A Precious Gift

“I guess that will have to wait until we get back from San Francisco. Maybe you can make an appointment for Friday.”

“She’s homeless now. She needs a place to stay now.”

His brows drew together at her unexpectedly adamant tone. “I can’t cancel this trip.”

“I’m not asking you to cancel it, but I don’t have to go with you. If I call Brenda and explain, I know she’ll understand. I can see her another time. I can go meet Lisa today.”

“I was counting on you to be at dinner tonight.”

“Is that really necessary? Isn’t adopting a baby more important than showing me off to one of your clients?” As soon as the words were out, she couldn’t believe she’d said them.

“That’s the way you feel about coming to dinner with me?”

Except for keeping her secret, she’d always been honest with Brian and she knew she had to be now. “Sometimes that’s the way I feel. Don’t you see, Brian, that I need to be more than a wife who was once a model, more than a wife who can facilitate conversation and give great parties?”

Her attitude seemed to baffle him. “You picked a great time to bring this up.”

“I’m sorry. I know you have to leave.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

“No. I want to meet this girl. There’s a possibility we could adopt her child, and I want to talk to her today. I don’t want to miss this opportunity. I don’t want us to miss this opportunity.”

Frustration creased his brow. “Fine. You stay. I’ll get your suitcase from the car.”

When he turned to go, she clasped his arm. “You do still want to adopt, don’t you?”

“I want a child, Carrie. That doesn’t mean I want a girl from the streets living here with us to accomplish that.”

When Carrie released her husband’s arm, he strode away.

Why had she said what she had? Why couldn’t she let the meeting wait until Friday?

Because she felt as if a gulf was widening between her and Brian and if she didn’t do something quickly, the distance between them could become permanent.

The instant Carrie laid eyes on Lisa Sanders a few hours later, she thought about catching the next flight to San Francisco and spending the day as she’d first intended. After introducing them to each other, Trina had left them alone.

Lisa was sitting in a chair in front of Trina’s desk. Her hair was short and spiky, half red and half blond. Three earrings decorated both ears. There was a peace sign tattooed on her right wrist and an upside-down mermaid on her left arm. An oversized green T-shirt covered her belly and drooped over her jeans. Her pretty heart-shaped face was marred by green eyeshadow and purple lipstick. Carrie had spotted defiance in her big green eyes as soon as she’d walked into Trina’s office.

Carrie knew what it felt like to be alone and lost and adrift without an anchor. She saw Lisa studying everything about her from her hair to her shoes. All she could do with this teenager was to be herself and hope it was enough.

Sitting across from Lisa in a matching chair, she opened conversation with, “I understand you’re looking for a couple to adopt your baby.”

The teenager’s eyes widened as if she hadn’t expected Carrie to be so forthright. Out of the blue she commented, “You’re pretty. You used to be a model?”

From everything in her and Brian’s file, she hadn’t expected Lisa to ask her about that. “I used to be.”

“Were you a runway model?”

“At the beginning. Then I was offered a contract with Modern Woman Cosmetics.”

“Were you on TV?”

“Yes, I was.”

“Wow. You really made it, then. Why’d you stop?”

“I got married. We wanted to have a family and modeling didn’t fit into that.”

“Your husband made you stop?”

“No. It was my choice. I decided to be a supportive wife, instead of a famous model.” She said it lightly, but she suddenly realized she’d given up a lot of her independence when she’d left her profession.

“I’ve always wanted to model,” Lisa said wistfully. “But now…” She folded her hands over her belly.

Carrie hoped Lisa hadn’t picked her and Brian to talk to and possibly adopt her baby simply because she was interested in Carrie’s past as a model.

“After you have your baby, you can be anything you want.”

“Don’t try to snow me,” Lisa snapped. “We both know a homeless, unwed mother isn’t going to get very far in this world.”

“Don’t be so sure. And don’t underestimate yourself.”

Lisa gave Carrie’s outfit another once-over. “You probably came from a family with plenty of money. What would you know?” she muttered.

After a few moments of debate with herself, Carrie decided to share some of her background. “My parents were on welfare when I was growing up. I know a lot about being poor, Lisa. So does my husband. I sort of fell into modeling. My mother sent my picture into a contest and my career began there. With Brian, he’s worked hard to become successful and he’s done it all on his own.”

When a long silence stretched between them, Carrie asked, “How did you become homeless?”

“I thought you’d ask how I got pregnant.” There was a wryness to Lisa’s tone.

“I think we both know how you did that. I want to know what brought you here and why you want to give up your baby.”

Lisa stood, rubbed the small of her back, went to the window and looked out into the cloudy Portland winter. A stiff January wind was blowing the branches of maples and alders on the hospital complex.

In a monotone, she explained, “My parents were killed in an accident a few years ago. The only family I had left was Aunt Edna. She lived in Seattle and that’s where they sent me.”

“You were from Portland?”

“Yeah. I grew up here, but I couldn’t stay. Our house was sold and they gave the money to my aunt to take care of me. Only she didn’t. All she cared about were her soap operas. She went to bed at nine o’clock every night and thought I should get up with her at six in the morning. I hated living there. That’s why I spent so much time with Thad. I thought he was cool. I thought he cared about me—”

Her voice broke off and Carrie felt so sorry for her.

Lisa composed herself and said bitterly, “He cared about one thing. That’s all that was ever on his mind. I thought it meant he loved me. Love didn’t have anything to do with it.”

“I’m sure he must have cared—”

Lisa cut her off. “He cared so much, he told me he’d never admit to being the father. He said he’d tell everybody that I slept around. He said he had plans to get drafted by the NFL and no girl or baby was going to change that.”