A Precious Gift

Restraining the desire to tell Lisa to take her sneakered feet off the mahogany coffee table and change the loud music-video station on the TV to something quieter, he counted to ten. So many questions clicked through his head as he felt anger rise at Carrie for putting them in this position.

However, when he caught the worried expression on his wife’s face, he kept his tone as casual as he could. “You must be Lisa.” His gut told him nothing about having this teenager around would be easy.

As she finished eating a banana, she proved his instincts right when she defiantly asked, “Why must I be Lisa? Because I’m pregnant or because my hair is more than one color?” She cast a defiant glance at Carrie. “What did you tell him about me?”

The teenager didn’t seem to ruffle Carrie as his wife replied, “I told him you’ve lost your parents and you have nowhere to go.”

“My wife told me very little,” Brian said. “I think she wanted me to meet you and form my own conclusions. Do you think you could turn down the sound on the TV?”

Lisa gave him a look that said this whole interview was an imposition.

But he wasn’t going to let her make him feel uncomfortable in his own house. “I think we should talk if you’re going to stay here.”

With that she took her feet from the coffee table, flipped a banana peel into the waste can next to the sofa and switched off the TV. “If you don’t want me here, you’d better say so now.”

“I don’t know you,” he admitted freely. “Carrie made the decision to ask you to stay here without talking to me first.”

“She has to check with you on everything?”

“We’re married, Lisa. Married couples discuss major decisions. This is one of those, especially if you decide to let us adopt your baby.”

Lisa focused her attention on Carrie. “Were you afraid he’d say no if you asked him?”

After a glance at him Carrie answered, “After I met you, I decided we could both benefit from this arrangement. You need a roof over your head, and we want to adopt.”

“And he could put up with anything for a month?”

“Something like that,” Carrie confessed with a small smile to lighten the atmosphere.

Some of the tension seemed to leave Lisa’s shoulders, although Brian didn’t feel any more at ease. Now she addressed him again. “Do you want a baby as much as Carrie does?”

“We want a family,” he said.

“You want a baby,” Lisa pressed.

“Yes.” Seeing Lisa’s large belly brought home the reality that he could be a father much sooner than he’d expected.

Carrie sat beside Lisa on the sofa. “I know this is overwhelming, and I know you don’t feel at home here yet—”

Sliding to the edge of the sofa cushion, Lisa pushed herself up to her feet. “At home? I shouldn’t even think about feeling at home. Even if this does work out, I’ll be gone in a month. Not much different from the shelter, though it is a lot better furnished.” She looked squarely at Brian. “So am I staying or leaving?”

He hated being pushed into a corner, and it was reflexive for him to fight to get out. Yet he had to be careful he didn’t shatter their dreams because he was angry at Carrie. Looking at his wife now, he could see she was worried. About Lisa? About his reaction?

His answer for Lisa came quickly. “You can stay.”

To his surprise, he didn’t see relief on her face, or gratitude. Passing by him, the teenager stopped at the doorway to the living room, turned and threw over her shoulder, “If I decide not to give you the baby, you’ll throw me out, won’t you?”

Carrie rose to her feet. After a look at Brian, she replied softly, “No. You need a place to stay until your baby is born. No matter what happens, that won’t change.”

Lisa looked at Brian. “Does that go for you, too?”

Whatever had gotten into Carrie, this was apparently important to her. “My wife made you a promise. I’ll abide by that.”

If Lisa felt thankful at his words, she didn’t show it. Instead she headed for the guest bedroom next to his study.

After her footsteps had faded away, Brian turned to Carrie. “She’s going to be more than you bargained for.”

“She’s scared. Can’t you see that?”

“No, I can’t. But then she didn’t give me the opportunity to find out much about her. I have lots of questions, Carrie. What kind of baby will we be adopting? What kind of life has she led since she’s been on the streets? Is she taking drugs? Who’s the father? Does she even know?”

Carrie held up a hand to stop the barrage. “She knows who the father is. The caseworker has already contacted him and he’s given up his parental rights. There’s no evidence Lisa has taken drugs. If I can get to know her better, maybe she’ll tell me more. The bottom line is, Brian, if she gives us this child can we love him or her, no matter what, the same as we would our own child?”

“You’re asking a hell of a lot, Carrie. We could have tried in vitro again. A surrogate might even be better than this. At least she’d be screened and the child would be half mine.”

“We tried in vitro twice and it didn’t work. I can’t go through that again, Brian—the waiting, the hoping. And as far as a surrogate goes, can you only father a child that was made with your sperm? Is that what you’re saying?”

Rubbing the back of his neck, he shook his head. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. There are so many unknown factors here. You made an impulsive decision based on emotion!”

“I made a decision because we want to be parents. It isn’t only Lisa’s baby. I think she has the attitude she does because she thinks we’re trying to use her, that we aren’t going to really care about her. During our interview today, I began caring about her. That’s why I asked her to stay here.”

The truth was, he felt ambushed. He felt as if Carrie had crossed some line that defined them as a couple by making this decision on her own. He knew he hadn’t completely dealt with the disappointment of not raising a child that he and Carrie had created together.

“If you want to give this girl a home for now, we’ll do that. As far as the baby goes, we don’t have to commit to this child until Lisa commits to us. By that time, maybe we’ll have more answers. I know you want her to like us. I know you want her to see us as the best couple to raise her baby. But we can’t pretend to be what we’re not, either.”

“Don’t you think we do pretend sometimes?” Carrie asked quietly.

“Pretend what?”

“Pretend to be happier than we are—at parties, with other couples, even sometimes when we’re alone.”

Her words were as shocking as a plunge into ice water. “Aren’t you happy?”

“I am, but… Since we’ve been trying to have a baby, ever since we’ve had trouble trying to have a baby, things have changed between us. Don’t you feel that?”

Changed? He hadn’t felt anything change until today. After a moment’s consideration, he responded, “I think we’ve both been on a roller-coaster and that’s taken its toll.”

“We’re still on the roller-coaster.”

His wife had never looked so troubled. Even as frustrated as he was with her at this moment, her beauty—inside and out—always got to him. “I guess we are. Somehow we’ll have to figure out how to survive the hills and dips together. Isn’t that what marriage is all about?”

“Yes, it’s just—” Giving him a slight smile she shook her head. “Never mind. I’m going to see if Lisa needs anything.”

Before Carrie could leave the room, Brian clasped her hand.

She stopped and faced him.

“I want you to be happy, Carrie. I want this all to work out.”