Rom-Com Collection

“Hey.”

Faith startled a little. Crap, it was Levi, like an irritable grammar school nun about to whack their hands with a ruler. He still wore his uniform, gun and all. He gave her a five on the Boredom Scale, his eyes glancing over her and dismissing her in a nanosecond.

“Levi! Have a seat, buddy,” Jeremy said, letting go of her hand. “Faith and I were just catching up.”

“So I see.” He paused. “Faith.”

“Levi.” She mimicked his solemn tone, but he didn’t seem to notice.

Jeremy beamed. “Sit down. You want something to eat?”

“Yeah, join us, Levi,” Faith said, narrowing her eyes just a little. He wouldn’t sit down. He disliked her too much.

He sat. Next to Jeremy of course, the better to level that God, you’re so uninteresting look at her, now a seven. Faith smiled at him, making sure to wrinkle her nose like a Disney princess. His look shot up to a nine and a half. Already, his fingers were drumming on the table, ever itchy where she was concerned. Good. Let him itch. Let him have an infestation of fleas, perhaps, or a festering, scabby rash.

“My grandmother baked some brownies for you, Levi,” she said sweetly, tipping her head and tucking some hair behind her ear. “Since you were so helpful with the flying squirrels.”

“He lives to serve,” Jeremy said, grinning. Levi gave Jeremy a wry look, which slid right off his face when he returned his gaze to Faith.

“Well, she’s a huge fan, Levi. If you ever wanted a girlfriend, I’m convinced she’d leave my grandfather for you.” Another sunny smile, which failed to illicit any reaction at all, though Jeremy laughed.

Jessica came over. “Hey, Levi, how you doing?” she asked, messing up the chief of police’s hair.

“Hi, Jess.”

“You want something to eat?”

“No, thanks. I’m not gonna stay,” Levi said.

Thank God for small favors, Faith thought. “So are you two...together again?” she asked, glancing up at Jessica.

“Oh, hell, no,” Jess snorted. “We broke up in high school.”

“Well, you were always on and off—” Faith began.

“Yeah, well, people change,” Jessica said, a smile not quite masking the sharpness in her voice.

“It was always just physical, anyway,” Levi said, giving Jess a wink, a slight smile pulling his mouth up in one corner. “Right, Jess?”

Hello. Captain Testosterone still had it, Faith had to admit. That look was equivalent to half an hour of dedicated foreplay—green eyes all sleepy and knowing, that faint smile promising all sorts of thorough attention. Not that she was...it wasn’t like she...what was the question again?

“Faith? You want dessert?” Jessica demanded.

“Oh! Um, no, that’s fine,” she said brightly, hoping no one noticed her burning cheeks.

“Gotta go,” Levi said, standing up. He punched Jeremy’s shoulder, leaned in to kiss Jessica on the cheek, then glanced at Faith. Good Lord, he wouldn’t kiss her, would he? Should she offer her cheek, just in case? But Jessica was standing in the way, and if he wanted to kiss her, he’d have to—

Yeah, never mind. He was leaving. “Bye, Levi!” she called merrily. “Always so great running into you!”

She didn’t miss Jessica’s eye roll as she padded away. Well, who cared? Levi and Jessica were two people she’d never managed to win over.

“Where were we?” Jeremy asked, and she turned her attention back to him.

* * *

WHEN SHE GOT HOME THAT NIGHT, Goggy and Pops were still awake, alas.

“Your grandfather won’t go to bed,” Goggy announced, crossing her arms over her ample bosom. She looked like an angry pink pigeon, wrapped tightly in the fleece robe Faith had given her for Christmas.

“Your grandmother won’t, either,” Pops said from the den. “How was your date, sweetheart?” He came into the kitchen and bent to kiss her cheek.

“Yes, how was it?” Goggy asked, squeezing her hand, not to be outdone in the affection department.

“It wasn’t a date,” Faith said, spying the plate of brownies Goggy had made earlier. She took one, not because she was hungry, but because Goggy had made them for Levi. “But it was good to see Jeremy again.”

“Those are for Chief Cooper,” Goggy said, a hint of reproof in her voice.

“I know, but they looked so beautiful, I couldn’t resist,” Faith said.

“Let me get you some milk, sweetie.” Mollified, Goggy leaped to the cupboard for a glass. Pops tried to sneak a brownie, too, but Goggy slapped his hand. “Those are for Levi! Not for you!” she said. “Faith, sweetheart, do you want another one?”

“So, Pops, it’s nine-thirty,” Faith said. “Why are you up?” Her grandfather, being a farmer, did tend to go to bed around eight each night. “You feeling okay?”

“You know what it is?” Goggy said. “It’s that woman, that German, on Project Runway. He’s making a fool of himself, watching a show for a German woman who’s a third his age!”

“So? I’m allowed to look. I’m not dead yet.”

“Too bad, isn’t it? When are you going to do me a favor and—”

“So, listen, you two,” Faith said loudly. They quieted. “It’s obvious that you don’t need me around here, checking on you. I’m going to find a place of my own until...well.” Until I go back, she was about to say.

But she’d never planned to stay in California forever. No one was getting any younger. Abby’d be off at college in two years; Goggy and Pops were old, if still filled with piss and vinegar.

“Who said we didn’t need you? Of course we need you!” Goggy said firmly. “You should stay with us.”

“She’s a grown woman, Elizabeth,” Pops said. “She can do what she wants. And aren’t you the one who sent her all the way to California?”

“So what? She needed to get away! Her heart was broken, you doddering old man. I didn’t mean she should stay away forever. Did I tell her to do that? No! This is her home.”

“Well, maybe she wants to spread her wings a little without you nosing into her business,” Pops said.

“Okay, okay,” Faith said. “No more fighting.”

“We weren’t fighting,” Goggy said. “We were discussing.”

“Right. Let’s watch Project Runway, okay? But I am moving out.”

“I don’t know. A single girl on her own? Someone could break in and slit your throat as you’re sleeping,” her grandmother said.