Bitter Memories

Tanya smiled and nodded. ‘Sometimes. It’s our winter now, and it was snowing when I left.’

‘It is our winter too.’ Juanita laughed. ‘It is not so warm, do you think?’

’To me it’s very warm,’ Tanya returned. ‘You’re so lucky to live in a place with such a wonderful climate.’ And if it hadn’t been for this attractive woman she might have been living here herself! Her mouth tightened at the thought.

The woman frowned and turned from the mirror to look directly at Tanya. ‘Something is wrong?’

Tanya shook her head and forced a smile. ‘It was just a thought, nothing important. I’m sorry. Your dress is so beautiful. Do you take part in the carnaval every year?’

‘Yes—and sometimes my husband too, but this year he say he is too busy, too much work.’

Which accounted for the fact that he had dropped her off and not come in while the fitting took place. But he would be back, and Tanya was determined that she would not be here; she would shut herself away in her room until he had safely gone.

‘You will come and see the coso? The coso is—how do you say it? The grand parade? Everything stops; even my husband, he take that day off. You can join him, if you like.’

An attack of panic quickened Tanya’s heart, but somehow she managed to keep a smile pinned to her lips. ‘You’re very kind, but I expect I shall go with my sister.’

‘Ah, your sister, yes. Matilde, she mentioned her. She lives here, is that right? She works in a hotel?’

Tanya nodded.

‘She has been here in Tenerife a long time?’

’Two years, yes.’

‘And you have not visited before. Why is that?’

Because the man I loved married you! The words were there inside her, aching to get out, but they would never be spoken. Surprisingly Tanya found herself liking this woman, liking her as a person in her own right, hating her only because of her association with Alejandro. ‘I’ve been too busy,’ she managed, and it was in part the truth—even if it was of her own making.

‘And do you like Tenerife?’

‘Very much, what little I’ve seen of it so far.’

‘You must come and visit us. My husband and I, we will be very pleased.’

Tanya’s smile grew weaker. ‘You’re very kind, thank you, but I’m not sure that I’ll have the time. There is so much to see and do.’

To her relief Matilde spoke, successfully putting an end to the conversation, and Juanita went behind a screen to take off the dress. Tanya wanted to make her escape, but Matilde indicated that she was going to make some coffee and would like her to join them.

For the next fifteen minutes Tanya was on tenterhooks, and just as she thought she could successfully make her excuses she heard Alejandro’s car outside and his firm rap on the door.

Matilde went to open it and Juanita spoke, though Tanya had no idea what she said. All she could think of was that any second now she was going to come face to face with Alejandro. At least she was forewarned— he would have no idea that the girl he had once had a passionate affair with was sitting talking to his wife. It would be interesting to see his reaction.

To give him his due, there was little more than a sudden jerking muscle in his jaw to give away his surprise, and probably neither of the others even noticed.

His shoulders were broader than Tanya remembered, his black hair slightly longer, and, although he wore an open-necked shirt and plain grey trousers, they looked designer-made, his leather shoes too. In fact everything about him screamed money. He had told her that his father was a farmer, owning huge areas of land where he grew bananas and tomatoes, and that it was his ambition to follow in his footsteps. Was this from where his wealth came?

Matilde began to make introductions, but Alejandro stopped her and presumably announced that they were already acquainted. Certainly there was surprise in the woman’s eyes as she looked briefly at Tanya and back to Alejandro.

But his attention was now on Tanya, and her heart began to panic as she looked at him—as she discovered that the attraction was still there! She had never expected to feel this kind of emotion; she had been filled with hate and disillusionment for so long that she had thought all other feelings dead. It was a shock to discover that he still had some sort of power over her.

‘So we meet again, Tanya.’ There was no warmth in his voice, no hint of pleasure. He was aloof, distancing himself from her, which was odd, considering that at the airport he had insisted that he wanted to talk to her.

She looked into the coldness of his eyes, matching the chill with her own. ‘Unfortunately, yes, and if you’ll excuse me I was just about to return to my room.’

A frown appeared. ‘You’re staying here—with Matilde?’

‘That’s right,’ she answered sharply, ‘And so is Charlene.’

‘For how long?’ It was almost an accusation.

‘I’m here for a month—it’s my holiday. Charlene lives here permanently.’

A slight pause. ‘I didn’t know. Matilde’s never mentioned it.’

‘There’s no reason why she should.’ Tanya lifted her hand to remove a stray strand of hair from her face, and as she did so Alejandro’s eyes went to the wedding-ring that she still wore. There was a sudden narrowing, a start of surprise, though why he should be astonished she did not know. Nine years was a long time to remain single, to hold a torch for the man she had once loved. ‘Goodbye, Alejandro,’ she said quietly, coolly, and with a nod to his wife and to Matilde she left the room.

To her amazement he followed. ‘I think after all there is much to be said, Tanya.’

She lifted her brows. ‘Really?’

His snort of anger shocked her. ‘I know you no longer have any feelings for me, but—’

‘But nothing,’ she cut in swiftly. ‘It’s the whole point, isn’t it? Neither of us have any feelings; it was all over a long time ago, so what is there to say? I’m not the sort of person who harbours feelings about the past, at least not when we parted on such bad terms. I’d rather leave things as they are.’

‘I’d like to know what you’ve been doing.’

‘Really?’ Her fine, well-shaped brows rose.

‘You’re married!’ It was a statement rather than a question, almost an accusation.

Tanya was tempted to let him go on thinking it, but an innate sense of honesty made her say quietly, ‘I was.’

A quick frown. ‘You’re divorced?’

‘I’m a widow.’ she replied flatly.

‘Oh—I’m sorry.’ His face shadowed. ‘You have my condolences.’

Tanya was not sure that he meant it, and she looked at him coldly. ‘Thank you.’

‘And I’d still like to talk to you.’

She shook her head firmly. ‘There’s no point. It would be a complete waste of time. Goodbye, Alejandro.’

She did not expect him to let her go, but he did, though she was conscious of him watching her as she moved down the narrow enclosed corridor to her room.

Not until she closed the door behind her did Tanya realise that she was holding her breath, and now she dragged a deep gulp of air into her tortured lungs. It was worse than she had imagined. Over the years her anger had faded. Peter had restored her sanity, made her see that she couldn’t dwell on the past forever. But what she hadn’t remembered was the physical attraction. None of that had faded—he still had the power to turn her limbs to jelly whether she liked it or not.