What the Heart Knows

Outside on the porch Jared descended the steps. “When I signed up to be a parent, I didn’t realize all that it entailed.”

“Parents rarely do the first time around.”

“How about the first time with each sex? Raising a boy is so different from raising a girl.”

“You won’t get an argument from me.”

“You see, I knew there was something about you I liked. No arguments.”

She laughed. “Don’t count on it. I love to argue when I feel I’m right.”

“Is that a warning?”

“You bet.” Kathleen lifted her face to the sun and relished the warmth on her skin. The June air was still cool, the breeze caressing. She inhaled then exhaled a deep breath, wishing the beauty of the day could wash away the turmoil churning in her stomach. “Before long summer will be in full swing, searing heat and all.” She peered toward the Ozark Mountains. “But for right now there’s still a touch of spring in this corner of Arkansas.”

“My favorite time of year.” Jared started down the sidewalk toward the corner.

“When everything is reborn,” she said, falling into step beside him.

Ten minutes later Jared turned up the walk to a two-story redbrick house with two massive oak trees in front. Kathleen paused to admire the landscape. The yard was mowed and neatly trimmed with well-tended orange and yellow marigolds by the porch.

She whistled. “What a beautiful yard. You and my dad have a lot in common. I think you’ll be a great candidate to take care of the gardens at church.”

“The housekeeper takes care of the inside. I take care of the outside. I enjoy getting out and puttering around in the yard. Makes me forget about my worries for a short period of time.”

“You see, that’s how I feel about the kitchen.”

“How does Mark feel about yard work?”

“He used to love it. He and John would spend hours working outside. Now he doesn’t want to do anything. I feel like a nag just getting him to mow our lawn.”

She followed Jared up the steps to a huge porch that ran the length of his house. A profusion of potted plants adorned it as well as a swing and natural wicker furniture with bright yellow cushions. “Do you spend a lot of time out here?”

“When I can, especially in the early morning and the evening right before the sun sets.”

“Nice times of the day.”

“It’s my quiet time.” Again his grin appeared, dimpling his cheeks. “At least the morning is my quiet time. The kids aren’t up yet. I can’t really say that about the evening. I’ve helped with many a homework assignments on that swing.”

The front door swung open and Terry hurried outside. “Dad, Hannah won’t let anyone in. Let’s call the fire department. They can rescue her.”

Jared put his hand on his son’s shoulder to stop his forward momentum. “I think they have better things to do with their time than that.”

“Then how are we gonna get her out?”

“She’s not stuck in there. She can come out anytime she wants.”

“Mrs. Davis has tried everything. She yelled at her. She tried to bribe her. Nothing’s worked.”

“Let’s go see what we can do.” Jared hugged his son to his side for a few seconds before entering the house.

Upstairs Mrs. Davis, who had brown hair streaked with gray and pulled back into a severe bun, stood in the middle of the hallway in front of what was obviously the main bathroom, tapping her foot against the brown-carpeted floor. Her irritated expression underscored her exasperated stance.

“I’ll take over, Mrs. Davis. Thanks for letting me know.”

The rotund, large woman huffed and rushed past Jared, Terry and Kathleen, mumbling about being behind in her work.

Jared approached the closed door and leaned against it. “Hannah, come out and let’s talk.”

“No! Go away. I hate being a girl.”

“I can’t do that, Hannah,” Jared said in a gentle voice. “Kathleen has come over to see you.”

Kathleen stepped closer until she, too, was leaning into the door. “I thought maybe you and I could talk woman-to-woman.”

Nothing came from Hannah for almost three minutes, then Kathleen heard the lock click and the door eased open.

“Come in.”

Kathleen went into the bathroom. Terry tried to follow. His sister blocked his way with her hands on her hips. She stuck out her lower lip, her eyes pinpoints, silently daring him to enter her domain.

“Terry, please go help Mrs. Davis now,” Jared said behind the boy.

Terry groaned but headed down the hall. Hannah immediately locked the door again. Kathleen sat on the lip of the bathtub while the twelve-year-old plopped down on the closed lid of the toilet. Her hands folded in front of her, the young girl stared at the cream-colored tile on the floor.

Kathleen waited a few minutes to see if Hannah would say anything. When she didn’t speak, Kathleen said, “I can still remember my first time. I was scared. I didn’t know what to feel. My mother is great, but she was always uncomfortable talking about things like that. I wasn’t sure what was happening to me.”

Hannah looked straight at her. “Dad gave me a book. It explained everything. That’s not the problem.”

When the young girl didn’t elaborate, Kathleen asked, “What is the problem? Maybe I can help.”

Hannah’s bottom lip quivered. “Can you stop it?”

“No, it’s a natural routine in a woman’s life.”

“But I don’t want it. I don’t feel well. I—”

Kathleen squatted in front of Hannah. “Do you have cramps?”

She shook her head. “I’m not myself. I don’t know how to describe it.”

Kathleen placed her hand over the young girl’s. “Out of sorts?”

“Yes.”

“That’s common. Our body’s hormones can affect our moods.”

Her eyes watery with unshed tears, Hannah bit her teeth into her bottom lip. “Why does this have to happen to me?”