A play for 2 people. An invented life. Comedy

Semchik (with interest). Strange reaction… What about the cat aren't you interested in?

Olchik (anxiously). What will happen to her, the cat has nine lives, and I have one Nissan, in which my sister has just left for Novosibirsk. (Asks more demanding). Which Nissan, I ask?

Semchik (disinterestedly). How do I know? There were no details about the car. For some reason.

Olchik takes off, runs to the phone, starts dialing his sister's number. Semchik breaks down after him, takes the phone, puts it in place, drives Olya away.

Olchik (anxiously). I have to call my sister! Find out if everything is in order!

Semchik (with vindictive calmness). I also had an important correspondence, but it didn't stop you, so excuse me, citizen, we will sit in "happy ignorance" together!

Olchik is angry, offended, but where to go. He gives up his position, sits down indignantly in the Semchik's chair.

Olchik (displeased). Here, Semchik, you know how to be an unpleasant person!

Semchik (with a clear hint). There is someone to learn from…

they look at each other. They understand each other.

Semchik sits down in Olya's chair.

Olchik (trying to calm down and pull himself together). So how is she?

Semchik (wiping the thread of the conversation). Who!

Olchik (trying to calm down and pull himself together). I'm asking about the cat! Survived? No?

Semchik (calmly). A cat has nine lives, what will happen to it.

Olchik looks at this with disbelief.

Semchik (catching this look). Yes, she survived-she survived.

Olchik (still a little nervous). Wow, of course. It's not like that with people. I stumbled out of the blue and I'm ready. How many such cases?

Semchik (in solidarity). That yes. To know, a person is less valuable to nature and the universe as a whole than a cat.

Olchik thinks about it.

Olchik (with thoughtful interest). Semchik, but you're right! In the sense that… That your words are very similar to the truth. After all, in fact, a person is not valued a damn thing either among his own or among strangers. How much work, care, effort it takes for a person to be born, get stronger, get on his feet, learn something and show something to the world. But a moment is enough for a person to disappear.

Semchik (thoughtfully). And do you know… On the one hand, it seems to be unfair, but on the other hand, it is very right that everything is exactly like that.

Olchik (with a hit-and-run). What is right? Have you ever given birth? You know what toxicosis is, what it is – don't pick it up, don't run around here, take care here. What is only a spoiled figure worth! Yes, this alone outweighs the scales in favor of the injustice of the balance of birth and death, not to mention everything else.

Semchik (calmly, judiciously). In an ideal, or even just in a conscious society – yes! Of course, your truth is 200%. But this is not our case. Unfortunately, Olcha, our world systematically and tirelessly generates ignorance. How much dirt, rot, meanness in the hearts of people. Not everyone, of course, has a minority, but, alas, an active minority! Now imagine what the world would become if these active ignorant minorities were as tenacious as the same cats. Murderers, rapists, robbers, swindlers… Continue?

Olchik jumps up from his chair. She is practically shaking with indignation and indignation, but there is nothing to oppose Semchik's iron argument, and this angers even more.

Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). What did you do?

Semchik (taken aback). What?

Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). Did you just prove me wrong?

Semchik shrugs his shoulders in confusion.

Olchik (nervously, with a psycho). You could have just kept silent, like all normal men, no, you had to trample me into the dirt, show the breadth of your perception and my worthlessness, respectively! And you did it brilliantly! Burn you in hell for this, you brute! I hate you!

Olchik quickly leaves, nervously waving his arms and stamping his feet.

Semchik throws up his hands in misunderstanding of what he said. Silently, he moves his lips, thinks something about himself.

He addresses the audience, also with a psycho, jumping up from his chair.

Semchik (nervously, to the viewer). What kind of creatures are women anyway? You are silent – bad! If you open your mouth, you get even worse. Praising means flattering, scolding means you are biased. Yes, what you won't say, or what you won't keep silent about, what you won't do – you'll screw up anyway! How, tell me, do I even communicate with these pretentious creatures?

Semchik goes to the table, nervously grabs something there, shoves it into his mouth, chews… Gradually an interesting thought comes to his mind, he calms down.

Semchik (nervously, to the viewer, with his mouth full). Although… Although, actually, there is an idea… (He keeps the intrigue, chews, drinks, speaks normally.) And what if men and women could speak the same language and understand each other at a glance… They would be, as they say, on the same wave!

A blissful smile can be seen on Semchik's face.

Intriguing music sounds.

ZTM.

Scene 2. Mutual understanding.

A positive musical composition sounds.

Olchik enters with a bottle of mineral water. Dressed specifically. Sneakers, wide trousers, a T-shirt, a bandit cap on his head. The gait is pale. A specific kid.

He takes off his cap, throws it to the side, not even looking where. He spits on his hands, smooths his hair on his head. Opens mineral water, drinks from the throat greedily, in big gulps.

Semchik enters in a dressing gown and boots. Moaning, holding his head, he looks pained.

The musical accompaniment subsides and ends.

Semchik (howling plaintively). Ahhh, my head is splitting.

Olchik (in his own way). Hey, playboy. Here you go, the mineral water is cold, now it's the very thing. It will let go a little. At the very dryness, the cap is hard.

Olchik throws a mineral water, Semchik catches it, immediately begins to drink it from the throat, also with greedy sips.

Olchik (carefully falling into a chair). Oh, we sat yesterday… (He turns a dubious look at Semchik.) Or lay down?

Semchik (drunk). What am I? Do I remember?