The Gentle Birth Method: The Month-by-Month Jeyarani Way Programme

The midwives then ran me a bath and the next hour was spent gazing at our daughter, breastfeeding and absorbing the experience we had just been through. Over the following weeks, I found that in contrast to my first birth I was left feeling elated and empowered. I was amazed at the speed of my recovery, there were no stitches, no complications and the bruising cleared within a few days. I found I was able to cope much more easily with everything.

I know that Gowri’s help made an enormous difference to my second experience of birth. I was mentally and physically prepared and although the birth of my first child made me apprehensive, Gowri’s approach enormously reduced the fear I felt and gave me the confidence to enjoy a natural birth. I now feel very strongly about the benefits for all women of following Gowri’s advice and, in particular, her mental and physical preparation techniques. I am currently awaiting the birth of my third child and I have once again found Gowri’s support invaluable in preparation. I just wish that all women were routinely offered the kind of care and support that she has given me.

The Gentle Birth Method Treatments

One of the most important factors in the success of The Gentle Birth Method is that it helps eradicate many of the problems encountered during pregnancy – such as back pain, nausea, heartburn, fluid retention and so on. Much of this is due to the intensive therapies included in the programme. As well as being heartily welcomed by my mothers for the ‘pamper factor’, these therapies are a quick and effective way of rebalancing the body and tailoring it into optimum condition for the birthing process. In a nutshell, The Gentle Birth Method makes the mother birthfit in all 3 realms: physical, mental and emotional.

The Origins of the Treatment Programme

As the number of women presenting congested vaginas and enormous babies continued to rise, I realized my role as a Senior Registrar meant I was simply becoming an expert in crisis management. By the time I became involved in the mother’s care, there was rarely anything I could do to help them, except intervene with forceps, ventouse or scalpel. It saddened me and was not why I had entered the profession. Every birth is a miracle, and should be a personal triumph for every woman. Why was it so rapidly becoming something fewer and fewer women could achieve without help? I fully believed doctors and the medical establishment should be investigating preventative measures that would help women prime their bodies for birth, before they went into labour. The diet I devised was certainly a step towards helping women control the size of their babies and condition their bodies for birth – but it wasn’t a coping mechanism for the realities of labour. It came as a flash to me that all I needed to do was to create a total birthfitness programme and to make the mother birthfit so that they could have the gentle birth they wanted. Hence I began researching front line treatments that would boost the detoxifying effects of the diet but also help with pain management.

It was at this time that Michel Odent conducted the first waterbirth, in Pithiviers general hospital near Paris in France. The idea of mothers delivering their babies in water excited my interest. When an opportunity to meet Odent came up, I jumped at the chance and learnt what clinical conditions he created for the waterbirths.

It all sounded quite simple, but knowing the hospital wouldn’t indulge my ‘fancies’, I purchased a pool from my own pocket and put it in a room at the far end of the obstetric corridor in Whipps Cross Hospital. I instructed the midwives – some of whom clearly thought I’d lost my marbles – to let me know of any mothers who were interested in the idea of a waterbirth and soon a few did come forward. Imagine my frustration then, when after a few hours of staying in the pool, they would politely ask to go back to their rooms.

It was clear that sitting in the water in itself wasn’t enough to reduce the pain of labour, nor to shorten it. So, with a group of seven mothers – I call them my ‘pioneer mothers’ – we started some self-hypnosis classes, incorporating visualizations and learning how to breathe and relax, thereby adding a mental element to the birth preparations.

At the same time, I was approached by two reflexologists, Mary Martin and Helen Chittick, who volunteered their services to the antenatal clinic on a Friday afternoon. The benefits of reflexology in helping certain medical conditions, such as high blood pressure, were already well documented, so I was willing to refer mothers with high blood pressure to be treated with reflexology. In every single one of these cases, the mother’s blood pressure went down. Word quickly spread through the clinic and I started getting mothers presenting with different problems. I remember one mother in particular, who had developed severe Diastasis Symphysis Pubis in her pregnancy (DSP causes severe pubic pain and instability as the pubic joint begins to separate under pressure from the pregnancy and the influence of pregnancy hormones). Her condition was so painful that she couldn’t walk and had to use a wheelchair. However, after just three reflexology treatments, she was able to get out of her wheelchair and walk again. I was very impressed. Along with this clinical antenatal success, we made another startling discovery – those mothers who had received reflexology treatments delivered their babies in much shorter times. Some mothers were delivering in 5-6 hours, as opposed to the commonly observed 18-hour labours. One 46-year-old woman delivered within a few hours of being in labour, which made me realize that it’s not your chronological age that determines your birth experience, but your biological age. A toxic lifestyle – i.e. smoking, alcohol, junk food and a lack of exercise – can make the tissues of a woman in her twenties function rather poorly; conversely an older mum can function amazingly well physiologically if she commits to a healthy lifestyle with optimum nutrition and a physical fitness programme.

