Captivated: Letting Go / Seize the Night

She’d asked him here. No. She’d told him to come with her. She’d practically attacked him in the front entryway. And now she was on top of him, tearing off his clothes. Colleen swallowed against a suddenly bitter taste.

“I...I’m sorry,” she managed to say. “I’m not usually this...demanding.”

Jesse’s hands rubbed her thighs, moving up to settle on her hips and keep her in place when she tried to get off him. “Don’t be sorry.”

Controlling bitch, echoed Steve’s voice. She tried to push it away, but the memories rose up again. Bitter. Hateful. His mockery, disdain, contempt and, finally, derision. Always have to have it your way, huh? Can’t just take it like a woman should? Frigid, boring bitch. Maybe get a few drinks in you, maybe that’ll make you more fuckable.

Colleen shook her head, scattering her ex-husband’s taunts. She drew in a breath, looking down at Jesse. At least the dim lighting made this a little less embarrassing. Gave her a little extra courage. She got off him, anxious for a second when it seemed like he wouldn’t release her. She sat next to him on the couch, close but not quite touching.

Jesse turned toward her. “Hey. You okay? Look, we don’t have to...um... I don’t want you to think we have to. If you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” That was the truth, though she said it in a low voice, half hoping he wouldn’t hear. “It’s just that it’s been a while. And I’m not sure I can. Come, I mean. I’m not sure.”

Silence. She counted the beat of her heart. Five, then six thumps before he spoke.

“I’d like to help you, if I can.” Jesse cleared his throat lightly. “Shit, that sounded cheesy. I mean I’d like to... Shit, Colleen, I want you. Have for...well, long enough. I’d like to make love to you.”

That made her laugh, too loud. “You mean fuck.”

“I’d like to fuck you, yeah.” Jesse’s voice was closer to her ear than she’d expected. His breath, warm on her face. He didn’t touch her, though. “I’d like to make you come. I’d really like that.”

Her need had made her greedy, but when she kissed him, it was slower and softer than it had been. Less frantic. When he moved closer to put his arms around her, she let him. It went on that way for a while. The kissing deepened. His hands moved over her, gently at first, a little harder if she moaned or sighed. Their clothes came off, and being naked with him was less nerve-racking than she’d have imagined, if only because the room was still so dark.

When his hand moved between her legs, stroking, Colleen shivered and twitched. Her breath caught. When he pushed her back against the cushions, murmuring a question about condoms, she blinked.

“I don’t have anything.” How stupid had she been? Inviting him back here with no preparation.

“Hold on.” He pushed off her, but he was back in half a minute. “I have one in my wallet.”

Flashbacks to high school made her sit up. Without his heat, she was starting to get cold. “Is that a safe way to keep it?”

“I have a special wallet,” Jesse told her. He was silent for another second, then sounded half embarrassed. “It’s got a special pocket.”

“Oh.” At this she sat up and pulled her knees to her chest. “You must use a lot of condoms.”

She heard the hesitation in his answer, but then he moved closer to brush his lips over hers as he replied, “I believe in always being prepared. That’s all.”

Then he was moving over her again. Hands, mouth, teeth. His fingers slipped between her legs, making her shiver and shake, but then moved away. She waited, tense, for him to push her legs apart. To enter her. She wasn’t going to come, not even close to it.

“Let go,” he whispered. “Let me make you feel good, Colleen.”

But she couldn’t, that was the trouble. Steve had been right, she was too controlling. Too uptight. A sobbing breath hitched out of her. This was going wrong. She wanted it to be over so Jesse would leave. She stroked his fully erect cock, concentrating, listening to the sound of his breathing get faster. She sheathed him and positioned herself, ready.

But instead of pushing inside her, Jesse shifted on the couch so he could be on his back. She’d bought this sofa, love at first sight, because of how wide it was. Plenty of room for him to stretch out, no cushions in the way. He tugged her along with him, urging her to straddle his thighs the way she had before. His cock jutted between them. His hands pressed her hips for a second, his thighs bunching beneath them. When she touched him, his cock jumped. Jesse moaned softly.

