The Perfect Location

Calypso looked at Helen, the costume head, who shook her head slightly as if to say, I don’t know what bug got up his ass.

Calypso slipped on denim shorts and a pink singlet, and sliding into her sandals, she stomped out of the trailer. ‘Isn’t it kinda hard to be behind when you haven’t started shooting yet?’ she retorted to TG.

This was going to be a nightmare, she thought as she walked towards the set.

TG wanted to kick himself. He knew he was being an asshole; he was always an asshole when he was nervous. Walking towards the set, he headed towards Calypso, wanting to apologize, but she was deep in conversation with Kelly. No doubt telling her what a prick he was, he thought, as he saw Kelly turn and throw a death stare in his direction. Fuck, now he was going to face the wrath of ‘Kali’, as she called herself when she got mad.

Rose and Sapphira came on set, perfect in their costume and make-up. He called the women over. ‘So, this is where we meet you all. Sapphira, your character is already at the villa. Calypso, you have just turned up, with no idea where you are, lost and looking for help. Rose, you know what you are doing?’

Rose nodded.

‘Let’s run it a few times and get the feel,’ TG said.

While the actors walked through the lines and found their marks, the crew were busy, fixing the lighting and the sound. Props were moving items to work with the actors’ marks, and make-up stood by waiting to do touch-ups if needed.

The actors had a natural chemistry and looked like a dream through the camera. TG felt they were ready to shoot. Four takes later and they had it in the can. There’d been a spark as soon as TG yelled ‘action’ and each of them brought their own specialness to the roles. Calypso was perfect, her flustered comedic timing brought lightness to the sadness of Rose’s character who was mourning her husband. And Sapphira brought the right amount of enigmatic pathos to her role, balancing out the others perfectly.

‘Fucking excellent!’ yelled TG as he watched the playbacks. The crew all clapped, as was the ritual when the first shot was done on the shoot.

The morning went like a dream, all of the actors being pleasant and professional. Rose and Calypso instantly bonded and even Sapphira was seen joking with some of the guys in the crew. The assistant director called ‘lunch’ and the actors and crew walked over to catering. Every imaginable sort of food was laid out in front of them. American, Italian and even some French. TG grabbed a tray and stood while Kelly helped herself to salad, cheeses and bread. Without looking up at him, she asked, ‘Why are you being a dick to Calypso?’

‘I didn’t think I was,’ he said, knowing it was an outright lie.

‘Well, you are, and it’s stressing her out. She thinks you think she’s fat and stupid. What the hell did you say to her?’

‘Nothing. Oh you know, I said something and it came out wrong and then every time I see her I say something even more stupid than the last time. It’s like I’ve got Tourette’s or something. I’ll apologize.’

‘You better, ’cause the acting you just saw was bloody good from her and the more relaxed she is the better she performs. I worked with her on the Bazaar shoot and when she’s chilled she is a dream,’ she said, waving the salad tongs at him.

TG put down his tray and walked towards Calypso’s trailer. Rose and Sapphira were eating with the crew, but Calypso had headed off for time by herself – never a good sign. This film was only going to work if the crew became like a family and right now he had a problem. He saw her door was open, and as he climbed the step he heard her talking.

‘He is so mean to me, Mom. He yells at me and I swear he thinks I’m fat. I said I ate a pastry and then he saw me in costume today and looked at me like I was a freaking elephant.’

She paused. ‘Mom, it was one pastry! I know, I know, I’ll go for a run. Yes. No, I don’t want you to come over. I’m fine. Rose is nice and Kelly is sweet to me. I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl now. I just hate him. I hate him all the time!’

Calypso sounded like a small child and TG felt awful. Now was not the right time to see her; he would wait and try to make it up to her on set that afternoon.

The afternoon shooting went better but Calypso didn’t speak to TG unless he spoke to her first. Any questions she had about her character she ran by Sapphira and Rose, who were really helpful and ran lines with her off set. Rose was great at helping Calypso dissect the script to find the hidden clues about the character, and Sapphira offered different ways to say the lines, which Calypso found inspiring.

