Fool’s Quest

Oh.

I gingerly prodded the tops of my cheekbones and the outer sockets of my eyes. Even if I had not given him his vision back, I would pay a toll for what I had done for him.

Why?

None of the other Skill-healings I’d assisted with had affected me this way. Thick had done a prodigious amount of healing on Aslevjal Island and shown no ill-effects at all. The only difference that came to my mind was my connection to the Fool. It was far more than a Skill-connection: when I had called him back from the other side of death we had had a moment of profound joining. Perhaps we had never truly parted.

I blinked and measured my vision again. I noticed no difference, no hazing. I was almost certain that while we had repaired bone we hadn’t done anything that would benefit his eyesight. I wondered if I would have the courage to attempt any further healing of him. I thought of all I had glimpsed that was broken inside him, all the lingering infections and badly healed damage. How much of that must I take on if I continued my attempts to heal him? Could anyone fault me for refusing to make such a sacrifice? I cleared my throat.

‘Are you certain there is no difference in your vision?’

‘I can’t really tell. Perhaps I perceive more light. My face is sore, but in a different way. The soreness of healing, perhaps. Did you find anything when you were … inside my body? Could you tell what stole my sight?’

‘It’s not like that, Fool. I could tell that there were breaks in your facial bones that hadn’t healed properly. And I put them on the path to healing, and tried to undo some of the places where the bones were not aligned as they should be.’

He lifted questioning hands to his face. ‘Bones? I thought the skull was one bone, mostly.’

‘It’s not. If you wish, later I can show you a human skull.’

‘No. Thank you. I’ll take your word for it. Fitz, I can tell by your voice that you found something else. Is more wrong with me than you wish to tell me?’

I chose my words carefully. No lies this time. ‘Fool, we may have to go more slowly with your healing. The process is demanding for me. We must employ good food and rest as much as we can, and save magical efforts for the more difficult injuries.’ I knew those words were true. I tried not to follow that thought to its logical conclusion.

‘But—’ he began and then halted. I watched the brief struggle in his expression. He so desperately needed to be well and on his quest and yet, as a true friend, he would not ask me to exert myself past my strengths. He’d seen me exhausted from Skill-efforts, and knew what the physical demands could be. I did not need to tell him that the healings might do actual injuries to me. He did not need to bear the guilt for what I’d already done to myself. That was my own doing. He turned his clouded gaze back to the candles. ‘Where did Motley go?’

‘Motley?’

‘The crow.’ He seemed embarrassed to reply. ‘Before she went down to you, we were talking, well, not really, though she knows quite a few words and almost seems to make sense some times. I was asking her, “What’s your name?” Because, well, because it was so quiet up here. At first she said random things in reply. “Stop that!” and “It’s dark” and “Where’s my food?” And finally she said back to me, “What’s your name?” It rattled me for a moment, until I realized she was just mimicking me.’ A tentative smile dawned on his face.

‘So you named her Motley?’

‘I just started calling her Motley. And shared my food with her. You said she came down to you and you painted her. Where is she now?’

I hated to tell him. ‘She came down the stairs and tapped at the secret door. I let her into my room, where she ate half my breakfast. I left the window open for her; I suspect she’s gone by now.’

‘Oh.’ The depth of disappointment in his tone surprised me.

‘I’m sorry.’ He said nothing. ‘She’s a wild creature, Fool. It’s for the best.’

He sighed. ‘I am not certain you are correct about that. Eventually the ink will fade and then what? Her own kind attacks her, Fitz. And crows are flock birds, unaccustomed to being solitary. What will become of her?’

I knew he was right. ‘I don’t know,’ I said quietly. ‘But I also don’t know what else I can do for her.’

‘Keep her,’ he suggested. ‘Give her a place to be and food. Shelter from storms and her enemies.’ He cleared his throat. ‘The same things that King Shrewd offered to a misfit creature.’

‘Fool, I scarcely think that’s a valid comparison. She’s a crow, not a youngster alone in the world.’

‘A youngster. In appearance. Young in terms of my kind, yes. Naïve and unlearned in the wider world in which I found myself. But almost as different from King Shrewd as a crow is from a man. Fitz, you know me. You’ve been me. You know that you and I are as much unlike as we are alike. As like and unlike as you and Nighteyes were. Motley, I think, is as like me as Nighteyes was like you.’

I pinched my lips shut for a moment and then relented. ‘I’ll go and see if I can find her for you. And if I can find her, and if she will come, I’ll bring her up here to you. And set out water and food for her.’

