Coming Up Next

Coming Up Next
Penny Smith

A darkly comic novel about the fall and rise of a TV presenter. Written by an insider, it’s a page-turning account of life on the sofa and in front of the cameras.When Katie Fisher, morning TV presenter, returns from holiday it's to discover that she's literally yesterday's news. Publicly sacked from her job as anchor of Hello Britain! and replaced by a pert young thing, she does what any self-respecting thirty something would in these circumstances – she makes a dash for her parents and hits the bottle.But Katie, sooner or later, has to face the world, the photographers, and the backstage intrigue of morning television: the cut-throat, lecherous producers, the ambitious but vacant Keera, and Mike, her co-host, a trustworthy friend or just another one of the many back-stabbers? Humour is Katie's only weapon and, as things hit rock-bottom, it could provide a perfect solution to life after the sofa.Knowing, insightful and darkly comic, Penny Smith's novel is the insider's view of TV.

Coming Up Next

PENNY SMITH

For Mum and Dad, and Mrs Windsor

Contents

Cover (#u0a7b8efd-d7ee-5721-90ed-55fd897c19db)

Title Page (#u5c9af8b0-cab6-5241-93ec-958d5b5f9ebc)

CHAPTER ONE (#u47d39c84-7a22-5436-93f6-78f279043f21)

CHAPTER TWO (#u5bc1d78e-d1f6-5b40-aee6-780525394fc9)

CHAPTER THREE (#u10781a76-85f1-51c1-8516-61c943d55041)

CHAPTER FOUR (#u46e19597-4544-571d-a24e-fdcbff95deab)

CHAPTER FIVE (#u5d48508d-ca91-57d3-b729-fddd7246f154)

CHAPTER SIX (#uee6e473c-eeef-5d24-b60f-0c4b30518310)

CHAPTER SEVEN (#u1c70e013-ca1b-55e9-8640-39b07a43e5c2)

CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ELEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWELVE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FOURTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER FIFTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SIXTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER NINETEEN (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)

Copyright (#litres_trial_promo)

About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)

CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_f2ca7e71-0d78-5464-b94c-c54dfe411a3c)

In hindsight, the holiday had probably not been a good idea. Two weeks earlier, Katie Fisher had presented the Friday-morning programme, said, ‘Thanks for watching,’ to a nation in nightwear, and gone to collect her suitcase from the newsroom. Then, an unusual occurrence: she had been called in by the editor. He was normally too busy shouting at his minions to notice the presenters coming and going.

She had stepped breezily into his office and waited for him to say something. It was such a long time coming that, mentally, she started to take his clothes off. Yes, she thought. Unattractive underpants with his skinny little legs hanging out the bottom like spotty Twiglets. Possibly a fat pudenda, lightly sprinkled with ginger hairs. So, I have to make one choice to save the life of my brother. Lick the Twiglets. Or cut off my hand. No, too easy. Lick the Twiglets or …

‘Sorry?’ she asked.

‘I said,’ he put his fingers together, ‘that the annual research had thrown up some interesting information.’

‘Oh?’

‘Yes.’

‘What?’

‘Well …’ He paused.

She got the impression he was enjoying this.

‘They seem to be having a few problems with your, erm, allegedly quirky sense of humour.’

‘What’s that supposed to mean?’

‘The viewers – and therefore the advertisers – appear to find your brand of humour unappetizing. Unappealing. Unfunny. Irritating.’

Katie had never been good at concealing what she thought. The viewers could always tell exactly how she felt about the celebrity she was interviewing, or the story she was telling. So Simon could see that she hadn’t been expecting what he’d just told her. And, yes, he was enjoying it. He didn’t like Katie. She had made it quite obvious that she thought he was repulsive, despite his considerable efforts when he had arrived at the breakfast-television station.

‘So, what do you want me to do about the fact that viewers have a problem?’

‘Nothing, really. I mean, it’s you, isn’t it? You’re the queen of the lame joke. The princess of puns. Top banana of the never-ending once-upon-a-story. The managing editor suggested I told you, in line with procedure. That’s all.’