While You Were Dreaming

‘Darling, I just got a flight in from Rio. How are you?’

Cara winced at the term ‘darling’.

‘Fine.’ She cleared her throat and made no attempt to embrace her mother.

‘It’s so good to see yer!’ Kitty said, suddenly switching into the not so posh accent Cara was more used to. Kitty opened her arms for an embrace but, as Cara wasn’t moving, the older woman enveloped her in a stiff hug.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ asked Kitty.

‘I said I’m fine. It’s Lena we have to worry about.’ She was definitely fine, even if her tummy was in the middle of some type of semi-spasm. ‘Where have you been?’ she asked curtly.

‘I was in Brazil.’

‘Lena’s been in here for over two weeks.’

‘I only got the message about twenty-four hours ago. Hortense had heard from Ade. Luckily, I was just about to leave the hotel and move on to…well, that doesn’t matter…I’m here now and I just want to see my daughter.’

They had reached Lena’s hospital room now, and as Cara pointed to the door, Kitty slowly opened it, with Cara following slowly behind her. A good position it would seem, as she was the one to catch her as Kitty’s whole body collapsed towards the freshly cleaned hospital floor.

‘Are you okay? Let me get a doctor,’ said Ade. Kitty had been ‘out’ for about three minutes and, after the initial moment of panic, they had managed to move her onto one of the chairs in Lena’s room. Cara was soon wondering what she’d been playing at. Fainting indeed! Any excuse to upstage Lena!

‘Oh…I…I just wasn’t prepared to see my baby girl laid out in the hospital bed like the dearly departed. That’s all,’ she said breathlessly, that posh voice returning.

‘Of course not,’ said Ade, sympathetically.

‘I told you she’d be all right,’ said Cara, who had retreated to the other side of the room in sceptical mode.

‘I’m all right, no need for a doctor,’ insisted Kitty, straightening her hair which Cara now realised with mild horror, was actuallly a wig.

‘I’ll get us all some tea,’ said Ade.

‘I don’t want tea. I just…I just want to see my child.’ Kitty attempted to get up, wobbled a bit, then sat back down dramatically as soon as she clocked Lena again.

‘Take it easy, Mum, please,’ said Ade. Cara tried really hard not to snort at the word ‘Mum’. ‘Let me get you something.’

‘There is something you can do for me, son.’

‘Anything,’ he said, brushing her arm.

‘Just call me Kitty. I know you liked calling me Mum when I used to live here, but, well, you know…’

‘I thought, well I know me and Cara aren’t married yet. I just thought–’

‘Put a sock in it, Ade. Even I call her by her name and I’m her real daughter! It’s what she prefers.’ Cara said briskly.

‘And you have never complained about it before,’ chipped in Kitty.

‘I’ll get those drinks.’ Ade sighed, not sure what to do with himself. ‘Now, are you sure you don’t want me to get a doctor?’ he asked Kitty.

‘I’m in the best place if something were to happen. I just want to be with Lena.’ Kitty slowly stood up and moved over to Lena’s bed. And Cara heard a quick gasp as Kitty slid into the chair and placed her hand on her daughter’s forehead, slowly running her fingers across her skin. With her other hand, she stroked Lena’s frizzy curls and ran a finger across the Alice band that held the strands back from her face.

‘Oh my little sweetheart, what happened?’ She sighed as a single tear plopped onto Lena’s pillow. Cara turned to Ade, who seemed to be taken in by this display, as he looked close to tears himself. Cara didn’t quite know what to say to her mother, who had disappeared for weeks without even bothering to phone or send a postcode. She suddenly felt claustrophobic, and longed for the frenzied normality of A&R.

Ade finally went for the teas as the two women sat in silence, both staring at Lena, Kitty holding onto Lena’s hand.

‘I am so sorry I didn’t get here sooner.’

‘Nothing much else you could have done. We have it covered.’ Cara said curtly.

‘Even now, your mouth is spiteful. Why can’t you be nice, just this once? Your sister is lying here after all!’ Kitty cried out.

Cara wasn’t sure how to answer that, as she was all too aware that she couldn’t think of anything nice to say to Kitty. Some things were best left unsaid.

‘Maybe me being here will help her,’ Kitty added hopefully. ‘What do you think?’

Again, Cara tried to bite her tongue, for Lena’s sake. Because if she did open her mouth she feared she would tell her mother that her presence would probably not help rouse Lena out of the sleep. Why would it? Kitty had hardly ever been around the last few years. And, in fact, even when they were growing up, her presence and input had been minimal.

‘You know where I can find the toilet?’ asked Kitty.

‘Turn right, straight down, first left.’

‘You know your way around here.’

‘I’m here every day,’ she replied, her tone accusing. She wanted to throw missiles at Kitty and she wanted them to hurt.

‘I don’t want to argue with you, Cara.’

‘She’s been here for almost two weeks!’

‘I didn’t get the message! I told you that!’

‘What were you doing, anyway? Gallivanting around Brazil? I thought you’d just got back from Las Vegas a few months ago!’

‘I don’t have to check in with you, Cara.’

‘Of course not, because that would be changing a habit of a lifetime, Kitty!’

‘I got on a flight as soon as I could, with no sleep, and at my age it’s no joke,’ they locked eyes and Cara knew she’d won that round.

‘This is silly. I haven’t got the strength to fight with you, Cara. Please save it for another day.’

Kitty sounded defeated and this put Cara off guard. She was ready to have it out with her, more than ready. It was as if seeing her mother again had bought all the long-since-buried ‘stuff’ to the surface.

* * *

Millie on the other hand, arrived at the hospital dressed in her ‘interview gear’ (skirt and blouse). She was finding it increasingly hard to contain her excitement at the arrival of her mother Kitty. She hadn’t seen her in ages–well not for six months at least, when Lena had insisted that Millie and herself make the trip up to Southampton to see her. She’d gone and spent the day with her mother and Lena and had enjoyed it. The only missing piece of the puzzle, as usual, was Cara.

Millie was glad Kitty was back and they could sort of be a family for a while. The four of them together for the first time in well…ages. However, as Cara was not talking to Kitty and Lena was unable to talk to anyone it didn’t exactly feel like the perfect reunion.