‘Would you?’ His scarred smile was beatific.

‘I will.’ And I rose in that moment, and went down the steps and opened the door to my room. Where I found Motley waiting.

‘Dark,’ she informed me gravely. She hopped up a step, then the next one, and on the third one she turned to look back at me. ‘What’s your name?’ she demanded of me.

‘Tom,’ I said reflexively.

‘Fitz—Chivalry!’ she squawked derisively, and continued her hopping ascent.

‘FitzChivalry,’ I agreed, and found myself smiling. I followed her to make her comfortable.

TEN (#ulink_c9203ab8-9067-5a06-9f96-687b09c4f5f4)

Tidings (#ulink_c9203ab8-9067-5a06-9f96-687b09c4f5f4)

Report for my master

Befriending the scarred man has not been as difficult as we thought it might be. I have realized that part of my reluctance for this assignment was that I feared his appearance. My greatest hurdle, I now perceive, was that I needed to overcome my fear of him before I could lull his fear of me.

It has not been easy to observe him while remaining unobserved as you requested. His blindness seems to have enhanced his other senses. Sometimes, if I arrive before he awakens, I can spend some little time before he is aware of me, but thrice now he has turned his face unerringly toward me and asked ‘Who is there?’ And his fearfulness is such a sad thing to behold that I have not had the will to pretend I am absent. Once, when I crept into the chamber, I found him fallen by the bed and unable to rise. In his distress and pain, he was unaware of me and struggled for some time. I judged that, although he still possesses some strength, he is in such pain that he is unable to raise his body from certain positions. I tried to be an observer only, but when I could stand it no longer, I scuffed my feet as if I had just entered and immediately called out to him that I would be happy to help. It was still difficult for me to put my hands on him and harder still for me to allow him to grip onto me to help him rise. But I overcame my dislike of his touch, and I think it gained me a great deal of regard and trust from him that I did so.

He has not been as reticent to speak to me as you said he might, but instead has shared many tales of his boyhood as King Shrewd’s jester, and stories of himself and Prince FitzChivalry when they were boys. He has also told me tales of his journey to the Mountain Kingdom with Queen Kettricken and his days there when all believed that King Verity was dead and the true Farseer lineage come to an end. And I have heard of the days he spent in the Mountains helping to seek the king, and of his times with Prince FitzChivalry there. Truly, they are tales of heroism and courage beyond any I could have imagined. And I have undertaken to write them down in a separate document, for I think there may be events there that even you have not heard about previously.

For now, I judge I have completed this assignment. I have gained his trust and his confidence. I know that was the sole aim of this exercise, but I will tell you also that I feel I have gained a friend. And for that, my good master, I thank you as much as I thank you for my other instruction.

As you bade me, I have kept my secret and neither seems to have perceived it. The test will be, of course, when they meet me in my true guise. Will either recognize me? I will wager the blind will perceive more than the sighted one.

The Apprentice

After I’d left the Fool with Motley, I had returned to my room, intending to think. But instead, exhausted by the Skill-healing, I had slept. And when at last I awoke, I had no idea what time of day it was.

I rubbed the sleep from my face, wincing at the tenderness around my eyes, then went to the looking-glass and discovered that indeed I looked as bad as I felt. I had feared to find darkness and bruising. Instead my face was puffy and swollen, with a few spatters of ink still. Well, I supposed that was better than looking as if I’d had both eyes blacked in a tavern brawl. I went to the window, opened the shutters and looked out on the setting sun. I felt rested, hungry and reclusive. The idea of leaving my room and venturing out into Buckkeep Castle to find food daunted me.

What was my role to be, now that I was FitzChivalry once more? Even now that I was rested, my efforts to put what had happened into political, social and familial context had failed. In truth, I’d been expecting that someone would summon me. I’d expected a missive from Kettricken, or a Skill-nudge from Chade or Nettle or Dutiful, but there had been nothing. Slowly it came to me that perhaps my relatives were waiting to hear from me.

I damped a towel in my ewer and put the cool bandage over my swollen face. Then I sat down on the edge of my bed, composed myself, stiffened my resolve and reached out to Nettle.

How are you? A question that might have been banal at any other time was now freighted with significance.

How are you? she echoed me. You’ve been so quiet!

I’m stunned, still.

Are you happy it happened?

I had to think about that for a long moment. I think I am. But I’m probably as frightened as I am happy. And you?