Tully

When the three of them were walking toward Topeka High, Julie leaned over and asked Tully, ‘Listen, tell me, did you refuse him because you were my friend or because you just didn’t like him?’

Tully put her arm around Julie. ‘I refused,’ she said, ‘because I am your friend. But if I wasn’t your friend, I would have also refused, because I don’t like him.’

Makker, Mandolini, and Martinez – or the 3Ms – sat at the same table in the decorated cafeteria. The food was nondescript, to go with the nondescript music. But after dinner, everyone was able to walk around to the other tables. Tully saw Jennifer pass by Jack’s table. He waved to her, and she waved back but didn’t stop. Tully was amused but became less amused when afterwards Jennifer was mute for a half hour until Tully dragged her out to what was passing for a dance floor and the girls danced together, their flushed faces inches away from one another.

Gail was there, looking almost nice in a blue dress and new hair, Tully thought grudgingly. Tully stopped by Gail’s table to talk to a guy in her math class, and Gail did not even look Tully’s way. Strolling over to Gail, Tully lowered her head and said quietly, ‘I’d ask you to dance, but I can’t take your rejection.’

‘Get away from me, you tramp,’ said Gail.

Tully recoiled as if her mother had slapped her. But her face was a Tullyface, and she coldly smiled when she said, ‘Gail, you’re a sore loser.’

‘Get away from me,’ Gail repeated, shaking.

‘Ooops, what I meant was,’ said Tully, ‘Gail, you’re just a plain loser.’

Tully and Jennifer danced together some more. There wasn’t much of a dance floor and there wasn’t much dance music, either. Wait till the prom, the girls said to each other, and then Jack, in a suit and unshaven, walked over and took Jennifer’s upper arm and asked if he could cut in. When he said it, however, he stared right at Tully, making her go red. Watching them dance, without touching each other, Tully felt even more uncomfortable, feeling another stab of the anxiety that moved her at Jennifer’s party. Tully saw in Jennifer’s face lost deer and something else, too. Insanity. Sheer, raw, naked insanity. All she needs is a straitjacket for that expression she’s got on her face. She never talks about him! thought Tully. She never talks about him, yet where does it all go? Where does all that’s behind the crazy look on her face go? Who sees it? Not me. And if not me, who? Julie? No, Julie and I both have no clue. Does he see it? I hope so, thought Tully, I fucking hope so.

And then the inexplicable happened. When the song ended, Jack and Jennifer came over to Tully. A new song began. Yvonne Elliman not wanting nobody baby if she couldn’t have you, and Jack asked Tully if she wanted to dance.

‘You’re famous, Tully,’ he said. ‘Let’s dance.’

Tully shot Jennifer a quick look. She seemed fine about it, if a bit vacant. And then Tully and Jack danced. Tully toned it down so much that she even heard some guy shout from across the room, ‘Come on, Tully Makker! Show him your stuff!’

But Tully wasn’t going to be showing Jack any of her stuff with Jennifer standing there looking at them. Tully made sure she barely touched him. He was much taller than she was, even with her heels. Tully usually danced with her eyes closed unless she was drunk, but tonight she wasn’t drunk and her eyes were open. She casually looked up into his face. Jack smiled at her, and again Tully saw something in his eyes. Something…clear.

‘Jack-ieeee!’ squealed a voice near Tully. She turned around. A girl was standing next to them. Shakie Lamber. Everyone knew Shakie. She was the Homecoming Queen.

‘Jack-ieeee!’ whined Shakie again. ‘Pleeeease, can I cut in?’

‘Do you want to dance with me or Tully?’ asked Jack.

Shakie gave Tully a perfunctory smile. ‘With you, of course, I’m afraid Tully is just too good for me.’

‘Well, then, you’ll have to ask Tully if you can cut in, won’t you?’ said Jack.

‘Be my guest,’ said Tully, relieved to get off the floor and not be stared at anymore by Jennifer.

Soon the noise got to be too much for Jennifer. She never liked noise, and Tully joined her in a walk down the school corridors.

‘How many lockers on the first floor?’ asked Tully, passing by the front doors.

‘Counting the ones in the Admin office and the wings? Five hundred and twenty.’

‘How many handmade bricks did it take to build our school?’

‘Nine hundred thousand,’ answered Jennifer automatically.

‘What’s Topeka High’s minority population?’

‘Piss off,’ said Jennifer, snapping out of it.

Tully smiled. ‘Want to go upstairs to the library?’

‘It’s closed,’ said Jen.

‘Let’s try,’ said Tully, leading her friend up the stairs.

It was open. Tully and Jennifer walked in, softly shutting the door behind them. They sat on the bench near the fireplace with their feet up.

‘God, this place is creepy in the dark,’ said Jennifer. ‘Those stained glass windows seem so pretty during the day, but at night, boy, are they creepy.’

‘I wish the fireplace was lit,’ said Tully, with her back to the stained glass windows. She wasn’t creeped out at all.

‘Soooooo,’ said Jen slowly. ‘Did you and he talk about anything?’

‘What, while we jigged around? No,’ said Tully.

‘Nothing?’ Jennifer wanted to know.

‘Nothing, Mandolini,’ said Tully. ‘If you wanted me to talk to him you should’ve sent me there with a mission. I’ve never spoken two words to him in my entire life. You want me to engage in conversation on the dance floor when your stare is driving me to distraction?’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Jennifer. ‘I didn’t mean to stare. I just thought you might talk, that’s all.’

‘Talk about what?’

‘I don’t know,’ said Jennifer. ‘Something.’

‘Like? The weather? Politics? Football, God help me? You?’

‘You, maybe?’ said Jennifer.

‘Why the hell would we want to talk about me?’

‘Me, then,’ Jennifer said.

‘Now you’re making sense,’ said Tully. ‘We didn’t, though I’m beginning to wish we did, just so you’d stop interrogating me.’

‘It’s okay,’ Jennifer said. ‘Let’s go home.’

Later, in the Camaro, Tully said, ‘Jen, you know, you lost a bit of weight. I noticed when we were dancing, you’re getting this thin waist. Are you dieting?’

‘No, I just kinda go on not being very hungry lately,’ answered Jennifer. ‘Not thin like yours.’

‘No, but then I don’t have boobs like yours, either.’

Jennifer didn’t say anything.

‘Love your car,’ said Tully.