The High-Street Bride’s Guide: How to Plan Your Perfect Wedding On A Budget

Elope. Seriously. If both of your friends and family won’t kill you, hotfoot it off to Gretna Green and get the job done right now. No? Okay, so you wouldn’t need this book if running away together was really on the cards, but now we’re agreed that there are going to be more than three or four of you, that means there will come a time when you have to look closely at who’s fattening your list up. Guess what? It’s now.

If it’s work people who are ballooning your invitees, opt for the friends and family wedding. Tell them you’re envisioning an intimate day with parents, siblings and friends you’ve had since you were nine, and then go and make it happen. If more and more friends and family push their way onto the list as the wedding develops, there’s no need to keep it a secret – just make sure your colleagues feel like the good guys for not adding to your stress levels.

Have you been to three weddings a year for the last decade, and now ended up with 60 happily married people on your list who you never see? Don’t make yours a ‘payback’ wedding – and the same goes for friends you haven’t heard from in ages. Take a deep breath, and be realistic: there are no hard and fast rules, but don’t be afraid to admit to yourself which friends and couples have drifted out of your life and probably won’t be in touch after your nuptials.

Think about it: if you really want to reconnect with people who have been out of your life for years, is a day when you’re going to be flitting from table to table for thirty seconds at a time really the best way? Or would you be better off calling them up for a visit a couple of months after the honeymoon, when the dust has settled?

4. Give it a Whirlwind

Don’t even think about this one if you’re not good under pressure. Do consider it if you’re looking for a way out of the giant wedding you and your other half never wanted. Presenting the whirlwind wedding: getting married in six months or less – often in under three months. Depending on your venue, you may find that offering to plan your day in next to no time saves you hundreds of pounds.

The pluses: you’ll be married (hooray!) and you’ll have to be decisive. If you panic when given too many options and have a tendency to drag decisions out, this is one way to make sure you both say ‘yes’ more often than ‘maybe…’. You’ll also find a lot of venues that offer whirlwind packages are happy to hook you up with an in-house planner at no extra charge – and they can help you with the likes of recommended local suppliers. Your package may even include things like basic stationery, chair covers and a master of ceremonies too, so there should at least be a little less on your plate.

The minuses: you’ve got to have a seriously open mind to pull this off. Unless you’re going for an intimate wedding, there’s a good chance not all your guests will be able to make it at short notice. Also, the band or DJ you’ve had your heart set on might turn out to have been booked up months in advance – and, *gulp*, most wedding dress shops prefer six months minimum to order, fit and adjust your dress. So your choices on a few things could be limited – but as you’ll see in the coming chapters, there’s more than one way to find everything you’re looking for.

Negotiating for Dummies

Come on, get out from behind the sofa – soft furnishings won’t protect you from the fact that there’s some bartering to be done. If you want to save maximum money without sacrificing style, that is – and let’s be honest, that’s why you’re here isn’t it? But trust me, this isn’t a quick-fire ‘going, going, gone’ scenario, and no-one’s going to bump up your bid if you scratch your nose – you can take your time, mull every offer over and apply as much or as little pressure as you’re comfy with. And not only do you not have to look your opponent in the eye, you don’t even have to meet them.

We only paid full price for about four things for our whole big day, and I didn’t even have to pick up the phone to make the other prices plummet. For me, email is king. You may have noticed that I’m at home with a keyboard – definitely more so than a high-pressure sales call – so I used my way with the printed word to my advantage. Pick your weapon of choice – email, phone or face-to-face – and work in the way that suits you. But bear in mind these handy hints as you do:

Do Your Research

Know the industry-standard prices for the area you’re into – read super-handy guidebooks (ahem, ’hem) and Google local hairdressers/beauticians/cake makers etc. to get rough prices, high and low, so you know when you’re being swindled. Okay, so the stuff at the lower end of the scale might not be up to scratch – maybe the icing on those cupcakes is a little lobsided or everyone comes out of that hairdresser looking like the Cookie Monster, whether they want to or not, but that’s irrelevant, because you’re not going to let the corner-cutting types near your wedding. You’re just going to use the fact that they exist to make it cheaper.