The Power of Touch

Have you noticed how nearly everyone you meet is compelled to touch your bump? People almost can’t help themselves. A baby bump is intrinsically soothing to the human psyche and even those who wouldn’t presume to kiss you in greeting, reach out their hands to share – for a fleeting moment – the joy of contact with an unborn child.

The power of touch is well documented. Our bodies surge with feel-good endorphins when we are stroked and caressed, boosting our immune systems, dulling our responses to pain and even contributing to a longer life. And the good news is this effect is enhanced yet further during pregnancy. Your increased blood volume not only contributes to a blooming complexion, strong nails and glossy hair, but also means the tiny blood vessels beneath your skin are positively tingling for touch.

Throughout this book, I will show you and your partner how to use touch in a myriad of ways – for example, to deepen self-hypnosis, bond with your baby and reduce your chances of a vaginal tear. A lot of the recommended treatments are technical procedures and require a qualified therapist but, where possible, I’ve adapted certain massage techniques so that you can do them at home. In some instances, you can do them on yourself, although it is best if your partner becomes involved in the treatments. I would like to think that most of you reading this book will share the advice on these pages and work together as a unit – as a family.

Even before birth, you can nurture your baby into a relaxed and loved little individual. Whenever your partner massages you, he is soothing his baby too. Remember, your baby receives physiological support from you on a continuous basis and also picks up on all your feelings. So, when you feel loved and supported by your partner, so does your baby, absorbing all your endorphins. In turn, special hormones that are released from the baby’s placenta prepare you for the birth process and motherhood. A ten-minute massage by your partner not only relaxes you but sends a wave of fresh, nourishing oxygen to the womb and placenta. It’s an intimate opportunity for you to snuggle up as a family and pass on thoughts of love and safety to your baby – what more powerful incentive can there be to make every day of your pregnancy as happy, stress-free and precious as possible?

So surrender to the treatments I list on these pages – they’re not cosmetic treatments, all have a direct physiological effect on your birthfitness: realigning your joints, super-boosting the detoxifying effects of the diet and moulding your muscles to become loose, pliable, soft and flexible for birth. Just as importantly – you’ll feel pampered in the process!

The Father’s Role

Did you know that as a father you are also expecting? If you thought the bump/cramps/pain bit was the mother’s domain, think again. OK, so you’re not going to grow a bump, you’re not going to be woken with leg cramps in the middle of the night and, no, you don’t need to go through labour – but pregnancy is not something that just happens to the mother for nine months. Having a baby is a shared adventure.

You don’t suddenly become a father when the baby finally emerges. You’re a father already. From the moment you see the little shape on the ultrasound monitor and see the smile on your partner’s face, you can start bonding with your baby. The comic view of the expectant father is of a desperate man driving around at 2am trying to find pickled onions to satisfy the mother’s cravings and desperately trying to put up shelves in the nursery as the male nesting instinct translates into frantic DIY. But your role in pregnancy doesn’t just have to be practical stuff and ‘doing’ things.

Your body may not be engaged in pregnancy, but your heart and mind can be. Your baby, growing inside your partner’s belly, already recognizes and loves your voice and your touch. And for your partner too, your role in the pregnancy is absolutely crucial. Feeling looked after and cared for is a powerful tool in the mother’s emotional preparation for birth – the more she learns to trust and rely on you for support, the more she will instinctively feel safe surrendering her body and freeing her mind from the mechanics of labour.

So when your partner asks you to read to her a visualization that involves imagining the inside of her pelvis, or to help her build up an emotional dreamscape for her ‘safe place’, be enthusiastic. Knowledge is understanding, is empathy, is sharing, is bonding – is family.

You may know every last curve of your partner’s body but by reading this book you can also learn about how she is growing your baby. Become an expert, a connoisseur of her body. Read its messages, anticipate its demands; love, nurture, cherish it – and in so doing, you love, nurture and cherish your baby. Whatever your relationship history up until this point, pregnancy is a new chapter that offers opportunities to be a better partner and the best father.