‘There is no one way. I think finding the right reaction is a process. There is no immediate right response. You can explore and then if you want to use the original choice, then great, but it’s worth finding out,’ Sapphira explained as she and Calypso sat in Calypso’s trailer talking.

‘You’re so smart. How do you know all this?’ asked Calypso admiringly. Sapphira was not quite as weird as she had first thought. Calypso had broken through Sapphira’s defensive attitude with sheer persistence and by the end of the first day Calypso hugged her. ‘You’re a saint, Sapphira. I would have been lost today without you and Rose.’

‘You’ll be fine, sweetie. You just gotta believe it,’ Sapphira said with a casual wave as she walked to her car.

TG was so busy he didn’t have time to speak to Calypso and before he knew it they had wrapped for the day and the crew had packed up.

Kelly and Chris walked over. ‘Dinner at yours tonight?’ asked Chris.

‘Sure, sure, make it a bit later though. I have to go through today’s rushes and call LA.’

Kelly glared at him; he was not looking forward to tonight’s date. He watched Calypso walk over to her car. She turned and looked at him; he felt sick in his stomach. ‘Don’t hate me,’ he said under his breath. He smiled and waved goodbye at her.

Calypso looked at him blankly, and then slipped in the back seat and the car drove off. On the drive to her hotel, she was confused. Maybe he was one of those uptight directors who was a tyrant on set and a teddy bear off. Too hard, she thought, as the car sped along the dusty roads towards the main highway. He wasn’t worth thinking about, she thought. Closing her eyes, she let the day and TG slip from her mind.

CHAPTER SEVEN

Calypso waited in Sapphira’s trailer while the set was readied for their scene. Sapphira had asked her to run lines, which Calypso was grateful for, although she thought that Sapphira had the lines down fine. It was Calypso who needed the practice. Marco was taking up most of her time outside of filming and yesterday TG had yelled at her when she flubbed a few lines.

Sapphira had watched with interest. There was no doubt TG had a crush on Calypso but he decided to play the school-yard card and treat her unfairly, thought Sapphira. He was so conscious of not playing favourites that Calypso was being bullied in a way.

‘Don’t worry about him,’ said Sapphira quietly as the focus puller measured them for the next shot. ‘He’s just a bit uptight, big pressure on him from the studio, no doubt. But I’ve worked with worse directors, at least he’s not Jerry Hyman, what a cunt.’

‘That’s terrible word,’ she said shocked.

‘What, hyman?’ asked Sapphira, being deliberately ignorant.

‘No, the other one, the C word.’

‘The C word, Jesus, you’re uptight,’ laughed Sapphira and Calypso felt very unsophisticated and young.

‘TG is so weird around me,’ whispered Calypso. ‘The other day he saw me in costume in my bra and panties and he yelled at me.’

Sapphira made a face.

‘What?’ asked Calypso at the sight of Sapphira’s face.

‘Let’s make a deal, you don’t say the word panties and I won’t say the word cunt. They’re both equally offensive in my book,’ Sapphira stated.

Calypso laughed. ‘What’s wrong with panties?’

Sapphira shuddered, ‘Horrible word.’

‘So is the C word.’

Sapphira sighed, and Calypso changed the subject.

‘I shouldn’t have done this film, I was offered an action movie for much more money. I wish I’d done it.’ Calypso sounded forlorn and Sapphira felt sorry for her.

Sapphira laughed quietly. ‘Been there, done that. It’s all bullshit, babe, don’t get stuck in that genre, so hard to break out of.’

Calypso said nothing as Chris came and checked the measurements of his assistant and then went back behind the camera.

‘You know why I think he’s being a fuckwit?’ asked Sapphira.

‘Why?’ said Calypso grumpily.

‘I think he’s got a crush on you,’ she said as Kelly walked onto the set to adjust Sapphira’s powdered face. ‘That’s why he yelled at you in your underwear,’ she said, emphasizing the last word.