Know Your Supplier’s Status

Now you know your numbers, contact a handful of your preferred suppliers. These are the guys you really would want at your W-day. Explain your big-day using details that will make a difference to them: it’s off-peak, it’s on a weekday, it’s a last-minute thing, you only need them for a couple of hours and not the usual full day, you have a million people coming (and this could be their chance to bake a million cookies…) – all of these affect them. If their books are looking empty for the next two months and you’re offering them a job, they’re likely to take it at less than their usual rate. If you want them on a Wednesday when they’d normally be twiddling their thumbs, they’re more likely to jump at the chance for some extra moolah, even if it’s not as much as they’d get on a Saturday. Explain that you’re not flush and you’re getting quotes from a few places – competition can only be a good thing – then ask them for their best price.

Photographers are a specialist area: they get their names out there via wedding magazines and blogs, and both of those want original, quirky weddings with a lot of personal details, so – and this won’t be the last time I say this – Describe. Your. Day. That’ll get your very-visual snapper on-side with the whole idea of shooting your totally awesome theme, not to mention getting the press potential popping up in front of their peepers. And the more they want the job, the more they’ll be willing to bargain with you.

Keep an Open Mind

The truth: you might not get your #1 dream supplier at your can-it-really-be-real price. But you are likely to get someone similar for a number that’s not too much of a stretch. How? In one of three ways:

A few of the suppliers you contacted come back with good discounts. Dive right in to your favourite, take them at the price they’ve quoted and you’re away.

Only one or two of them can offer you any kind of discount, and it’s not as much as you’d hoped for. This is where those nightmare low-priced, wonky, blue-haired suppliers come in. Quote one of the low-par prices, saying this is what you can get your preferred supplier’s service for, and see if they can match it or at least get any closer to it. Hooray – higher-quality supplies/service for lower-quality rates!

If no-one can offer you a reasonable discount, one option is to decide whether to ditch said supply altogether – how much do you really want chair covers? – while the other route is to ask for recommendations. Most good businesspeople know the competition, and will have done their own price research. They’ll be able to put you in touch with competitors who offer a similar or slightly lesser service (like someone talented without the experience to prove it) at a less expensive price than theirs. And that gives you a lower price point from which to get the whole negotiating process going again with the new name.

It’s seriously that simple. Admittedly it might be tougher if you’ve found somebody seriously niche – no-one was budging on the price of the three-foot-high light-up ‘love’ sign we wanted, since you don’t exactly see those every day – but as long as there’s competition for what you’re after (there are always plenty of bakers, hairdressers, make-up artists and photographers), there’s going to be room for monetary manoeuvre. Just try it.

Chapter 2

The Venue (#ue6b9f003-1ade-5319-af0e-478647d2bbcd)

Eat, drink and be merry for less

I’m starting here because this is likely to be your biggest outlay. Between hiring the place, getting your registrar over and feeding and watering everybody, it’s one part of your day that can quickly pile on the pounds.

Before You Start

If you haven’t read my golden rules back in The Basics, now’s the time do it – trust me, not-so big spender, they’re absolutely worth it. Once you’ve decided whether to go off-season, get hitched on a weekday, keep your guest list trim or get married in three months flat, then we’ll talk.

You Little Fibber

It’s a sad fact that the word ‘wedding’ sounds like ‘kerching!’ in the minds of some venues and suppliers – they know you’re planning the perfect day, and they think you’ll sell your car to pay for it. An industry tip that gets bandied around is to tell them you’re planning a ‘family party’ – and it can work, too, if you’ve got the nerve to stick to it.

When I first started planning my big day, I chickened out and owned up – worried that they’d try and stick me with a big bill when I turned up in a white dress – but the experience was an eye-opener that might make you think twice about being quite so forthcoming.

Here’s how my little tale of woe went: I found a beautiful venue online and emailed them asking what it would cost to hire a room, have a barbecue for about 100 people and bring in a DJ for dancing later. I said it was a ‘family party’ since the plan was to have my ceremony and all the actual matrimonial stuff at the registry office, then rock up there later.

