After Tex

A terrible sinking sensation settled in the pit of her stomach as she read on.

Whatever it is you have to do to keep all those balls you’re juggling in the air can just as easily be done from here. That’s what faxes and computers were made for, leastways that’s what you’re always telling me. Put technology to good use. Make this one of those challenges you’re always talking about. You can make it work, Megan, if you want to badly enough.

Could she? Tex certainly had more faith in her than she had in herself, at least in this one area. Megan glanced back at the page and saw that there was more.

If you choose to go, if other arrangements need to be made for Tess, well, Jake knows what to do. You’ve made your own way. You don’t need anything I could leave you. I have to take care of the child, Meggie. I have to see to what’s best for her.

He’d phrased the letter in the form of a request, but it was evident from this final paragraph that it was a whole lot more than that. Megan was to stay on the ranch with Tess indefinitely, become the rancher he’d always wanted her to be—or lose everything. Her choice, or so he wanted it to seem.

“He expects me to stay here?” she demanded, staring at Jake for confirmation of her own interpretation of the letter.

“Yes.”

“Or?”

“The ranch will be sold—to me—and the money will be put in trust for Tess.”

“He can’t mean it,” she whispered, even though she knew that he had.

“He did.”

“But I can’t go on living here. I can’t just walk away from my career, everything that means anything to me.”

Jake shrugged. “You have a choice. Stay, or go and lose the ranch. Tess can stay on here with me.”

“That’s no choice. I don’t give a damn about the ranch. I never have.”

“Then walk away. You certainly don’t need his money or his land, right?”

“No,” Megan agreed. She didn’t need land or money, but she had always craved Tex’s approval, and she knew that even from the grave he’d withhold it if she didn’t at least try to do as he asked.

Besides, she thought, who else was there? Not Jake, no matter how calmly he had declared his willingness to step in. She wouldn’t have him doing what was by rights her duty. She—Lord help them both—was all Tess had, just as Tex had once been all Megan had had. She would manage just as Tex had. O’Rourkes always did what was expected of them. It had been her grandfather’s mantra.

“So, what’s it going to be, Meggie? Will you stay or go?”

“You’d just love it if I left, wouldn’t you? You’d stay here, do the noble thing, be a hero.”

“I’m not sure I’d be declared a hero, but your leaving would ease the way toward me getting this ranch.” He shot her a lazy grin. “But I can wait. Having you around again might be even more fascinating.”

That night was the longest of Megan’s life. She felt as alone and every bit as afraid as she had when her mother had abandoned her on Tex’s doorstep years before. The only thing that kept her from sinking into despair was knowing that, as bad as she felt, Tess probably felt worse—more frightened and even more alone.

Not that the child would show it. Tess had avoided her for most of the evening, and when Megan had offered to go upstairs with her and tuck her in, the girl had jeered, “I ain’t no baby,” and stalked off with shoulders squared proudly.

In the moments that followed, Megan had longed for someone she could confide in, but the only person who came to mind was Jake, and she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her vulnerable and uncertain.

By the time it occurred to her that Peggy would have listened and probably offered sensible, down-to-earth advice, it was too late to call.

“Get a grip,” Megan muttered to herself when the illuminated dial on her bedside clock ticked on toward four o’clock.

She reminded herself that she ran an entire media conglomerate, that she had all sorts of resources at her disposal, that she was known worldwide for her creative solutions to all sorts of social dilemmas. Surely she could come up with something that fit the fix she was in.

By five she was up, dressed and in the kitchen searching for the coffee grinder. When she found nothing but a store brand of already ground, ordinary Colombian beans, she sighed heavily, put them into the automatic coffeemaker and waited to see what sort of pitiful brew emerged. She grimaced at the taste, but it was hot and loaded with caffeine, so it would do.

At five-thirty she reached for the phone and called her office. Todd picked up on the first ring.

“How’s it going back there?” she asked, suddenly unsure just how much she was ready to tell him about the upcoming upheaval in all their lives. No matter what her final decision, some things would inevitably change.

“We’re managing,” he assured her. “What about you?”

“Same here.”

“When will you be back?”

“Well, that’s the thing,” she began slowly.

“Megan, is there some sort of a problem?” he asked sympathetically. “I know losing Tex can’t be easy, despite the way you two argued all the time. We can cope around here for a couple of weeks if you need more time.”

She drew in a deep breath. “It may be a little longer than that.”

Todd fell silent. “How long?” he asked eventually.

“I’m not saying it’s going to happen. It’s certainly not what I want—”

“Spit it out, Megan. What’s the worst-case scenario?”

“Worst case? Unless I can find some other way to handle certain things, and believe me I am trying, I could be here permanently.”

“Permanently?” he echoed, as if the word were unfamiliar. “As in forever?”

“That’s the definition I’m most familiar with.”

“What the hell is going on out there?” Todd demanded. “Have you been taken captive or something?”

“The days of the Wild West are pretty much over,” Megan assured him, grinning despite herself.

“Then what?”

“It’s gotten complicated,” she said, settling for the same word she’d used with Tess.

Todd was no more satisfied with the response than Tess had been. “Complicated how? The estate and stuff?”

“You could say that.”

“Megan, why don’t you just spit it out?” he repeated with a rare touch of impatience. “I need to know what we’re up against here. Are you closing things down? Selling out?”

“Absolutely not!” It was more certainty than she’d displayed with Jake, but she realized she’d made her decision about that overnight.

“Then explain.”