The Only Man for Her

That might be a problem, were she wearing one. “No, I’m not worried about that. I just don’t feel it’s a good idea for us to be in such close proximity.”

He straightened and hovered above her. “Fine. You stay there and I’ll stay out here. But I want to see you while I’m talking to you.”

Before Rachel could issue a protest, Matt strode to the panel and flipped the switch that turned on the underwater lights. When he returned to the tub, she automatically tensed and hugged her knees closer to her torso. “Do you mind?”

He didn’t even try to conceal his blatant perusal of her body. “I don’t mind at all. You look pretty damn good, all wet and naked. But I imagine your daddy wouldn’t approve of you skinny-dipping on his sacred property.”

As usual, he never missed an opportunity to throw her father’s rules in her face. “It’s none of his business what I do.”

“Then I guess we better not tell him, huh?”

Rachel had several things she’d like to tell her husband, but he rendered her speechless when he pulled up a deck chair and sat without an invitation. “What part of ‘I want to be alone’ do you not understand, Matt?”

He stretched his long legs out in front of him, boots crossed at the ankles, hands laced atop his abdomen. “I’ll leave you alone as soon as I get what I came for. If you won’t let me come in there, and you won’t come out here, I figure we can just continue our conversation right here.”

Clearly he had no intention of leaving, at least not anytime soon. “Fine. You have five minutes to say what’s on your mind.”

“First question.”

Rachel was already dreading that question. “Go ahead, but make it quick.”

His expression turned solemn. “Do you regret that I’m the only man you’ve ever been with?”

She hadn’t expected that. Truth was, she’d never even thought about another man. “No, I don’t regret that you’re the only man I’ve slept with. Do you regret that I’m the only woman… Oh, wait. I’m not the only woman. I almost forgot about that buckle bunny you met during that summer you and Chase ran all over the state, team roping.”

“You mean that summer you broke up with me, per your daddy’s orders?”

He had her there. “You still couldn’t wait to sow your wild oats when the first pair of tight jeans and exposed cleavage presented itself.”

“And when I came clean about that, you didn’t hesitate to take me back.”

Another point scored in his favor. “I was young and stupid back then.”

He leaned forward, arms draped loosely on his knees. “Young, yeah, but not stupid. You knew we were meant to be together. We still are.”

Uncomfortable over the course of the conversation and her waterlogged state, she felt the time had come to end the soak and the exchange. She could ask Matt to toss her the towel, or she could just exit the tub and get it herself. She could request he turn his back, or she could just go for it. Going for it worked. After all, they had well over a decade of naked between them.

As soon as she rose from the tub, he sized her up with pale blue eyes that looked translucent in the soft glow reflecting off the water. She knew all too well the slow, sensuous grin that followed. Those attributes had proved to be her downfall on more than one occasion.

She didn’t want to experience that same old desire for him, yet it crept along her flesh like a firebrand, leaving a blanket of goose bumps in its wake.

If she knew what was good for her, she’d head for the safety of the house as fast as her wet feet would allow. Instead, a primal force took over, a sense of power. She grabbed the towel and slowly began to dry herself, starting with her legs and working her way up. She didn’t have to look at Matt to know he was still watching her, maybe even wanting her. She confirmed that when she took a quick glance to find him shifting in the chair before she lowered her gaze to his fly.

Yes, he definitely wanted her, but he couldn’t have her. Not tonight.

After she cocooned herself in the towel and tucked the edges between her breasts, she faced Matt to discover he’d come to his feet. “I’m going inside now,” she said in a voice that sounded grainy and unsure.

He took a few guarded steps toward her. “You know what you just reminded me of? That morning last spring, when I’d been out most of the night tending to the Fielders’ gelding. I came home and sat down at the breakfast table, and then you did that little striptease, shocking the hell out of me. Best I recall, we had one wild ride right there on the ceramic tile floor.”

A flash of heat slapped Rachel in the face when she thought about her lack of inhibition. She was almost positive she’d become pregnant that very morning. “I’d prefer to forget about that, thank you very much.”

As Matt took another few steps, she immediately backed up against the brick wall. “Are you blushing because you’re embarrassed, sweetheart?” he asked. “Or because you’re remembering how good we are together?”

A little of both. “A lot has changed since then.”

“Not everything.” He moved closer, leaving only a scant few inches between them. “You’re still sexy as hell. And we can still be good together. I’ll be glad to prove it.”

