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Anecdotes. Humor from Russia

Год написания книги
2018
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Anecdotes. Humor from Russia
Михаил Курсеев

Сборник содержит лучшие анекдоты, собранные автором за последние три года. Человек, обладающий чувством юмора, эту книгу может сделать настольной, а лучше застольной. Делитесь юмором с друзьями всегда и везде.

Anecdotes

Humor from Russia

Editor Михаил Курсеев

Translator Андрей Мозжухин

© Андрей Мозжухин, translation, 2018

ISBN 978-5-4493-0648-7

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

***

Once a Russian, an American and a Jew met:

The American says:

– Let’s meet at my place, I will arrange for snacks (he is naming a hell of dainty dishes)

The Russian says:

– Well then, I will come with a carton of vodka!

The Jew says:

– And me, I will come with my brother.

***

An Arab is toiling along a desert. Suddenly, he sees a vendor kiosk with a Jew in a serving hatch. The Arab addresses him:

– Have a heart, give me some water.

– I have no water, but I can sell you a red tie.

– Why, the hell, should I have a tie in the desert? You’d better give water!

– I told you, I have n water. Bu there is a restaurant in a mile. My brother is its owner. Go there, he will give you water.

In an hour the Arab crept back with his tongue hanging out.

– OK, man, sell me your fucking tie.

– What’s the matter?

– Your brother didn’t let me in without a tie!

***

Making a visit with:

American: with self-esteem and dignity.

Russian: with a bottle of vodka.

French: with an inamorata.

Jew: with the wife and a cake.

Returning from guests:

American: with self-esteem and dignity

Russian: with ta black eye.

French: with the host’s wife

Jew: with the wife and a cake.

What do they think of on return:

American “Did I lose my self-esteem?”

Russian: “Will Svetka let me in or kick me off?”

French: “There is still a daughter”

Jew: “There are still oranges”

***

– Tanechka, it seems to me that I am pregnant.

– And what are the signs?

– I am sick of work and I really want to be by a salty sea.

***

A mother of a second-former calls her friend. Her son is also a second-former.

– Have you done your sons math homework?
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