After Tex

He grinned and settled back in the easy chair opposite her—Tex’s chair, the leather one that was oversize to fit a big man. Jake looked as at home in it as Tex ever had. The relief she felt at Jake’s being there unnerved her. The house was too empty without Tex. She accepted the fact that it would have felt that way even if it had been crowded with people. She told herself that a cattle thief was a poor substitute for the honorable man her grandfather had been, but she was a little too grateful for the company just the same. That made it all the more important to see that he left.

“Didn’t you hear what I said?” she asked testily.

“You trying to get rid of me, Meggie?”

“I was hoping to, yes,” she said bluntly. “I’m tired, Jake. It’s been a long, grueling day.”

“I’m sure it has been,” he agreed. “But there are matters we have to discuss.”

“Tonight?”

“I think so.”

“Such as?”

“Tess.”

Her head pounded just thinking about Tess. “I told you I am not talking about Tess.”

“You can’t ignore the subject, Megan. She’s not going to vanish overnight.”

Megan closed her eyes as if to deny the truth of what he was saying. Unfortunately, Tess was very real and apparently very much her responsibility. Megan didn’t have to see the terms of Tex’s will in black and white to prove it. She doubted that Jake, for all of his flaws, would have the audacity to lie about something so important.

“I can’t deal with this now.”

“You have to,” he insisted.

“Aren’t you the one who just finished saying that Tess wasn’t going anywhere? I’ll deal with that situation tomorrow.”

“Or the next day or the one after that,” he suggested sarcastically. “She’s a kid. You can’t just back-burner her until it’s convenient. She needs some reassurance that things are going to work out, that you’ll take care of her now. She’s already convinced you don’t want her. Can you imagine how insecure that makes her feel?”

The memory of another terrified, insecure little girl came back to haunt her. Megan tried to push it aside, bury it where it belonged, in the past. “Where did this show of concern come from?” she asked Jake. “I don’t remember you being the fatherly type.”

“I’m talking common decency here. Tess is scared. Can you blame her? Of all people, you ought to know what it feels like to be dumped on someone’s doorstep.”

Megan shuddered despite herself. The memories flooded back once more. It had been more than two decades ago and she still remembered how terrifyingly alone she had felt in a strange house, knowing that her mother had gone away, more than likely for good.

What was it about the women in Tex’s life—his own daughter, Tess’s mama, even Megan herself—that they all fled? Had they been overwhelmed by the sheer force of his personality? Had they needed to escape to find themselves?

“I’ll check on Tess when I go upstairs,” she said, resigned to the fact that he wouldn’t leave her in peace without such a promise.

“It’ll take more than a kiss on the cheek and tucking the blankets around her to fix things,” Jake pointed out, still not satisfied.

“Dammit, I know that,” Megan said, frustrated by his persistence. “I’ll do what I can. You’ve known about this for how long now? Weeks, maybe. Months. I’ve had less than a day. You’ll have to excuse me if I’m inept at the maternal bit. As you just reminded me, I never had an example to go by.”

He looked vaguely guilty. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to reopen old wounds.”

“Of course you did. And you were right,” she admitted with a sigh. “I should be more understanding, since I went through the exact same thing.” She thought of Tess’s attitude. The child had deliberately done everything in her power to goad Megan all through dinner. “She’s not making it easy, you know.”

Jake clearly wasn’t persuaded. “Did you?”

She thought back. She’d pretty much challenged Tex every chance she got until the ground rules were laid out and had taken hold. “I suppose not.”

“You’re the grown-up now, Meggie. Do what you wish had been done for you way back then.” That said, he finally seemed satisfied that he’d done what he could. He stood up and headed for the door. “You need anything, call.”

“I’ll manage.”

He shook his head. “Whatever.” At the door, he paused. “We’ll go over the rest of Jake’s will after the funeral, okay? That’ll be soon enough.”

Megan doubted there were any more bombshells to be dropped. Just in case, though, she muttered, “I can’t wait.”

