Tully

She got in.

‘I gotta get home. My mother’s home by six o’clock.’ Robin drove to the Potwin Elementary School, a block away from the Grove, and parked there.

‘So what’s this about the day-care center?’

She shrugged. ‘Just something I do on Thursday afternoons.’

‘Every Thursday afternoon?’

‘Sure.’

‘For how long?’

Tully rubbed her hands together. ‘This is my third year.’

‘For God’s sake, why?’

Tully shrugged again. ‘All the teachers – they’re all older. The kids need someone young to play with.’

Robin touched her hair tenderly. ‘It’s obvious they like you.’

‘Yeah, you don’t know what we play. I’m the Wicked Witch of the West, and they’re supposed to kill me when they catch me.’

Robin smiled. ‘You like children, Tully.’

‘Yes, for two hours a week, I like other people’s children,’ she said, moving away from his hand on her hair.

Robin cleared his throat. ‘Listen, I’m sorry about the other day. I didn’t mean to upset you. Please go out with me again, and if you don’t want to tell me anything, I won’t ask you. You can set the rules, Tull, just don’t break up with me.’

Tully was glad he had come. She missed him, but she also thought it was a good time to be honest with him about some things. ‘Robin, I’ll be glad to go out with you,’ Tully said. ‘I like you, you’re a nice guy, but you just have to understand a couple of things about me. One – I don’t much like to talk about my business. And two –’ Tully struggled to find the right words. ‘And two, this – we – can at best be a temporary thing.’ She felt a little tight inside seeing his reaction, his blank stare, a hurt, mute face. What does he expect? she thought. What the hell did he think was going to happen?

‘Robin, what?’

‘Why temporary, Tully?’ he asked.

‘Robin, because I have plans. I got plans.’ That just don’t include you.

‘Plans?’ he said wearily.

‘Yes. I’m a senior, you know. I’m going to be eighteen years old. I’m going to do something with my life.’

‘Like what? Dance?’

Tully shook her head. ‘No dancing. All that practice, all that competition, those grueling hours, that’s not a life, not a life for me, anyway. From one jail to another,’ she said. ‘No, I like to dance, been dancing since I was young. You could say’ – she half smiled – ‘that dance was my first passion –’

‘That’s nothing to be proud of, Tully,’ Robin said.

‘Who is proud?’ she said defenselessly. ‘I’m not proud of it, that’s just the way it is.’

‘So pursue it.’

‘No,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to be trapped by dancing.’ She rubbed her hands together. ‘Classical dance is out of the question and every other kind involves taking your clothes off.’ And I just don’t want to take my clothes off. She never had been able to spend the hundred-dollar bill she won the time she took off her shirt during a dance contest in Tortilla Jack’s on College Hill.

‘You don’t seem like you much want to be trapped by anything,’ said Robin.

‘You’re right,’ she said. ‘So?’

Robin wanted to know what else was there.

‘College.’

‘Good, college is good,’ he said. ‘So?’

She sighed. ‘Jennifer and I are applying to Stanford. My grades aren’t great. I’ll never get in of course…’ she trailed off.

Robin interrupted her. ‘Stanford. That’s an Ivy League-type school. Where is that?’

‘California, actually,’ said Tully.

‘California?’ exclaimed Robin. ‘I see. So what do you plan to do at this Stanford?’

‘If you’d let me finish, I said I’ll never get in. But UC Santa Cruz is nearby, so I applied there too. Get a degree, get a job, dance on the weekends, see the ocean,’ said Tully.

‘A degree in what?’

‘Whatever. Who cares? A degree.’

‘What about Jennifer?’

‘Jen is going to be a doctor. A pediatrician. Or a child psychiatrist.’

‘And Jennifer wants to do this, too, does she? Go to California?’

‘Of course she does,’ said Tully. ‘She suggested it.’

‘Oh, well, then I guess that’s that,’ said Robin, looking away into the side window. ‘I guess that’s that.’

Tully sat quietly. ‘So I see,’ said Robin.

‘So what do you want to go out with me for? Do you just want me to tide you over till next year?’

‘Next year?’ said Tully. ‘I was thinking more like till next week.’

‘Yes,’ said Robin. ‘Oh, yes, I’m sure,’ he said sarcastically, hitting the wheel. ‘I’m sure. So, Tully, tell me, what do you want to be, in California, when you grow up?’

‘Dream-free,’ replied Tully.

FOUR Winter (#ulink_863c4e9f-576f-5447-b29d-1d5fff1679e5)