Back came the chirpy reply from an enthusiastic salesperson, attaching reams of barbecue menus and quoting me a fee our budget liked. Ecstatic, we called her up, agreed to come and see the place and what do you know? There we were in the entrance hall a few days later. And that’s where it happened: she asked me what kind of ‘family party’ I was having, and I cracked: “Well it’s a wedding reception, but it’s just the party, not the ceremony or anything.”

Before I could blink she’d told me that they couldn’t do barbecues for weddings, only three-course meals, and that we couldn’t have the room we wanted – funnily enough the only ones we could now have were more expensive.

Why? I didn’t have to have a room that was certified for weddings – we’d already have had the ceremony before we got there. And I wasn’t changing the plan for the party one iota – we didn’t want posh chops on the BBQ or some kind of lovey-dovey wedding DJ. That didn’t seem to matter though – she was changing it, in no uncertain terms, and it was going to cost us – wait for it – double.

So it’s up to you if you’ve got the guts to try your luck – and if you do, make sure you read your contract carefully. Also keep in mind that this won’t fly if you’re planning to accost the registrar and turn up in your room of choice – it has to be certified if you want it for your ceremony.

But if you can get it away with it, you could end up having your reception somewhere you never really thought you could afford, and just the way you like it – not to mention that if they’re anything like our lot was, you could be getting it for half their normal nuptial rate.

Flexi Time

If you’re stuck on a traditional wedding venue – the country house, the big hotel – you’re going to have to be smart or it’s going to cost you. And even then, there will still be some sky-high hire prices or required bedroom rentals that will take certain venues out of the running. Wherever you get married, though, there are, as always, a few general rules that could help you keep the costs down.

The Ceremony

Let me say right from the start that you’ll almost always pay more to have your ceremony at your reception venue. You’ll generally pay over the odds to have a registrar come out to you to start with, and then you’ve got to tack on a cost of room hire that usually blows the registry office’s out of the water. Sundays and Bank Holidays are the most expensive wherever you walk down the aisle, but even midweek nuptials can be as much as twice the registry office price if you want your registrar off-site.

Do the numbers, but unless your reception venue is out in the sticks, even if you have to hop in your dad’s car or pre-book a taxi to get you from ‘I do’ to ‘woohoo!’ it’s likely to work out cheaper than doing it all in one place – and believe me, no-one will notice what car you arrive in now the Prosecco’s out and rings are on fingers.

The Reception

If you manage to find a place that comes in within budget and you’ve got the time to suss them out, don’t sign anything until you can tell whether they’re flexible. There are all sorts of ways to save on your reception as long as you can get your go-between to go for it.

Culinary Expertise

The three-course, sit-down meal is the most expensive way to feed your five thousand, hands down. Yes, it suits a formal gathering, and silver service always feels special, but weigh up how much you need it when it can be two or three times more than some other options.

If you have to have it, though, be clever: ask if you can serve your canapés as starters with the pre-reception drinks, or, if you really want to stay on your venue’s good side, they tend to prefer it if you opt for the wedding cake instead of dessert.

One option that’s similarly genteel, super-popular and certainly worth asking your venue about is the classic afternoon tea. Bottles of pop and pots of chai are immediately cheaper than wine, wine, wine – but a Prohibition-era theme could see to that if you still want to serve some bubbly. Then there are the snacks themselves – a few finger sandwiches, satisfyingly stodgy scones with clotted cream and pretty cakes won’t set you back nearly as much as tomato soup followed by the customary dried chicken and chocolate mousse that everyone pushes around to save room for cake.

In summer, a barbecue is a fun option, and only requires minimal staffing on the venue’s part. The winter equivalent is the hog roast – not so easy on the eyes maybe, but there’ll be no complaints from your guests’ satisfied stomachs. And before you ask, yes, you can get vegetarian options – just ask your venue what they can do.

Buffets are the usual antidote to all the pomp and circumstance of the post-speech feed-with-servants, and just like the BBQ and hog roast, having people queue for their food doesn’t mean you can’t have all the fun of a seating plan – if anything, it gives those single ushers and maids something to chat about before they find their tables.