudly turned the page.

‘Bloody hell!’ she exploded.