But he managed to find a second wind from somewhere. Four goes and a triple word score later, he’d only managed to bloody win. Again.
I folded my arms. ‘Not fair. You should get points knocked off for attempted cheating. And I’m still not convinced the Irish spelling of liquorice has got an S in it.’
He tilted his nose up and sniffed the air. ‘Mmm. What is that intoxicating aroma?’
‘Stinky dog?’ I said, glancing at Sandy. After a week absorbing the dirt and smells of the muddy campsite, she was badly in need of a bath.
‘No, there’s something else. I think it’s—’ He sniffed again. ‘Yes, yes it is. The sweet smell of victory.’
‘You’re a funny man.’
‘Mmmmm,’ he said, sniffing again. ‘Go on, grab yourself a lungful. Such stuff as winners are made of. Not that you’d know.’
‘Sorry, all I can smell is testosterone.’
‘What does testosterone smell like?’
‘Almonds,’ I said with a smile. ‘Come on, you daft sod, deal the tiles. Best of three.’
It felt like I got to know him better during those few weeks than I’d known Ethan in the ten years we’d been a couple.
Eventually though, I felt like I’d trespassed on his Irish hospitality long enough. I knew I was hiding, and the time had come to work out what my next step needed to be.
‘Okay, so I can’t go home, that’s a given,’ I said to Jack as we sat round the camping table out in the awning one warm evening, making a plan.
‘Couldn’t you though? What about your nan?’
Rule One had gone out of the window to some extent since I’d opened up to him about my mum, and he was pretty knowledgeable about the people in my life now.
‘She’s in sheltered housing. I wouldn’t be allowed to stay there. Anyway, I wouldn’t want her worrying about me.’
‘Laurel?’
‘No. I don’t want to be anywhere near Ethan. I want a completely new start.’
‘So you need to rent somewhere.’
‘And there we hit on problem one.’ I scribbled it down on the notepad in front of me. ‘I’m skint. Not a pot to do the proverbial in.’
‘You know I’ll give you money if you need it.’
‘And you know I won’t take it. I won’t take a penny I can’t pay back.’
‘You can pay it back when you’re working.’
I shook my head. ‘Could take me ages to get a job. I can’t take your money, Jack.’
‘If I said please?’
‘Not even if you begged.’
‘You’ve got that independence thing going on. Okay, I can respect that,’ he said, smiling. ‘Have you really got no money of your own though?’
‘Yeah, I’ve got some. It’s sitting in Ethan’s bank account, where I can’t get at it.’
‘Why?’
I flushed. ‘It was his idea. Years ago, when we first moved in together. I was only young and I didn’t have a current account, so he said I could share his. Just till I was over eighteen and we could put it in both our names. Then we just… never got round to it, somehow.’
‘So he kept your own money from you?’
Jack looked shocked, and I couldn’t quite suppress a feeling of humiliation and shame. I stifled an urge to defend Ethan from something I knew was entirely indefensible.
‘No, I had a bank card,’ I said. ‘In his name, obviously. I left it behind in my handbag when I ran off, along with other useful things like my mobile.’
‘Could you get it?’
‘What’s the point? He’d only have it stopped. That’s the first thing he’d do, try to force me home again.’ I shuddered. ‘And I can’t see him. Not yet.’
‘You can’t hide forever, Kitty.’
‘Please, Jack. I really can’t.’
‘Okay, if you’re not ready I won’t push,’ he said gently. ‘Have you really got nothing at all in your own name?’
‘Not that I can access immediately. Some savings in an ISA, but I have to give six months’ notice to withdraw. And I’d need my passport to prove my identity.’
‘Which is…?’
‘At home – I mean, at Ethan’s. Everything that proves who I am is at Ethan’s or Mum’s. Currently I’m Jane Doe, of no fixed abode. As a legal person, I don’t exist.’
‘Well, let’s park that for now. Next problem?’
‘Nowhere to live,’ I said, scribbling it down.
‘Haven’t you got any other close family?’
‘Just my dad’s sister, Aunty Julia.’ I frowned. ‘And she’s not to be trusted.’
‘Any friends who could put you up for a while?’
‘Couple of old university pals I could try.’
‘Okay, that’s an option to explore. So, problem three: work.’
‘Mmm. Not so many jobs in publishing, especially something as niche as travel guides.’
‘Who says you have to do that though? This is a new start, remember.’