Getting Married Again

Jackson lifted his suddenly heavy head and stared at Lexie, barely able to contain his sorrow. He’d never get her back now. How could he, with this child between them? “You were the only thing…” Jackson let his voice trail off, swallowing thickly. She was the reason he’d found a way out of that fire. She and Heidi had been his reason for living. Lexie was his talisman, for heaven’s sake.

A cold emptiness settled inside of him. He leaned against the kitchen wall, needing support for knees suddenly as limp as spaghetti.

“I’m sorry you had to learn about it this way,” Lexie said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I wasn’t sure how to tell you.”

“How could you do this to me?” He’d be the laughingstock of his Hot Shot crew, of every crew and support group from Montana to Arizona—if he wasn’t already. Had Lexie left him for this guy? And what about her infertility problem? Maybe it wasn’t her problem, after all. Maybe all those doctors were wrong. Maybe all his sperm weren’t accounted for.

“I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it doesn’t change anything between us.”

And then the reality of the situation hit him. He pulled Lexie deeper into the kitchen and lowered his voice. “You’ve been walking around like…like…that for months, haven’t you.” He pointed to her swollen belly.

She arched her brows at him as if he’d lost his mind. “That’s right.”

“And everyone in town knows you’re pregnant.”

“Probably.” Lexie crossed her arms just underneath her very full breasts, resting her arms over her round stomach.

Jackson pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s why everyone I saw today asked if I’d seen you. They’re salivating out there right now.” This time he pointed toward the dining room. “Just waiting to hear how I react to…to…you!”

“Probably.”

He forced himself to lower his voice. “Smiley. Birdie. Spider. And who knows how many others.”

“It is a situation that people appear to be curious about.”

Jackson slapped the wall with his palm. “Well, I’m curious, too, damn it.”

“Really?”

Jackson tilted his head to the ceiling as if the cracked stucco held the answer to his problems. This other guy was going to move in, sleep in his bed, and kiss his wife good-morning, not to mention good-night.

Lexie was lost to him. And Heidi…

Oh, hell.

Jackson rubbed his dry, sleep-deprived eyes. “Who is he, Lex? Who did this to us?”

Lexie’s mouth dropped open, then she narrowed her eyes at him and said, “You did, you idiot.”

“SAY AGAIN?” Jackson squinted at her.

Keeping her arms crossed, Lexie tapped her forefinger impatiently on one arm, unable to believe Jackson thought she’d slept with another man. And here she’d assumed he’d been upset that she was pregnant. “I’m seven months along.” Three months ago, she’d been told not to be out of bed for more than a few hours at a time or she’d lose the baby because of an incompetent cervix. She’d spent three months being unable to do things with Heidi the way she wanted. Months spent teetering on the edge of failure. Months of—

“And?” Jackson prompted.

Maybe the breakup sex hadn’t been as memorable for him as it had been for her, or maybe he couldn’t add. Lexie wasn’t sure why this wasn’t sinking in. Finally, when she couldn’t stand the fact that he didn’t comprehend her, Lexie tossed her hands in his direction. “And it’s yours.”

Her outburst was loud enough to carry to the dining room. Somebody mumbled at the Hot Shot table and was promptly shushed. The Hot Shots weren’t this quiet and attentive at the movie theater. She and Jackson were putting on quite a show.

It took a moment for Jackson to process this information, in which time Lexie wondered, as she had for months, how Jackson would react to the idea of becoming a father once again.

Then Jackson smiled at her. Even with half his face covered by a beard, his grin was still powerful. Jackson’s smile could charm the birds out of the trees, convince a teacher that his dog had indeed eaten his homework or reassure a lonely teenage girl who’d never felt loved before that she was the most important thing in the world to him. When Jackson wore that smile, people believed everything he said.

“This is fantastic, Lex. I wish you’d told me sooner.”

Before Lexie knew what was happening, Jackson had his arms around her. His warmth enveloped her. Jackson’s fingers began making circles around the small of her back in just the right spot to relieve the soreness. For the first time in months, Lexie felt a little of the pressure inside her ease.

Wow.

Instinctively, she melted against him. They’d dreamed of a large family, tried as many fertility treatments as they could afford, all to no avail. A part of Lexie had died with the baby she’d miscarried last year, but still, she’d told no one, denying herself the comfort of Jackson’s arms because she wouldn’t settle for anything less than a strong, loving relationship.

Jackson nuzzled her hair and she felt his breath waft across her cheek. Then he pressed a gentle kiss on her temple as if they were still a couple very much in love.

Heidi whooped, spying from her position at the kitchen window and the Hot Shot crew broke into applause at her cue.

Uh-oh.

Dumbfounded at finding herself in the one place she longed to be, the one place she couldn’t be without risking her heart again, it took several heartbeats for the alarm to register in Lexie’s head. She knew Jackson cared for her, but if he were to make a list of his priorities, she’d come out somewhere near the bottom. Lexie would be a fool to let him back into her life, even if he was the father of the little one growing inside of her.

The baby poked her.

Lexie began to pull back. “Jackson, you shouldn’t be touching me like that.”

“Another baby, Lex. This is perfect.”

His fingers were magic, but Lexie needed to fight against his touch. They were divorced. She couldn’t go through the disappointment and heartache of having Jackson in her life again, seeing him leave to risk his life to fight a fire, gluing herself to the television screen in the hopes that she’d see him, praying she wouldn’t recognize him on screen because then the danger would become all too real. And when he was home, he found dozens of reasons to stay away, to help others, leaving Lexie and Heidi on their own.

“Jackson, I’m asking you to stop.”

“Why?” He gazed down at her with such tenderness, Lexie found it hard to find the words she had to say, found it hard to move away. She forced herself to dredge up all the unpleasant memories—Jackson missing from the dinner table, Jackson forgetting to pick up Heidi’s Christmas present from the store in Boise, Jackson unreachable when she’d miscarried. For Lexie, love meant putting a priority on someone and being there through the good times, the bad times, even the boring times. She and Heidi deserved that much.

The baby stretched, pushing on Lexie’s bladder and her lungs simultaneously, and holding the position. This kid was definitely into yoga.

Lexie managed to step back. “We’re divorced.”

Jackson’s brow puckered. “It’s my baby.”

“So? You weren’t around to raise the first one.” Shocked at the harshness of her own words, she retreated another step as she struggled to catch her breath.

“I work in a job that takes me away for weeks at a time.” His words were clipped and his green eyes flashed a warning.

Here was the anger Lexie had expected when she’d asked him to leave a year ago, the anger that she’d thought would prove he still loved her.

Too late. Why was Jackson always too late?

“I know that.” When it seemed he’d argue further, Lexie held up a hand, willing it not to tremble. With her other hand, she tenderly pushed on her stomach, encouraging the baby to give her breathing room. “I’m not going to talk about this now. You’ve just found out about this baby, and you’re upset.” And Lexie hadn’t had any time to prepare for this meeting.

“I’m not upset, I’m ecstatic.” He wasn’t smiling. In fact, when he spoke, it was with a clenched jaw. “I’m coming home. I’m moving back in. We’ll get married.”