One More Kiss

There was something exciting about him—there always had been. He exuded male confidence, and he had from the moment he’d walked up to her at the roulette table and teasingly asked her for a kiss. She’d given it to him and he’d placed all his money on the table and won. He’d called her his lucky charm and spent the rest of that night and the next four days wining and dining her. He’d made her feel as if she was the most beautiful and exciting woman in the world.

And she’d heard the saying “older and wiser” but somehow, where he was concerned, she wasn’t any wiser. She wanted to walk over to him, turn him away from the table and straddle his lap while she kissed him long and deep.

“Margaritas, eh?” he asked.

“I’ve got to lay off the margaritas,” she said, trying to sound wry but knowing she just sounded a little pathetic. It was after a night of drinking one too many strawberry margaritas that she’d agreed to marry Jay.

“I don’t know about that. Sweet Dreams seems to have paid off,” he said. “And everyone’s heard of your bakery. Although it wasn’t what I’d expected.”

“What did you expect?” she asked.

He shrugged and looked away from her. “I don’t know. I was kind of hoping you’d be waiting for me to come back.”

“You left me,” she said, not able to keep the incredulity out of her voice. “And I divorced you, remember?”

“I know. It was a fantasy,” he admitted. “I knew you wouldn’t be. You have a very strong sense of self. I think that is part of what made me leave. You had your own dreams. Your own desires.”

She nodded at him. She didn’t want to travel or be a military man’s wife. Her life had been rooted here in Southern California long before she’d opened Sweet Dreams.

“You surprised me, Alysse. You still do. I’m very proud of your success even though I know I have no right to be.”

She picked up her glass and took a dainty mouthful of wine. Trying for an attitude of sophistication she didn’t really feel at this moment. “If you hadn’t left me … I wouldn’t have the bakery. So I guess I owe you some thanks for that.”

She hadn’t gone to a therapist after what had happened but she had started reading a lot of self-help books. At first she kept waiting for him to walk back into her life and then after three months of that kind of hopelessness, she’d decided she needed to move on. All her life she’d had a plan for herself and it had always involved a white knight riding in and scooping her up on his horse. It was odd, but she’d always wanted to be lifted onto a horse by a big, strong warrior man and carried out of her dull ordinary life.

After Jay … it was clear that no white knight was coming and that her warrior man was just a man with issues and flaws. She’d also come to the realization that her man hadn’t had the same dream of a life together that she’d had. So she’d had to readjust. And baking, not to mention graduating from cooking school, had helped her do that.

Now, she was self-supporting and happy with her career. She could easily see herself owning Sweet Dreams and baking for the rest of her life. That thought often made her smile when she was feeling alone.

But Jay was back and he was offering her a chance to mend her broken heart and finally reclaim a little of her feminine pride. Though she’d never admit it out loud, having him leave her the way he had had made her doubt her own attractiveness to the opposite sex. Had made her wonder if she had some kind of flaw that she’d never noticed before.

“Alysse?” he asked in that deep voice, reminiscent of the way he’d sounded on the phone this afternoon when he’d pleaded with her to deliver the dessert.

“Hmm?”

“I asked if you were done with your salad. The waiter wants to clear our plates and bring out dinner,” he said.

“Yes, I am. Sorry about that,” she said. She really needed to stop daydreaming and pay attention. This was Jay Michener and he wouldn’t hesitate to use any weakness he spotted against her. She knew him well enough to know he was back here to win. “I was lost in the past.”

“I understand that,” he said. “I’ve spent a lot of time in the past.”

The waiter cleared the table and laid down the dinner plates. He removed the covers and she saw that there was a pan-seared tuna with a creamy risotto and asparagus. It smelled heavenly and she stared at her plate, trying to make the evening about food instead of about the past. But she knew that was a lie.

The waiter offered cracked black pepper and refilled their wineglasses before leaving. She stared at the empty beach. The sun still shone but it wasn’t very bright.

“Alysse?”

“Yes?” she asked. It was silly to still be wearing sunglasses, she thought as she focused on Jay’s face.

“Are you okay?”

“No,” she said. “I’m not. This is the most surreal night of my entire life and that’s counting the night I married a stranger.”

His mouth tightened but then he relaxed his shoulders. “I guess I’m glad it’s not boring for you.”

Just that one sentence shocked her and made her smile. Then she started laughing though it wasn’t that funny and she felt the sting of tears and the very real urge to start crying. Damn. She turned her head away from him, pushed her sunglasses up on top of her head and wiped her eyes.

“You do know how to show a girl an interesting time,” she said. “What have you been up to?”

“Fighting,” he said. “That’s what I do.”

She arched one eyebrow at him. That was almost too straightforward, especially for Jay.

“Sorry. It’s on a T-shirt that a guy in my unit gave me last Christmas.”

“Oh,” she said, realizing there was a possibility of him having a life outside the Corps. “I have one that says ‘I dream in dark chocolate.’”

He smiled and they started eating. She gave Jay props for keeping the conversation light and she found him charming. Too charming as he recounted some humorous pranks he’d played on his buddies. That was how he referred to them. No names or any other identifiers.

“Why don’t you call them by their name?” she asked as they were finishing up dinner.

“I don’t know why, I just think of them as they are, like sniper-scout. He’s the fourth one I’ve been paired with since I’ve been in the Corps.”

“What does he do exactly?” she asked.

“He’s my partner in the field. He helps me sight the target by gauging wind and other factors. He’s got my back, you know?”

She shook her head. “In the movies, snipers are always loners, but it doesn’t seem like you are.”

He shrugged again and she noticed the way his massive shoulders moved. He was still in top form, with muscles bulging under that black T-shirt of his. “Sort of. We work in pairs but because of burnout and other issues we don’t always develop deep bonds. I’d work alone if I could.”

“Why?” she asked, putting her silverware down to concentrate on what he was saying. To be honest, his answer didn’t surprise her. There had always been something solitary about him, even in Vegas when he’d been on leave.

“That way I don’t have to depend on anyone but myself.”

She tipped her head to the side to consider him. “Was that why you left me?”

“I have no idea. I’ve never been a coward, but walking away from you was the only thing I could do.”

“Why? Because you didn’t want to have to depend on me?” she asked.

“No,” he said, putting his sunglasses back down over his eyes. “I didn’t want you to depend on me and then let you down.”

JAY DIDN’T LIKE admitting his weaknesses out loud but he knew that lying to Alysse wasn’t going to win him any favors. He’d planned what he’d say and how he’d say it, but he hadn’t been able to plan for her reactions.

She was hard to get a bead on tonight as she was both angry and sad and at times almost relaxed. And seeing her behavior tonight made him wonder if he should have just stayed gone. Selfishly, for his own peace of mind, he’d had to see her again.

He’d had to try to make things right. He wasn’t a complex man and Lord knew he didn’t have any real idea of how a relationship should work, but having seen his buddies and their wives, Jay knew that it was possible for a guy to be a soldier and have a life outside the Corps.