Something Like Happy

They sat in the café with a happy buzz of background conversation washing over them.

Nick was tucking into a full English breakfast. ‘So,’ he waved his fork in her direction, ‘was the third thing on the list, do exercise?’

Jade shook her head, crunching into her toast. ‘No. Actually, it was meditate.’

Nick sighed. ‘I’m not sure how much meditation I did, really. I did a lot of thinking but can’t really say I reached a true meditative state.’

Jade realised he was teasing her, just slightly. ‘To be honest, it’s not really my thing either. I only started it because some of my Twitter followers suggested it. And I like Peter. He’s always funny when he does a class.’

‘Wait.’ Nick leaned towards her, food momentarily forgotten. ‘What do you mean, some of your Twitter followers?’

Jade blushed, realising she would have to tell him. ‘I write,’ she said, trying to keep her voice casual. ‘Not for money. I write short stories and publish them on the internet for people to read.’

Nick raised his eyebrows, obviously impressed. ‘What sort of stuff do you write? I mean, what kind of stories?’

‘Lots of stuff, really. But I guess mainly science fiction. Or really, what people these days call near future. Things that could happen soon, but not really far in the future. And occasionally some paranormal stuff.’

‘So how did the meditation thing come up?’

‘Oh.’ Jade had gone off on a different train of thought already, and Nick’s question dragged her back. ‘When I was putting together the happy list. I thought I’d poll people about what made them happy. Twitter is so full of negative people all the time.’ She paused, remembering. ‘It was great actually. Lots of people just find happiness in simple things. Spending time with their family. Going for a walk with the dog. Anyway, there were a few people who mentioned meditation. So I thought I would try it. And I found the class with Peter, which does make me happy. So I guess it does work.’ She smiled as she thought about her favourite suggestion though, from a woman and her vibrator. She wouldn’t mention that one to Nick. Not here, at any rate.

‘Go on, let’s have a look.’ Nick’s question pulled her out of her thoughts again.

‘At what?’ Jade looked at him suspiciously.

‘At your Twitter profile.’ He dug out his phone. ‘What’s your handle?’

Jade dived for her own phone in her handbag. Doing it this way, with any luck he wouldn’t remember it and then wouldn’t be able to look it up later. She pulled it up and passed it across to him.

‘Wow, more than five thousand followers. I’m impressed.’ He scrolled through a few of her tweets. ‘Have you ever thought of trying to get published?’ He placed the phone back on the table and returned to his breakfast.

Jade retrieved her phone, as if having it back would return the information to the mental box she had opened. She didn’t have to tell him the whole story. It was her private life to keep private. Still, she could tell him part of it. The part that didn’t hurt that much anymore. ‘When I was growing up, I wanted to. I really wanted to write for a living.’

Nick frowned. ‘What happened?’

Jade shrugged. ‘I went to Glasgow Uni to study English. I was convinced I was going to become the next JK Rowling or Isaac Asimov.’ She smiled slightly at the memory.

Nick was clearly listening intently, a piece of sausage left forgotten on his fork half-way to his mouth. She motioned at it and he recovered, did a fake double-take as if he had never seen it before, and ate it.

‘Anyway,’ Jade went on quickly, ‘we had some family problems in my final year and I bombed out of my exams and never went back.’

‘Wouldn’t they let you re-take them?’ Nick was quick in her defence, with indignation in his tone.

Jade twisted a finger through her hair. ‘They would have done. But after everything it all just seemed unnecessary, you know.’ She waved a hand, trying to sound dismissive.

Nick was silent for a while, as if he was trying to digest what she had said.

‘So what do you do for money?’ he finally asked.

Jade blinked. She had really been expecting him to ask about the reason she had flaked out of university. Maybe because this was the story she least wanted to tell. But it seemed for whatever reason that he either wasn’t interested or sensed her reluctance to go into any more detail.

She relaxed, leaning back in her chair. ‘I work at the go-karting centre. Down by the river.’

‘No way.’ Nick dropped his knife on the floor and hurriedly retrieved it, wiping it on his serviette. ‘That’s such a cool job. Do they let you drive the cars?’

Jade shrugged. ‘It’s OK. The guy who runs the place is pretty good. I only work on reception, but sometimes when the mechanics make repairs then they ask us to drive them round for a few laps just to check that things are working properly.’

Nick sighed. ‘I don’t know why I’m working in an office when I could be doing something like that.’ He finished off his last bit of food, placing his knife and fork carefully together.

‘I bet I earn half what you do,’ Jade pointed out. ‘And you don’t come home stinking of go-kart fuel.’

‘You just had to spoil the fantasy.’ Nick sighed again, this time theatrically.

Jade had to laugh at that. ‘No job is perfect.’

He rubbed his forehead. ‘I don’t know … I loved my job as a mountain guide.’

‘So why the hell are you here in Glasgow doing a job that you clearly hate?’ She found herself leaning forward, as if to emphasise the point she was making.

Nick looked at her, clearly surprised. ‘How do you know that I hate my job? I’ve never talked about it.’

Jade threw up her hands, wondering if she had to spell everything out. ‘Exactly. You never talk about it. Most people who love their jobs, you can’t stop them talking about it.’

‘I don’t hate my job.’ He must have realised he sounded unconvincing, because he amended, ‘Well, not much.’

‘So what’s so bad about it?’ she found herself asking.

Nick paused, as if wondering which item to pick from a very long list. Or just maybe no one had asked him that question before. He scratched his chin, which was covered in a layer of slightly rugged stubble. ‘A combination of things, really. It’s a pretty macho environment for starters.’

‘Tell me about it.’ Jade rolled her eyes. She knew all about that from where she worked. Still, it wasn’t like the guys didn’t care about the girls … they just did it in a slightly condescending way. ‘I’ve never heard a guy complain about that before.’

Nick pulled himself up straight, as if this was something that mattered a lot to him. ‘We’re not all the same, you know.’

Jade suddenly remembered the forgotten half of her breakfast which still lay on her plate and took another bite.

‘What is that weird orange stuff anyway?’ Nick pointed at her plate.

‘It’s called sobrasada according to the menu. From Spain apparently.’

He studied her plate, where the sobrasada was smeared on toast with mashed avocado. ‘Well, it’s the weirdest looking sandwich I’ve ever seen. I hope it tastes better than it looks.’

‘It’s amazing.’ Jade held out a piece. ‘Do you want to try it?’

Nick shook his head, rubbing his stomach. ‘I would, but I’m pretty full. I’ll have to have a try next time.’

‘Oh.’ Jade decided it was a perfect opportunity to tease him. ‘Does that that mean there will be a next time?’ She winked at him.

‘Well, what about next week?’