She was so, so tempted to take him up on his offer, until reality took hold. “Sleeping together isn’t going to solve our problems.”

“But it might make us forget them for a while.” He braced a hand above her head and pushed a wayward strand of hair behind her ear with the other. “Besides, who said anything about sleeping? I’m not tired. Are you?”

She was tired of fighting and almost ready to give up and give in. But she had to stay strong or suffer the consequences of her actions. “Again, I’m going inside. Alone. Have a nice night.”

Rachel ducked under Matt’s arm and opened the French doors, only to have him follow her inside. When she turned to protest, he reeled her in for a kiss. A sultry, suggestive kiss. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d kissed this way, deep and provocative. Couldn’t remember the last time they’d been this close. She did recall all those nights over the past few months when she’d needed him this badly, but anger and resentment had prevented her from acting on that need.

That anger still existed and should be enough to stop her now, yet her resistance began to dissolve when Matt rimmed a fingertip beneath the edge of the towel, immediately above the knot. He didn’t release it but Rachel sensed he wanted to. He was simply waiting for her permission. If she told him to stop, he would. If she demanded he go away, leave her be, he’d back off. Her husband might be determined and stubborn to a fault, but he’d never force her to do anything she didn’t want to do. Unfortunately, she wanted the intimacy. She needed the intimacy, right or wrong. Wise or not.

And in one defining moment, when feeling something other than angry and sad and resentful mattered more than wisdom, she released the towel. It fell to the floor, leaving her completely exposed, both physically and emotionally.

From that point, everything happened quickly. They headed toward the bedroom adjacent to the living area on a rush of desperate kisses. Matt guided her to the mattress’s edge, and while she watched, he yanked his T-shirt over his head and tossed it onto the floor. Then he fumbled with his fly and shoved his jeans and underwear down without even bothering to take off his boots. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought she should say they shouldn’t be doing this, but she was already too far gone.

Matt nudged her back onto the bed and eased inside her with more restraint than she’d expected. But the sheer intensity in his blue eyes that he kept trained on hers, the tight set of his jaw showed his struggle for control. Normally he would take his time coaxing a climax from her, but Rachel didn’t need any fancy foreplay. Just the feel of his damp skin against her palms, the powerful movement of his body, coupled with a few descriptive, sexy words he whispered in her ear, proved to be more than enough.

Matt had always prided himself on making it last, but like her, he couldn’t hold out any longer. The spontaneous and ill-advised lovemaking had driven them both over the edge in record time. And with one more thrust, he collapsed against her.

Their ragged breathing echoed in the silent room as Rachel’s heart began to slow and awareness settled in. She’d forgotten how good he felt in her arms. Truthfully, she hadn’t let herself remember. But now it all came back to her, all the things she’d come to appreciate over the years. The way he’d always held her in the aftermath, making her feel secure and cherished. Loved. Yet in light of their recent troubles, she could no longer rely on that love alone.

If a person really loved his wife, he wouldn’t bury himself in work to avoid her. He wouldn’t exchange coming home to her for frequenting seedy bars on the outskirts of town. He wouldn’t ignore her grief because he refused to deal with his own.

And as the moments ticked away, and once again she mourned what used to be, what might never be again, Rachel did the only thing she could possibly do at the moment. She cried.

* * *

MATT WOULDN’T BE SURPRISED if they’d felt the explosion in the next county.

Maybe he hadn’t lost his touch after all. Here he was, with his wife in his arms following some mind-blowing sex. Maybe now they could get back on track, and she’d come back home where she belonged.

Then he felt the dampness against his shoulder, heard a soft sob and realized he’d jumped on the optimism train way too soon. The euphoria he’d felt only seconds ago disappeared as quickly as it had come.

He raised his head and found Rachel with her eyes tightly closed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Tears he’d seen quite a bit over the past few months, some he’d been responsible for. No matter what he’d said or done to try to make it better, he’d failed. Tonight was no exception.

He brushed a kiss across her forehead. “What’s wrong, Rachel?”

She released a broken sigh. “I don’t understand how this can be so right between us when everything else is so wrong.”

He should’ve figured she’d see it that way. Should’ve known that his plan to woo her back into his life had fallen flat.

Matt rolled over and draped his forearm over his eyes, blocking the light they hadn’t bothered to turn off. Hell, he hadn’t even bothered to take off his boots or his jeans. Hadn’t bothered to…