Anecdotes. Humor from Russia

– No.

– Then take this, it’s thicker… and do you prefer fishing rod or spinning reel?

– Fishing rod.

– Then take this, it’s the best one. But with this it’s better to angle from a boat. Do you have one?

– No.

– Now, I recommend this two-seat rubber boat.

– Good.

– Heigh, how you will carry all that, you need a good car trailer, multi-purpose, will this do?

– It will.

– What car will you fix it to?

– Mercedes 600.

– Come on, it’s not a car to go angling, you need a jeep, off-roader with full speed across country… and we have Land Cruiser, will you take it?

– I will.

– Your bill comes to USD 62,000, please, pay at the desk.

The boss comes close to him.

– That’s a good boy. Wow, starting with the hooklet you upsell the fisher that way!

– Actually, he came to buy pads for his wife. But I told him that if his wife has a period, there is no use sitting home for three days.

***

A mental physician at the asylum decided to follow up his work. He got three nutters together and asked the first one:

– Tell me, buddy, what do 1 +1 make?

– One thousand….

– Nuff said! Three months’ work down the plughole.

Then he asks the second of the same:

– May be you know what is 1 +1?

– A brick…

– Now we know with you too. He refers to the third person

– Now, what would you say?

– 2…

– Say that again?

– 2…

– Attaboy! Good for you! Tell me, how did you make it?

– Doc, it’s very simple. I divided one thousand by a brick.

***

– Mom, are you an Indian?

– What’s that, sonnie?

– Why the sculp lies on your bedside table?

***

A surgeon tells to an inmate who awaked after general anesthesia:

– The operation was effective, you shouldn’t have cried and boiled over so.

– But what have I got to do? Doc, I’ve come to the hospital to do the windows.

***

– Dear, I have a naughty dream of you.

– And what I’ve been up to with you?

– You came and screwed everything up.

***

A small boy comes to music class, opens the violin case, and wow… there is a machine gun!

A teacher got a shock:

– What does it all mean?

The boy drew a sigh:

– Only that my father went to a bank with the violin.