The Only Man for Her

“Do you still love him, Rachel?”

“Yes,” she answered without hesitating. “But that can’t be all there is to it. I wish it could be.”

Savannah sighed. “I’m getting married in less than a month and I’m watching the most solid couple I know fall apart. If your marriage isn’t going to last, I wonder if the rest of us stand a chance.”

She reached across the desk and patted Savannah’s hand. “If you and Sam didn’t fall out of love after being apart well over a decade, then you’re meant to be together.”

“I hope you’re right.”

So did Rachel. “And I hope you’ll agree to my next request.”

Savannah narrowed her eyes. “Something tells me I might not care for it.”

Probably not, but she had to ask. “Would you at least file the papers and have Matt served? Maybe then he’ll realize I’m serious.”

Savannah frowned. “Are you using this as some sort of a wake-up call?”

“I suppose you could say that. If he’s not willing to work on our marriage after he has the proof in hand, then I’ll go ahead with the divorce.”

“Let me just caution you, Rachel. When you bandy about the word divorce, it’s always going to be hanging out there. You can’t take it back, even if you and Matt decide to reconcile.”

A chance she would have to take. Matt might be too stubborn and had too much pride to agree to her terms for reconciliation. He didn’t believe he had a drinking problem, nixed counseling altogether and he couldn’t commit to having another child. “I realize this is extreme, but he hasn’t given me much choice.”

“I still can’t represent you,” Savannah said after a brief pause. “But I will agree to file the preliminary documents, as long as you are absolutely positive this is the right thing to do.”

Right, maybe not. Necessary, definitely. “I’m as sure as I can be. It’s do-or-die time for Matt.”

Savannah removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. “All right. As soon as I have the paperwork finished, I’ll call you in to sign the forms. I should have everything completed by this afternoon, and I’ll have them served to Matt on Friday.”

Only two days away. She hadn’t expected it to be so quick. “There’s no waiting period in terms of how long we’ve been separated?”

“There’s no statutory requirement in this state that requires you to be separated at all prior to filing for divorce. And since you have been apart for a few weeks, I’m going to assume you haven’t done the deed. And if you haven’t done the deed, then there’s no reason to believe you’ll be involving a child.”

Rachel couldn’t issue a denial, nor could she look at her friend.

“Rachel? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

She shrugged. “Matt and I did have a little post-separation sex, so I suppose it’s possible I could be pregnant, but not very likely.”

Savannah’s mouth momentarily dropped open. “When did this happen?”

She felt like an errant teenage girl who’d gotten caught parking with her boyfriend. “The night I asked him for the divorce.”

“And if you are pregnant, when do you plan to tell him?” When Rachel again failed to respond, Savannah added, “You would tell him, right?”

“I don’t know what I would do.” And she truly didn’t. “But I don’t see any reason to borrow trouble right now. There probably won’t be anything to tell.”

“I have something else I want to ask you.” Savannah tapped a pen on the desk in rapid succession before putting it down. “Do you remember that night we got together at Rudy’s, not long after I came back to town?”

How could she forget? That was the night she’d made the pregnancy announcement to her friends. “I remember it well.”

“You said something that’s been bugging me for almost a year. You said you decided to get pregnant, not we decided. I’ve wondered if you took matters into your own hands.”

That secret had been a burden she’d carried for months. One burden she’d like to ease among all the others. “I might have forgotten to take a pill or two.”

“Forgotten?”

“Okay, I intentionally forgot to take them. I thought that if I let nature take its course and I got pregnant, he’d get used to the idea. I even hoped he’d be happy about it.” And she had been so very, very wrong.

“But Matt still doesn’t know it wasn’t an accident?”

“What would be the point, Savannah? It’s done. I got pregnant and I lost my baby.” Logical or not, she’d worried that losing Caleb was some sort of karmic punishment for deceiving her baby’s father.

“But Matt knows you aren’t on the Pill this time,” Savannah said.

“Yes, he knows.” His reaction was still fresh on her mind. “And that’s part of the problem when it comes to our marriage. I want another baby, and he doesn’t. In fact, I’ll never know if he really wanted Caleb.”

“Of course he wanted him, Rachel. Matt’s a good man.”

A good man who had no desire to be a father. “None of that matters now. I have to focus on the future, with or without him.”

“And you’re prepared for a future without him?”

She might never be prepared for that, even if she was capable of making it on her own. “Let’s just take it one step at a time and file the papers. I’ll decide what I’m going to do after that.”

Yet her biggest concern involved Matt and his reaction when he learned what she had done. She would simply hope for the best—and expect the very worst.

* * *

“HEY, MATT, ARE YOU in here?”

The question echoed down the barn aisle at the same time he slid the needle into the mare’s neck. Startled more by the voice than the injection, she tossed her head and sidestepped to the left, nearly throwing Matt off balance. Only years of experience and well-honed skill saved him from going down and being trampled by a skittish horse. A pregnant skittish horse. Being put out of commission was the last thing he needed. Right now, his job happened to be the only thing keeping his mind off his problems.

He managed to calm the mare enough to withdraw the needle, keeping a firm grip on the halter with his free hand in case she decided to bolt again. Fortunately the hay bag gained her attention just as his friend showed up outside the stall.

“Got a minute?” Chase asked.

The question irritated Matt to no end. Then again, everything irritated him these days. He capped the needle, opened the stall door and set the syringe down on the supply cart until he could properly dispose of it. “A minute’s about all I have. I’ve got to get out to the Bailey farm and vaccinate some heifers.”

Chase peered into the stall at the mare. “Nice little bay. Who does she belong to?”

“Sam. She’s bred to his stud and due to foal in the next few weeks.”

“I thought Sam stopped breeding that old stud a few years ago.”

He really didn’t care to get into this right now. “This one’s going to be the last in the line, and Rachel’s birthday present. If my wife ever comes home. I’m not sure that’s going to happen.”

“You could be right about that.”