Don't You Forget About Me

“Verity’s going, so I’ll walk back with her now,” I said, studying his face for some kind of reaction or a little tell.

“Take your coat off, Cara. You haven’t paid for that drink yet, so you’ll have to work it off. Go and get some glasses in.” And then came the wink, the one that let me know I was off the hook, and then a little smile that let me know we were friends again.

“Do you mind if I stay a bit?” I asked Verity.

“Go for it,” she said. “I’d be demanding a lock-in if the kids were at their dad’s tonight. Have fun.”

Verity hugged me and left. After everyone else had gone home and Stubbs had locked up, he poured us both a pint of cider and black. “For old time’s sake, let’s relive our youth,” he said as he came and sat at the other side of the bar with me.

“I’m sorry, Stubbs,” I said and moved a bit closer to him. “I didn’t mean what I said; it just came out wrong. I was just surprised, is all. I didn’t think April would be your type?”

“My type?” he said. “I should be so lucky as to have a type. But it’s all right. You’re probably right, anyway.”

“It’s just how her friends teased us, do you remember?”

“We were just kids, Cara. Anyway, I probably won’t be asking her out because apart from anything else, I wouldn’t even know how to ask a woman out. You know I’ve never asked a woman out in my life?”

“What? Seriously? You must have done. What about Kim at uni?” I was surprised by his admission. Verity was right; perhaps he did just need a bit of confidence.

“Nope,” he said taking a swig of his drink and pulling a face. I wasn’t sure if it was the taste of this once-loved cider and black or his revelation. “It just sort of happened. And she’s the only girlfriend I ever had, so there was never a call for me to ask anyone out.”

“I can’t believe you’ve never asked anyone out! Maybe you ought to try it. Just to see what happens.”

“Yeah? All right then.” He raised an eyebrow, took a breath in and took my hand. “Cara Dunham. Will you please, please, go out with me?” he said.

I had to stop myself from spitting my drink out. After a moment or two when it was touch and go, I managed to swallow it, regain composure and then I burst out laughing. I couldn’t help it. Stubbs pulled his hand away and folded his arms.

“You see, that’s exactly the reaction I would get if I asked a real woman out. You’ve crushed me, Cara. Besides, you’re right. April is fit as. And if you won’t go out with me, there’s no chance she would.”

“Thanks a bloody lot.”

He was now feigning devastation and clutching at his heart. He made me laugh so much. “Okay, what about you then? I saw your face when April mentioned Daniel Rose.”

“Oh I know. I don’t know if I could stand seeing him, Stubbs. It would remind me of how awful things were back then – plus I reckon I’d probably go weak at the knees or something or have a nervous breakdown.” I was cringing just at the thought of it.

“Weird how some people get you like that isn’t it?” said Stubbs.

“I know,” I said laughing. “I can’t help it. Just hearing his name makes me crush all over again like a teenager.”

Stubbs laughed. “Come on then, I’ll walk you back.” He drummed on his thighs to spur himself into action. “I’ll just get my coat and wake Divvy up.”

Stubbs bundled a protesting Divvy into a taxi outside. He paid the driver and gave him Divvy’s address. We walked past a group of teenagers on the way. The boys were full of beer and bravado and one swung from the roof of the bus stop as the girls giggled. The last bus heading out into the nearest city centre arrived and took them all off on an adventure.

“Fancy joining them?” asked Stubbs.

“Nah. Not really dressed for it. Anyway, too many people, all queuing up for half an hour to get served, over-the-top prices. Can’t believe I am actually saying this but I think I prefer the social club,” I said.

“Well, the Broad Hampton social club does have its good points.”

“The staff not being one of them.”

“Right, that’s you barred, Cara.”

“Anyway, you’re not exactly dressed for it are you?” I said pointing to his bingo caller’s uniform.

“So, Daniel then?”

“Yeah, Daniel,” I said. “Are you going to go? Shall we go to the reunion, just to see what it’s like?”

Stubbs shrugged. “Maybe. It might be fun.”

“I’m going to go,” I said. “I have to go. I can’t keep being afraid of what people will think. I’m applying for jobs first thing on Monday. Don’t you ever want to move away again?”

“No, I like it, here.” He was telling the truth; it seemed enough for him. “Like, today, oh listen to this right, we had a right laugh because one of the bingo balls went missing and turned out Jim had it in his pocket all along.” He chuckled to himself.

“Stubbs, that’s quite possibly one of the most boring stories involving a bingo ball I have ever heard.”

Stubbs stopped laughing. “Yeah, it is, I suppose. You had to be there.”

“No, I didn’t,” I said. “I can tell that being there would possibly make it even more boring.”

Stubbs laughed. “Yeah, you’re right. I suppose it was really boring.”

I wondered if Stubbs was having a battered sausage revelation as well.

“You used to want to do so much, Stubbs. So did I. And look at us, still here.”

“Yeah, well things change,” said Stubbs. “And I like working at the club. I like seeing people’s faces when they win. It’s nice; I like making people happy.”

He tilted his head to the side and looked at me quizzically.

“But you’re definitely thinking of leaving again?” he said.

I nodded.

“Reckon you’ll still be here for April’s party?” he said.

“Yeah.” I wasn’t convinced it would be such a good idea. Being the invisible girl at school, I wasn’t sure if anyone would even know who I was. At least Stubbs had an identity of sorts, even if he was the original geek.

“It will be fun,” he said, trying to convince himself.

“Will it?” I said, very much unconvinced, but I didn’t want to miss out this time. “I just don’t want to go and feel like a complete loser with my glorified Saturday job, not having achieved anything.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” he said, stopping in the road outside the chippy. He gestured up and down himself. “Look at me, I’m an even bigger loser than you. At least you went out there and tried to make a go of it and you’re thinking of trying again.”

“You could too,” I said.

He shrugged. “Think I’ve missed the boat on that one.”