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The German Classics of the Nineteenth and Twentieth Centuries, Volume 04

Год написания книги
2018
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SCHLOSS

But why doesn't the court of awards interfere in the inheritance? What improbabilities!

LORENZ

So then we're going now, dear Gottlieb; farewell, don't let time hang heavy on your hands.

GOTTLIEB

Good-bye.

[Exit the brothers.]

GOTTLIEB (alone).

They are going away—and I am alone. We all three have our lodgings. Lorenz, of course, can till the ground with his horse, Barthel can slaughter and pickle his ox and live on it a while—but what am I, poor unfortunate, to do with my cat? At the most, I can have a muff for the winter made out of his fur, but I think he is even shedding it now. There he lies asleep quite comfortably—poor Hinze! Soon we shall have to part. I am sorry I brought him up, I know him as I know myself—but he will have to believe me, I cannot help myself, I must really sell him. He looks at me as though he understood. I could almost begin to cry.

[He walks up and down, lost in thought.]

MÜLLER

Well, you see now, don't, you, that it's going to be a touching picture of family life? The peasant is poor and without money; now, in the direst need, he will sell his faithful pet to some susceptible young lady, and in the end that will be the foundation of his good fortune. Probably it is an imitation of Kotzebue's Parrot; here the bird is replaced by a cat and the play runs on of itself.

FISCHER

Now that it's working out this way, I am satisfied too.

HINZE, the tom-cat (rises, stretches, arches his back, yawns, then speaks).

My dear Gottlieb—I really sympathize with you.

GOTTLIEB (astonished).

What, puss, you are speaking?

THE CRITICS (in the pit).

The cat is talking? What does that mean, pray?

FISCHER

It's impossible for me to get the proper illusion here.

MÜLLER

Rather than let myself be disappointed like this I never want to see another play all my life.

HINZE

Why should I not be able to speak, Gottlieb?

GOTTLIEB

I should not have suspected it; I never heard a cat speak in all my life.

HINZE

Because we do not join in every conversation, you think we're nothing but dogs.

GOTTLIEB

I think your only business is to catch mice.

HINZE

If we had not, in our intercourse with human beings, got a certain contempt for speech, we could all speak.

GOTTLIEB

Well, I'll own that! But why don't you give any one an opportunity to discover you?

HINZE

That's to avoid responsibility, for if once the power of speech were inflicted on us so-called animals, there wouldn't be any joy left in the world. What isn't the dog compelled to do and learn! The horse! They are foolish animals to show their intelligence, they must give way entirely to their vanity; we cats still continue to be the freest race because, with all our skill, we can act so clumsily that human beings quite give up the idea of training us.

GOTTLIEB

But why do you disclose all this to me?

HINZE

Because you are a good, a noble man, one of the few who take no delight in servility and slavery; see, that is why I disclose myself to you completely and fully.

GOTTLIEB (gives him his hand).

Good friend!

HINZE

Human beings labor under the delusion that the only remarkable thing about us is that instinctive purring which arises from a certain feeling of comfort; for that reason they often stroke us awkwardly and then we usually purr to secure ourselves against blows. But if they knew how to manage us in the right way, believe me, they would accustom our good nature to everything, and Michel, your neighbor's tom-cat, would even at times be pleased to jump through a hoop for the king.

GOTTLIEB

You're right in that.

HINZE

I love you, Master Gottlieb, very much. You have never stroked me the wrong way, you have let me sleep when I felt like it, you have objected whenever your brothers wanted to take me up, to go with me into the dark, and see the so-called electrical sparks—for all this I now want to show my gratitude.

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