Father’s Tip: Belly bonding

It has been proven that a baby in the womb can distinguish its father’s touch from an unfamiliar hand on the mother’s tummy. So take every opportunity to stroke your partner’s belly, talk to your baby and play touch games (like ‘round and round the garden…’). You may feel silly doing this while your baby is still in the womb but your baby knows it’s you and it’s an invaluable opportunity to start bonding.

Touch Tips

Exchange gentle oil massages with your partner. These are instant body boosts that will calm and relax you. Add 2-3 drops of lavender oil to 20ml of base oil (for example, olive or sunflower oil) and take turns massaging each other’s feet for 10 minutes each evening. This helps relax the whole body and is a caring way to bond as you prepare for parenthood.

Share oil baths together and softly stroke your ‘baby bump’. This soothes and relaxes the baby, as well as nourishing your skin, keeping the skin elastic and supple, and preventing stretch marks.

Your Baby Keeps You Young

Your baby will help keep you young. In India, my grandmother always told me the age you are when you become a mother, is the age you stay. Of course, she meant emotionally, but there is some physical truth in it as well. Cosmetic companies have long been aware of the replenishing properties of placental hormones and growth factors, and use them in anti-ageing programmes and skin rejuvenation creams. Science has shown that the baby’s placenta produces growth factors that circulate into the mother’s bloodstream. Hence rejuvenation is a natural gift from the baby to the mother!

Overview of the Treatments

Reflexology

What is it?

Reflexology is a unique system of therapeutic foot massage that targets precise reflex points. It is based on the premise that the feet are mini maps of the body and every reflex area on the foot relates to a vital organ in the body. The philosophy behind the treatment is that life force, or prana, circulates in a balanced, rhythmic way throughout the body. If this energy is disrupted, say by an injury, then signals are transmitted down energy channels, within the body, to the feet. Here they manifest as thickenings, or tiny nodules that feel like grains of sand, in the reflex areas of the feet that correspond to the area of injury on the body.

Its pedigree

Reflexology has an esteemed history. Like acupuncture, it has been used in China and India for over 5000 years. In Egypt, ancient hieroglyphic drawings have been found that depict royal persons receiving reflexology with the caption ‘you shall thank me for the pain’ (when the nodules are massaged to break down the granules it can be painful). There is also evidence that Native American tribes knew of the relationship between the reflex points and the internal organs of the body and used this knowledge to treat disease. Reflexology has been steadily assimilated as a complement to conventional Western medicine since the 1870s, in the fields of dentistry, gynaecology, chiropractice, chest medicine, orthopaedics and ENT. In addition, it is now being used in a growing number of other specialities within UK hospitals and in general practice clinics within the NHS.

Reflexology in pregnancy

My inclusion of reflexology in the initial pregnancy strategies that I developed was accidental, yet it is now one of the most powerful tools in my programme. You may find, as you have more and more treatments, it helps to identify areas within your body that need cleansing. Many of my mothers find their feet are indicators of their internal health and enjoy finding out how the reflex areas are improving with reflexology as the weeks go by. As mothers progress through their pregnancies, they are quick to point out specific areas of tenderness in their feet that correspond to a physical weakness elsewhere, such as a tender sciatic nerve.

Reflexology is very safe in pregnancy, and is instrumental in helping 45.5 per cent of my mothers give birth at the optimum gestation of 40 weeks. At term, it can be effective in initiating contractions and labour by stimulating the pituitary, adrenal and uterine reflex areas.

Note: In the early weeks of pregnancy (up to 12 weeks), before the placenta is fully established, I generally advise a gentle foot massage, concentrating on light drainage and working only on the upper areas of the foot. Along with this I recommend positive visualization and Reiki. In the month-by-month guide on pages 131-83, there are specific indications for reflexology at different stages of pregnancy.

What it can do for you in pregnancy

Reduce and normalize high blood pressure (hypertension). Weekly treatments of reflexology for 30-45 minutes usually reduces high blood pressure and can help you avoid repeated admission to hospital for rest and observation

Normalize low blood pressure

Eliminate oedema and reduce swelling in feet and ankles

Prevent heartburn

Improve sleep quality

Clear headaches

Relieve varicose veins

Clear pelvic congestion

Improve lymphatic drainage and complement the effects of the recommended eating plan

Aid digestion by boosting the pancreatic secretion of digestive hormones – the pancreas can become sluggish during pregnancy due to the effect of the placental hormones