How Did All This Happen?
John Bishop
If you’re a man of a certain age you’ll know there comes a point in life when getting a sports car and over-analysing your contribution to society sounds like a really good idea.With a good job in sales and marketing and a nice house in Manchester that he shared with his wife and kids, John Bishop was no different when he turned the dreaded 4-0. But instead of spanking a load of cash on a car that would have made him look like a senior stylist at Vidal Sassoon, he stumbled onto a pathway that ultimately lead him to become one of the nation’s best loved comedians. It was a gamble, but boy, did it pay off.How Did All This Happen? is the story of how a boy who, growing up on a council estate dreaming of ousting Kenny Dalglish from Liverpool FC’s starting line-up, suddenly found himself on stage in front of thousands of people nationwide, at an age when he should have known better.In his own inimitable style, John guides us through his life from leaving the estate and travelling the globe on a shoe string, to marriage, kids and the split that led him to being on a stage complaining to strangers one night – the night that changed his life and started his journey to stardom.Wonderfully entertaining and packed with colourful reminiscences and comical anecdotes, this is a heart-warming, life-affirming and ultimately very, very funny memoir from one of the nation’s greatest comedians.
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First published by HarperCollinsPublishers 2013
FIRST EDITION
© John Bishop 2013
A catalogue record of this book is available from the British Library
All images are © the author, with the following exceptions:
Image 9 used courtesy of the Southport Visiter; Image 10 © Runcorn & Widnes World; Image 15 and 16 © Steve Porter (Potsy), Image 17 and 18 © Ged McCann; Image 32 © Daniel Sutka; Image 37 © Paul Home, Image 39 © Harvey Collard; Image 41 © Mark Taylor/tangerine; Image 42 © Hamish Brown, Image 43 © ITV/Kieron McCarron; Image 46 © Des Willie, Image 47 © Rhian Ap Gruffydd, Image 48 and 49 © Tom Dymond; Image 50 and 51 © Rhian Ap Gruffydd; Image 52, 53 and 54 © Rhian Ap Gruffydd, Image 55 © Tom Dymond.
Cover layout design © HarperCollinsPublishers Ltd 2014 Cover photographs © Rankin
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Source ISBN: 9780007436125
Ebook Edition © October 2013 ISBN: 9780007436156
Version: 2014-07-17
This book is dedicated to Melanie and our sons Joe, Luke and Daniel.
You give me a reason for everything.
CONTENTS
Cover (#u23e1b1cf-71a2-5333-8957-dbee4fcdf9c9)
Title Page (#ubabfb408-33e7-5a46-9676-b9cf4b6ab9da)
Copyright
Dedication (#ub60dd1f3-3d35-56be-972b-946c7a647601)
Acknowledgements
Foreword
1. Hello World
2. My Dad and Cars
3. A Boy Learning Adult Lessons
4. School and a Friend Called Kieran
5. Teenage Kicks
6. All I Learnt in School
7. Newcastle
8. I Don’t Eat Meat, or Fight Paratroopers
9. Moving On
10. The Manchester Years
11. The Great U S of A
12. Football
13. Time to Grow Up
14. Learning to Ride
15. Road to Bangkok
16. Indian Days
17. A Day in Buxton Changed Everything
18. A Yank Called Joe
19. A Town That Didn’t Exist
20. Marriage, Fatherhood and Idiot Friends
21. Babies, a Surprise I Didn’t Want and the Snip
22. Bad Hair Day, Removal Vans and Broken Hearts
23. Frog and Bucket