As soon as Jake was gone, she slipped over to Tex’s chair just as she had so many times in the past the instant her grandfather had left the room. The leather was still warm from Jake’s heat. She could almost pretend that Tex himself had just been sitting there, but it was Jake’s scent that surrounded her tonight. Despite her reluctance to accept anything at all from him, she curled up in the spot where he’d been and took comfort from the lingering traces of his presence.

She thought of the pushy, irritating man who’d just left, the angry little girl upstairs and the sneaky old coot who was gone forever.

“Oh, Tex,” she whispered, battling fresh tears. “What have you done to me?”

4

The slightly plump woman standing on the front porch with an armload of casserole dishes had a wary expression in her eyes, as if she were uncertain of her welcome. Her arrival had taken Megan by surprise. In New York she wasn’t used to people dropping by, and even if they did, there was a whole layer of security built in before they ever reached her. Surprise didn’t take away the pleasure, however. It had been way too long since she’d seen her onetime best friend.

“Megan, it’s me, Peggy,” the woman announced in an insecure rush before Megan could acknowledge her. “I probably should have called first, but we don’t stand on ceremony much around here. It’s probably not like that in New York. What with all you do, you probably have a zillion secretaries to keep people from bothering you.” She thrust the food toward Megan. “I’ll just leave this and run along.”

If she’d slowed down for even a second, Megan would have welcomed her with a hug, but Peggy had always chattered on without pausing for breath. Being ill at ease only made her worse. Megan snagged her friend’s arm as she turned away.

“You get in here, Peggy. You’re not going anywhere,” Megan insisted.

Peggy’s expression brightened. “Are you sure? I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“How could you possibly be a bother? Now get in here. Let me take this into the other room and I’ll be right with you.”

She waited until Peggy had come inside before carrying the still-warm casseroles toward the dining room table, which was already heaped with offerings from other neighbors. When she returned to the foyer, Peggy was still regarding her uncertainly.

“I wasn’t sure you’d even remember me,” she confessed.

“And why wouldn’t I?” Megan said, startled by the statement. “We grew up together. I slept over at your house whenever Tex would let me. You know more of my secrets than anyone else on earth. How could you possibly think I wouldn’t remember you?”

Peggy shrugged. “It’s been a long time.” She said it without judgment or rancor, just a statement of fact that spoke volumes about the way Megan had cut not only Whispering Wind, but everyone in it out of her life. There’d been no cards, no letters, not even a quick, occasional phone call to Peggy.

“I’m sorry,” Megan said sincerely. “I never meant for so much time to go by. Can you stay for a bit? We can make up for lost time.”

Even as she said the words, she realized just how much she had missed having a real confidante, someone who knew her inside out and never judged. She had hundreds of acquaintances now, but few good friends and absolutely no one who shared a lifelong history with her. Seeing Peggy and remembering middle-of-the-night confidences, shared dreams and irrepressible giggles made her feel the absence in a way she never had before.

“Are you sure?” Peggy asked. “I know you must have a million and one things to do. We’re all real sorry about Tex. If there’s anything you need, you just have to ask. Wilma at the funeral home said you’d been in to arrange for the services. Everyone’ll be there, of course. Tex touched a lot of lives around here. I never realized how many till I was grown and on my own. Kids never do, I guess.” She paused and grinned. “I guess you can tell I still go on and on. Just hush me up whenever you’re tired of hearing my voice. Johnny says I could talk a man to death. He believes that’s how I get my way so often.”

Megan searched her memory. The image of a freckle-faced blond boy with an untamable cowlick and a shy smile came to mind. “You married Johnny Barkley?”

“Who else?” Peggy said. “I mooned over him long enough. I guess I just wore him down. We have three children, two boys and a girl, which explains how I’ve managed to put on twenty pounds I don’t need and turned most of my hair gray, though you can’t tell it because of the blond rinse I’ve been using. I’ll be darned if I’m going to look old before my time the way my mama did. Of course, she looks terrific now that she’s down in Arizona. She had herself a facelift last year. I swear she looks almost as young as me.”