What the Heart Knows

“I needed a change. My memories of Crystal Springs have always been fond ones.”

“But not Shreveport?”

She downed the rest of her lemonade as though she hadn’t drunk anything in days. “In Shreveport I found myself unable to move on in my life. I tried for a year and a half and finally acknowledged it wasn’t going to happen if I stayed.” Everywhere I turned I was reminded of how little control I have over my life, she silently added. I need control back.

“When you move, the memories go with you.”

“You can’t hide from yourself?”

“Exactly.” He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands, nothing casual about him. “Don’t give up on God. He hasn’t abandoned you.”

“I’ve lost my husband and now I feel like I’m losing my son.”

“If I can do anything about it, I won’t let you lose your son.”

The vehemence in his voice underscored his intentions, making Kathleen feel that she wasn’t alone. If she wasn’t careful, she could come to depend on Jared Matthews a great deal and she couldn’t let that happen. John’s death had rocked her world. She wouldn’t go through that kind of pain ever again.

Chapter Three

Returning to the church’s recreational hall Sunday evening, Kathleen cracked the door open and peered inside. Twenty teenagers sat listening to Jared describe their latest fundraiser. Mark had reluctantly agreed to coming this evening and was next to his cousin, Shane, his gaze on the floor. She wasn’t even sure if her son was hearing a word Jared was saying. Mark’s features were devoid of any expression. Seeing her son like that sent a chill down her spine.

Kathleen slipped inside the room while Jared wrapped up what everyone needed to do before the next week’s meeting. He caught her eye and smiled.

“Before we adjourn to the volleyball court, let’s pray,” Jared said, bowing his head. “Dear Heavenly Father, be with each and every one of these young people as they go through life. Help them to make the right choices and be there for them when they don’t. Amen.” Jared looked over the sea of teenagers. “The first game starts in ten minutes.”

The recreational hall emptied, all except for Mark, Kathleen and Jared. Mark slouched in his chair, continuing to stare at the tiled floor.

“Are you going to join us, Mark?” Jared asked, weaving his way through the rows of chairs toward Kathleen.

Mark shot Kathleen a look that spoke of boredom and disinterest. “Yeah, I guess.”

He pushed his lanky body, clad in black jeans and a black T-shirt, to his feet and trudged toward the door that led to outside.

When he disappeared from view, Kathleen released her pent-up breath in a rush. “I gather he wasn’t an involved member of the group.”

“No, but I did catch him listening a few times.”

“I hope he’ll get involved more. Otherwise this summer will be an extremely long one for him. I think all he’d do is sit in his room all day if I didn’t make him do chores around the house or help his grandparents some.”

“Besides listening to his music, what else does he do in his room?”

“He likes to draw. He’s been drawing a lot in a sketch book I got for him.”

“Have you looked at the sketches?”

“No, he won’t show them to me, and I haven’t wanted to invade his privacy.”

“Sometimes parents have to do things they don’t want to in order to protect their children.”

“You think I should check the drawings out without him knowing?”

“They may tell you what’s going on in his head. Try to get him to show you.” Jared swept his arm across his body. “Now, come on out and join the festivities. Have you ever played volleyball?”

“Back in my younger days,” Kathleen replied, her mind dwelling on what Jared had said about Mark’s drawings. She had always respected her son’s privacy before, but— The thought of what she must do made her shiver.

“It’s time to renew your skills,” Jared’s words cut into her musing. “Everyone plays. We rotate teams.”

Stepping outside, Kathleen surveyed the newly mowed yard at the side of the church, the scent of cut grass peppering the air. A volleyball court with a net was set up near the picnic tables located under four large maple trees. “Which unlucky team gets me?”

“Now where’s your positive thinking?”

“When I heard you mention volleyball, I think I left it back in the recreational hall. I’m not very athletic.”

“That’s fine.” He smiled, his blue eyes glittering. “I’ll just make sure I’m on the opposing team.”

Kathleen sat on a bench next to Jared and watched the first two teams play a game, her son, who used to be a good athlete, doing as little as possible. Again she wondered if she’d been wrong to come back to Crystal Springs. Maybe Mark needed familiar surroundings at this stage in his life. This town wasn’t an unknown to her son, but it wasn’t the place where he’d grown up. Self-doubts plagued her. She didn’t know what to do anymore. In the past she’d always had John to talk things over with and to support any decision she’d made.

“This is for fun,” Jared whispered, his arm brushing against hers.

The brief touch drew her attention. Tiny sparks of awareness feathered outward. “I know.”

“I wasn’t sure. Your look of intense concentration tells me otherwise.”

She relaxed the knotted tension that held her stiff and uncurled her fingers. Her nails had left an indentation in her palms. She hadn’t even realized how tense she’d been until Jared had said something. “I’m not the most graceful person when it comes to playing a sport. I was always the last one picked for a team. My reputation preceded me.”

“We don’t pick teams. You’ll be filling in for Anne, who is sick. Your team is up next.”

Kathleen examined the clear blue sky. “Too bad. There isn’t a raincloud anywhere to be seen.”

“Nope. You’re stuck.” He took her hand within his. “I know you’re worried about Mark. I’ll help you figure out what’s wrong. I promise.”

His sweet words, full of confidence, produced a lump in her throat. Jared would discover what was going on with her son. That thought brought tears of relief to her eyes. She blinked, a tear coursing down her face. Jared didn’t say anything, but he brushed his thumb across her cheek, the rough texture of his finger in sharp contrast to his soft touch. He then squeezed her hand gently, silently conveying his support as they both twisted about to stare at the teenagers battling on the volleyball court.

Five minutes later the game ended with Mark’s team winning. Her son gave his cousin a high five, but the elation she usually saw in Mark’s expression when he won wasn’t visible.

Jared stood and extended his hand to Kathleen. “It’s show time. Ready?”

“No, will that make a difference?”

“No.”

“That’s what I thought. I’ll be a sub.”

Laughter shone in his eyes. “There are no subs. Everyone gets to play. That’s the beauty of this setup.”

“That’s your opinion, not mine. I definitely think that’s a major flaw. What if someone gets hurt?”

“We remove a player from the other side and play on.”