He put his arms over his head, his fingers linked.

Everything inside her blazed. Her breathe soughed out of her, hitching in her throat as she did her best but failed to hold back a moan of her own. The muscles in her belly tightened. Her pussy clenched.

Colleen let her fingers drift over his belly, feeling his muscles leap and twitch. She looked at his face, his closed eyes. His tightened lips. Jesse’s hips pushed upward.

Slowly, slowly, Colleen seated herself on his cock. Her thighs gripped his hips. She waited for him to move, to grab her or to start thrusting. To take control.

But Jesse didn’t. He acquiesced to her every move with his own soft sigh and the shudder of his body. He throbbed inside her.

She didn’t move.

Not for some long minutes as she concentrated on the feeling of him filling her. The beat and pulse of him inside her. He strained, shivering, but didn’t move more than with the subtle shift of his in-and-out breath.

His hands stayed locked over his head. And that, oh, that giving up, that giving in... Her hips rolled, finally, unable to stay still. She wanted—no, needed—to move on him. To feel his thickness sliding in and out of her.

“You feel so good,” he whispered.

More heat flooded her, rising up her throat to paint her face. She rocked on him, her clit rubbing his belly every time she moved. He would grab her now, she thought. Change up the rhythm to suit himself. And then it would be a rush to see if she could finish getting off before he did. But Jesse didn’t do that. His eyes opened, locking with hers. He thrust, but in time with her motions. His fingers unlinked.

“No,” she said suddenly. Harder than she meant to. “Keep them like that.”

She thought he’d protest, or sneer, or, worst of all, laugh, but instead his gaze went dreamy and heavy-lidded. His hands locked tight to each other again. And best of all, he groaned, his throat working with that sound of pleasure as he arched and moved beneath her.

“How good do I feel?” Her voice didn’t sound like her own.

“So good.”

She rode him harder, desire rising. Her fingers dug into his lean sides, and Jesse gasped. “Tell me how good.”

“So fucking good.” His voice broke, rough and rasping. “Fuck, Colleen. You feel like heaven.”

She slipped a hand between them to stroke her clit while she fucked him. Her pleasure spiraled higher and higher, everything coiling and twisting and tangling as she rocked on his erection. She was lost in the ecstasy, urged on by the look in his eyes and the grim press of his lips. The sweat on his forehead. He groaned again, and she almost came from the sound of his pleasure.

They moved together, faster, in perfect time. Her climax teased her, just out of reach. She wasn’t going to make it, and anxiety pierced her again, making her want to move more desperately—if only to get him off so she could pretend she had.

And then she looked again at his linked fingers. The bulge of his muscles in his arms and the tendons of his wrists showed his struggle to keep his hands together. And why? Because she’d told him to.

Then she was coming, no holding it back, and the rush and push of her orgasm stole her breath. She wept with it, though she didn’t want to. She dug her nails into him, and Jesse bucked beneath her. They finished together, and Colleen let herself fall forward to rest on his chest, her face buried against the side of his neck. They stayed that way, breathing hard, until his arms went around her, holding her close. And even though she hadn’t told him it was okay, Colleen discovered it was the perfect thing for him to do.

Chapter Five

“I’ve never eaten here.” Jesse pointed with his chin toward the front door of the Blue Moon Cafe, one of Fell’s Point’s most popular breakfast spots. “The lines are insane.”

Colleen, that glorious hair tucked under a ridiculous knit cap, grinned and kicked the snow off her boots against the concrete steps. “Tourist.”

“Hey!” he protested as he followed her into the tiny restaurant, furnished with an eclectic array of mismatched tables and chairs. “Unfair.”

She laughed at him over her shoulder and waved at the waitress behind the counter. “Hey, Sheila. Wasn’t sure you’d be open. But I had a craving for the French toast that just wouldn’t quit.”

“Mike made it in, so I did, too. But you might be the only customers.” Sheila waved at the empty tables. “Take your pick. Might be the only time you ever see it this empty.”

“There will be others,” Colleen said. “Bad weather doesn’t mean people won’t need to eat.”